A good day, a long day, a sad day

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Jan 22, 2009.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Oh my gosh, what a day it's been. I was up all night with my legs and finally got to sleep sometime around 6am, only to get up at 9:30.

    My mom took me to my GP appointment. I was afraid of how the appointment was going to go. Ever since the GYN told me that I'm really lucky to have my doctor because most doctor's don't want to deal with 'complicated' patients. So, I guess that has always been in the back of my mind that she is going to get frustrated and dump me.

    Well, not at all. She has become very unhappy with the pain doctor she sent me to - the one she really liked. Not only did he offer nothing for me, he's been excruiatingly selective with who he'll take and they've had 2 other patients who have gotten basically the same treatment that I did. I told her I'm tired of looking into what is going on; that I figure it's going to take something that smacks them in the face before they can identify it. She agreed. So, we are going with the fibro and CFS diagnosis for now. She is totally for me applying for disability. In addition, she sent a referral to a sports doctor who does accupuncture and I already have an appointment for Monday. The initial visit will be covered by my insurance, but the actual procedure will be out of pocket. Further, she's referring me to another hospital for pain mgmt. She didn't do this right away because it's almost an hour away and she knows how hard it is for me to get around. However, it's close to my mom, so I'll just schedule for days when I can go to my mom's and she can take me. It's in downtown Columbus; I'll never find it on my own. Not with my cognitive issues - I get turned around so easily now. And the good thing about this place is everything is right there: the pain doctor, the PT, water therapy, etc - all overseen by the pain doctor.

    Had my car towed to the dealership last night. $665 today for the repair. I had a tune up done by a reputable mechanic 18 months ago. Apparently, the aftermarket spark plugs and wires used weren't compatible with my car. So, essentially it got another tune up plus some scheduled maintenance.

    We get home from the doctor and grocery shopping - still waiting on the car. And then the rest of the story unfolds.

    Devon had his heart set on this 2000 Toyota Celica that he found Monday. He just got his car about 6 months ago. I told him that he did not need to start out life in debt and that he should save his money and then he could trade in his car and pay cash for the rest. He asked what Nana (my mom) would say and I told him she would say the same thing.

    In the meantime, the GP HAD ordered blood work for Devon on Monday. The office staff didn't let us know. So, after this conversation took place with him and my mom about the Celica - I wasn't in the room - he left to go do that. He came back in a really, really bad mood. He hadn't even made it to the lab yet. He was just ticked. I guess he was feeling criticized by everyone. Or so he said.

    Except, that while he was gone we were all talking (my mom, me, Devon's friend and Devon's girlfriend). My car is just going to be one expense after another. We've put way more money into my car in the last year than it's worth and I know that the next thing to go is going to be the transmission. It's just throwing good money after bad.

    So, when he came back we wanted to talk to him about it. Except he was royally ticked and wouldn't talk and stormed out of the house after making sure he was going to the right lab. I mean, just completely walked away from me. I followed him out and told him not to walk away from me when I'm talking to him and he kept going. My mom went out and he left. I called his cell and it was turned off. I left a not at all nice message about how he messed (NOT the word I used) up because we were going to talk to him about the Celica and since he walked away from me like that, not to plan on doing anything this weekend.

    A few minutes later, a woman from the lab called since Devon is only 17 to make sure it was ok to do the blood draw. I answered and then asked her (in that syrupy sweet voice that any mom knows means momma ain't happy) if she could do me a favor and ask Devon to call me - that it's really important. She said, "He's standing right here. Would you like for me to put him on the phone?" in a conspiring tone of voice. To which I replied, "I would *love* that." Then told Devon to check his voicemail and he needed to come home after his appointment. Boy, did he feel like a jerk.

    In the end, we traded my car for the Celica. Devon is going to be making payments to my mom every month and I now have Devon's car. I couldn't believe how hard it was to part with my car. I cried. Then I said it was stupid. And I cried some more. And as always with buying a car, there's a bunch of BS that you have to put up with and I have to say that getting ticked off sometimes really pays off. I'm not this meek person. When someone is BS'ing, I call them on it. And they really don't know what to do with that. And we were walking out and I had to walk back to get the key to my car (from when they appraised it) and they didn't want to give it to me. "Let's see what we can do here." It also helped that I knew this car had been sitting on the lot for 90 days because banks won't finance a car with 100,000 miles on it and that if they didn't sell it, like now, it would end up going to auction where they would lose a lot of money on it. A lot of people don't know that. However, we bought our car from another dealership owned by the same company (they have like 12 or something) and we learned a lot. Plus, they had already lowered the price $2000 in those 3 months.

