F
fireflykirsten
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I just wrote a long post and the whole things got deleted...
In a nutshell- I am a single Mom with a 14 yr old daughter (and a 6 yr old son who is wonderful) who has had serious attitude since she was 12. Last week her Dad, informed me he's lost his job, and is planning to move out of state to Minnesota with his new wife and wants to take Ashley, our 14 yr old with him. Up until now, we've split the kids 50/50 for the past 3 yrs. I told him it is out of the question, I will not allow her to move out of state and be torn away from me and her brother. I have gotten an attorney and filed the paperwork and now it's just a wait and see...very stressful. I enrolled the kids in school here full time as their Dad is moving as soon as he finds a job. Meanwhile, my daughter has been visiting my sister in Seattle, something she does for a week or two every summer. This year, my ex planned her trip and she's there for 4 weeks this year. This morning, I get an email from Ashley, TELLING ME that she has decided it's in her best interest, to live with my sister full time from now on!!!! I won't go into her details, but anyway...I am very upset that my sister obviously talked to her about this being an option without even consulting me! Now, my 14 yr old will have 2 new reasons to hate me #1, I won't let her go live with her irresponsible partying Dad who expects nothing from her and leaves her alone so he can go out with his new wife, and #2, I won't let her move in with my sister in Seattle who lives the opulant life! OMG!
I am terrified about how my daughter will act when she comes home, has to live here, AGAINST HER WILL. She will think i am the reason for all of her pain and suffering, such a horrible torturous life to live! Now...while I am not rich and have struggled up until the last year or so (I've been divorced 3 years) by working full time to provide for my 2 kids, I now have a loving fiance and 2 (almost) step sons that I adore, a very nice comfortable house, plenty of food and the comforts of life...I may not make a 6 figure income like my sister and her husband, but we don't live in the slums either if you know what I mean. I am horrified that my sister would fill her head with this...I really feel it is completely undermining me as a parent.
I wrote back to my daughter and told her I am sorry, but that is not an option. I will call my sister later tonight when I am home from work and discuss how this came about...It has made a hard situation, even harder. She has already been destructive, broken things, disrespects other people's property, is disrespectful to my fiance and his boys at times, just seems to think she's entitled to everything no matter how lousy her attitude is.
Can anyone give me their advice? I am literally neauseated that my daughter would rather go live with my sister I can see why, but it still hurts. Now i have to deal with fighting my ex to have her here full time, and my sister who has completely undermined my wishes to have her live here with us full time.
Help
In a nutshell- I am a single Mom with a 14 yr old daughter (and a 6 yr old son who is wonderful) who has had serious attitude since she was 12. Last week her Dad, informed me he's lost his job, and is planning to move out of state to Minnesota with his new wife and wants to take Ashley, our 14 yr old with him. Up until now, we've split the kids 50/50 for the past 3 yrs. I told him it is out of the question, I will not allow her to move out of state and be torn away from me and her brother. I have gotten an attorney and filed the paperwork and now it's just a wait and see...very stressful. I enrolled the kids in school here full time as their Dad is moving as soon as he finds a job. Meanwhile, my daughter has been visiting my sister in Seattle, something she does for a week or two every summer. This year, my ex planned her trip and she's there for 4 weeks this year. This morning, I get an email from Ashley, TELLING ME that she has decided it's in her best interest, to live with my sister full time from now on!!!! I won't go into her details, but anyway...I am very upset that my sister obviously talked to her about this being an option without even consulting me! Now, my 14 yr old will have 2 new reasons to hate me #1, I won't let her go live with her irresponsible partying Dad who expects nothing from her and leaves her alone so he can go out with his new wife, and #2, I won't let her move in with my sister in Seattle who lives the opulant life! OMG!
I am terrified about how my daughter will act when she comes home, has to live here, AGAINST HER WILL. She will think i am the reason for all of her pain and suffering, such a horrible torturous life to live! Now...while I am not rich and have struggled up until the last year or so (I've been divorced 3 years) by working full time to provide for my 2 kids, I now have a loving fiance and 2 (almost) step sons that I adore, a very nice comfortable house, plenty of food and the comforts of life...I may not make a 6 figure income like my sister and her husband, but we don't live in the slums either if you know what I mean. I am horrified that my sister would fill her head with this...I really feel it is completely undermining me as a parent.
I wrote back to my daughter and told her I am sorry, but that is not an option. I will call my sister later tonight when I am home from work and discuss how this came about...It has made a hard situation, even harder. She has already been destructive, broken things, disrespects other people's property, is disrespectful to my fiance and his boys at times, just seems to think she's entitled to everything no matter how lousy her attitude is.
Can anyone give me their advice? I am literally neauseated that my daughter would rather go live with my sister I can see why, but it still hurts. Now i have to deal with fighting my ex to have her here full time, and my sister who has completely undermined my wishes to have her live here with us full time.
Help