    So, Devon has his new car. It's a manual. He's driven manuals before, but these gears are really tight and he stalled it 17 times on the way home. And I have a dependable car. I guess it doesn't matter that I don't like the car I'll be driving now. I don't drive much anyway.

    I miss my car. I can't believe I would ever say that. But, I really miss my car.

    Quite an eventful day. I'm exhausted.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    OMG I'm exhausted just from reading it. :faint:

    Whew phew! What a day! Sounds like it basically all turned out good in the end, though. You have a car that runs and is dependable, even if you don't like it. Devon has his "dream" car. I had to lol that he stalled it so many times. And he got his much needed blood tests. And you are being sent to a new pain management doctor plus will be able to apply for disability which will help with finances a bit.

    Don't feel bad about crying over your car. I'll probably do the same thing when it comes time to finally give mine up.

  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Yep, 17 times. And it's only about a 5 minute drive from the dealership to our house. 1st and 3rd are really close to each other and I think he was trying to take off from 3rd gear by mistake. At one point, though, we sat through the light at the exit ramp 3 times because he'd keep stalling it and then the light would change. Fortunately, a cop pulled up beside him and gave him some guidance and told him to keep trying - but to hurry because traffic was backing up. And because of the cop, no one was blaring their horn, which would have made him more nervous. I was in the car behind him. I've never driven a manual. Dan was driving me, though, and he was getting ready to jump out and trade places with Devon when he got it going. That time. :faint:

    My car, though...geesh...I can't believe how upset I am over this. I got that car 2 weeks before I closed on my house. My dad and both of my exes always told me that I would never amount to anything and at 29, I bought my first home. I lost the house due to my illness and I guess the car was just the final straw, so to speak. I didn't lose the car, but it's gone and I feel like everything I've achieved in life is gone. All because of my stupid body.

    At one point, I did start to get frustrated with my GP and I'm really glad my mom was there. She was recommending a psychiatrist because of situational depression and to have a psychiatrist in place so if I try the lyrica and have the same reaction to neurontin, etc. I told her that just because I suffer from depression doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel the range of normal human emotions. My situation *is* frustrating. I *am* frustrated. Frustrated does not equal depression. And my frustration doesn't not exceed the norm. Most days, it's not even there. It waxes and wanes.

    I told her that if it wasn't for the lexapro and lamictal giving it away, I wouldn't even tell doctors that I have depression because this is what you go through. She said that she knows that I'm not depressed, but she thinks situational depression.... I said, no, this is how I am (I mean, for crying out loud, I had a little over 3 hours sleep and I was in pain - of course I'm not doing cheers). And my mom backed me up. She said when I had the reaction to the neurontin that I called her at 3:30 in the morning after I had called the crisis line and I was really bad. And I was that way for a couple of days. But, then she called me on Thursday and as soon as I answered the phone she could tell that *I* was back. So, what would a psychiatrist do? He would just tell me to stop the lyrica. Which, by the way, I have no intention of taking after my experience with neurontin. My mom said I'm frustrated and have every right to be, but I'm not depressed and that she has seen me depressed; and this isn't it. So, that was very helpful.

    The guy that did the appraisal on my car - which is what made us start to walk out and then they start saying, nooooo, come back - walked me around my car and there was a small amount of paint scraped off the back bumper and some dings in the doors - like where someone had opened a car door into mine. He said that's going to cost a few hundred dollars to fix. That's when I said nuh uh. I told him that they're not going to fix those. You should have seen the look on his face. I said, you didn't fix them on the Celica. They're minor and expected in a car this old. You're not going to fix them so don't try to knock money off the appraisal for them with that excuse. I'm sorry, do I have "Idiot" tatooed on my forehead??? It really offended me and I told him so. And I told him that I had such a good previous experience with this dealership, but that today I was really disappointed. Besides that, we just spent almost $700 on repairs that you would have had to do before you could resell it, so we saved you money. And I mean literally just spent. We got my car from the same company dealership down the road from service and drove it there to be appraised.

    So, it was a very long day. I totally lost track of time and Wynter's tutor had been here an hour before we got home. I don't know why it has to take so long to buy a car. It's just stupid. But, a lot of good things came of it. And my body is absolutely screaming tonight. Way overdid it. BUT, my heated mattress pad is on my bed! So, hopefully that will help.

    I just want my car back. Sigh. This is so silly. I can't even call Devon's old car "my" car yet. You know, I'm not a sentimental person. This really doesn't make any sense.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry that trading in your old car was so hard for you. I totally understand the feelings of loss that it brought out in you. But I am glad you stuck up for yourself with the appraisal guy. I think the appraisal people take classes in how to lie about what they will and will not do.

    I am glad your mom was there to help you. And that she is close to the new sports medicine doctor.

    I am sending big gentle hugs. Rest on that heated mattress pad all you need to! I am going to get my heated blanket put on the bed later today (will require substantial cleaning to find the cords!

    Take it easy today, yesterday was a big day.

  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Heather, please don't be offended but I'd like to offer you what my neuro doctor told me on Tuesday. "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all."

    Good thing I have a sense of humor, even of late.

    Sorry things are taking such a downward spiral. There are days we should not be let out of our cages. ;)
  6. cadydid

    cadydid New Member

    I totally understand about the car thing.. I was like that with my old Saturn when I had no choice but to let it go when it hit 200,000 miles. I still miss it to this day. It got better gas mileage than my new car, and it was a manual vs. an automatic that my car is now.

    Gentle hugs and good thoughts go your way. I hope today is better than yesterday for you.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I don't know whether to send you hugs or stand back 10 feet while you put a car appraiser in his place. MY WORD I would have loved to have been there and watch you work. I'm just in awe of your car buying skills. I als know how it feels to have the same car for - forever. Mine is 18 years old. It's falling apart, and I have no negotiation skills as I have never bought a car from a dealer, but I know I'm going to have to be looking soon.

    I'm taking notes on how to tell these guys I know what they are doing - thanks for that! And the fact that SOMEHOW - YOU managed to get your son that car of his dreams. OH...I am really happy for my cyber nephew. I am very proud of you.

    As far as the medical situation? I'm just your cyber friend and it infuriates me how you are treated and (nodding in agreement) if you even MENTION that you are on antidepressants? You DO receive different treatment. You go from "we can talk about anything how are you?" to "Oh that one in exam room 3 - :faint: depression...shhh." You're right - I got the exact same treatment.

    Do you think you would be able to take Methadone for pain control? DF has been taking it for years. We're not happy about the prospect of a morphine pump. He's been fighting it.

    It was refreshing to see that your GP at least was on your side about the jerky pain mgmt. jerk. That had to make you feel a little bit better. I know you weren't kidding when you wrote about his treatment and his demeanor - because DF lives that every month with the jerk they sent him too. That man has no heart - at all. No sensitivity for ANYONE hurting. He's very numb to anyone else's plight. Doesn't make YOU feel good when you go in and he's so nonchalant about your pain. As if you'll just heal or you won't - if you won't you'll be in pain and if you're in pain you'll hurt. End of visit - $30 coppay please. See you in a month.

    So here's some hugs for loosing your old car, a toast to you and your NEW car - may it grow on you. And super huge smiles to see Devon get a dream fulfilled via his fantastic Mom. YOU GO GIRL!
  8. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Star -

    Honestly, the best tactic to use when dealing on a car is silence when they come up with something that you know you aren't willing to go for. If you're not talking, it makes them nervous. Actually, if you start to walk out and they stop you and they keep trying to negotiate, but still aren't hitting your numbers - that's the best time to use silence.

    I confronted the appraisal guy because it was obvious what he was doing and what he was saying were flat out lies. It ticked me off that they were knocking off money on the appraisal for things that 1) weren't going to be fixed and 2) wouldn't stop anyone from buying the car and 3) we had just spent the money doing the repairs that they would have had to do anyway. They thought they had easy money - low appraisal on my car and sell it for $1200 more and no expense on getting the car ready for resale other than detailing. Nuh uh.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I really am taking notes. Thanks for the info. I do not know a single thing about buying a car. I know how to fix them - but I dont' want to.