A mess of a day! There was a fly...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dara, Aug 14, 2007.

  1. Dara

    Dara New Member

    Sammy has a week and a half off of school. He never deals with that change very well. Yesterday was fantastic. We had a playdate things were great. Today is a whole different story. It took me 40 minutes to get him out of the crib, and yes he is still in the crib, will not sleep in the bed. The dr says leave well enough alone because he is climbing into the crib not out. Anyways, we had the entire morning of screaming kicking hitting himself, the whole nine. We would have about 10 good minutes in every hour. 11am rolls around and I decide hey lets get out of here for a bit and go out to lunch. Can we say DISASTER!! We get in the car and a fly flies in. Sammy who loves bugs goes crazy. He is freaking out about the fly. IT touched him. I explained that a fly is a nice bug. IT doesnt bite it gives tickles and buzzes. I am chasing this stupid thing all around the van trying to get it out. I am even in the trunk. Needless to say I though I got it and off we went. We were barely down the street and apparantly the fly was still there. He was freaking out! I had to pull over and try and get it and every time I got the stupd thing out, it would fly back in! So home we went. I tried to cook noodles, he isnt so good when we are cooking andhe ate a bit and after more screaming and tantruming Sammy is now in the crib at 12:30. I dont know if I can take much more of this!
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Agh, I hate flies in the car too....hoping the afternoon goes better.....
  3. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Oh Dara! What a trying day for both of you! I'm so very sorry!!! :::hugs:::
  4. Mrs Smith

    Mrs Smith New Member

    LOL! I remember those days well - totally exhausting! Mine had the fly phobia too. Same scenario in the car. I can laugh about it now but at the time it was a real pain.

    Hope the rest of the week goes smoothly!
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    40 minutes to get him out of the crib?? I would have left him in there. What was he doing in there? Crying to get out and then refusing to get out? Was he not ready to come out? If not, I would let him play in there until he is ready.

    The fly thing, I get. I do not like to be trapped with bugs. Outside is fine, there is a big world and it is big enough for me and all the bugs, but not in my house or car. LOL!

  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh girl.............can we say valium?????????? LOL

    Hang in there!
  7. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I need some sort of vice. I dont really have one at this point. Anyone got any good ideas?
    The crib thing, I left his room multiple times tolet him chill out it just kept continuing on and on and on... He also had a stinky diaper that we needed to change..that was fun too! I was half crying and laughing at the fly incident. I was so exhauseted at that point! It will be interesting to see what happens when he wakes up from nap. His therapist has called 2 times to check on us and is calling a little later. He is also stunned by this drastic change in behavior. I hate days like this. Only 7 more days until school starts!
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yoga? I figure if you need a getaway - you can do that anywhere once you know it.
  9. Dara

    Dara New Member

    We did get out tonight and saw Rush in concert. It was great. Hot outside but a great show so now I feel a little better! Hopefully tomorrow will be much better than today!
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Dara, you mentioned "drastic change in his behaviour" - could you be specific? You've got me worried...

    The fly thing - difficult child 1 was terrified of animals - ANY animals. Except, as he got a little older, birds. They were the key to unlock his phobia.

    Nothing you can do about something so disruptive, except support him. We'd be at the beach playing and someone would go past walking their dog. difficult child 1 would get hysterical and the dog owners would get defensive, or rude, because this kid was panicking at the sight of THEIR dog (not allowed on the beach during summer daytime, but who obeys THAT law?). People would say, "Don't try to shield him from the dog, he's got to get used to seeing a dog, the world is full of dogs." Or they'd say, "How did you manage to fill that kid with so much fear? Get a life!"

    Some people really don't WANT to understand. And of course, we had no idea there was anything wrong with difficult child 1, we were as baffled as others. He'd never had an incident with a dog that we knew of, he was as bad with kittens or newborn puppies. Anything furry, now I think about it. I don't remember any problem with small lizards or bugs, although he was always nervous around them.

    We were on holiday in Greece when he was 6 and a bee flew into the car. The kids were apprehensive about the risk of being stung and easy child was telling the bee, "Shoo! get out of the car!" and difficult child 1 said, "Don't be silly, it's a Greek bee, it doesn't understand English!"

    About not wanting to get out of the cot - you've done everything suggested, Dara, and he's still not ready. if this means you have to wait until he's being toilet-trained, or he's too big to fit, then so be it. He can't stay in the cot forever, one day he will realise he's outgrown it.

    If it's the sense of being confined and feeling safe, what about a mosquito net? The kind you hang from a hoop in the ceiling? Or a home-made canopy? Ikea has some interesting things in this line as well, like a mini-tent that goes over a toddler bed. Do you have Ikea near you? If so, take him there to see how he reacts to the kiddie furniture. He might find something there that rings his bells. And from my experience, ringing his bells is a GOOD thing.

  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Dara I am doing the fly thing as well!!! I am so sorry... I have had the same exact thing happen I couldn't tell you how many times. We have it happen everywhere!!! While N can now touch dogs!!! The bugs are still pretty bad...
    hang in there this can't last forever, can it???
  12. Dara

    Dara New Member

    The thing about the fly is that up until that very moment in the car, Sammy has loved bugs. I dont know what happened. There was no incident before the freak out in the car.
    I honestly can say I feel like I am living with a maniac. I dont know what we are going to do. This never seems to get better. We have a month or so of good times but we always come back to this and this time it is so much worse. I cannot look, talk to or try to interact with Sammy at all. Only Daddy. Today, husband was home too. Sammy loves to play upstairs and decide which room we are all going to play in. I was not "allowed" in the room. If I tried to stay or even come in, Sammy went crazy. He hit me, kicked me, Screamed "GO AWAY MOMMY". The thing is, it has been like this for me for a long time, 2 years to be exact. Nobody can figure out why. Even if it is just me and Sammy, I will try and sing with him or play with him and he will say "no, no,only daddy likes that or does that" I cant take him anywhere by myself when he gets like this. I feel like the worst mom on the planet. Whose toddler doesnt want to be with their mom unless they are doing something wrong? All of the kids in his class come and hug me when they see me, why doesnt my own son? I really dont know how much more of this I can take. It is tearing me up inside! Nobody can figure out what to do. No behavior modification works. We always end up right back here. Nobody knows WHY his behavior is so extreme. HE doesnt fit into any category. He is amixture of many but his behavior is so extreme for me specifically but husband too. If it were for everyone and everywhere they said it would make more sense but his behavior is almost flawless for the outside world that people think we are crazy when we talk about Sammy and how he is at home! To add insult to injury, I have a sprained ankle that has no chance of healing at this rate! I just need the hope of that it is going to get better but at this point, after going through this for 2 years and no real improvements with behavior, I have a hard time believing in any hope.
  13. Mrs Smith

    Mrs Smith New Member

    My son used to attach certain activities to specific people too. We used to push a little to get a new person into the activity to expand his rigid, repetitive play. He was agitated at first and would refuse but eventually he came around - as long as it was under his control. Maybe he'll let you watch for a while and then Dad could suggest a way for him to include you in somehow.

    Is there autism in the mix?
  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Well not every kid fits neatly into a package. And he is young. His diagnosis can change several times before adolescence.

    Do not take it personal, his not wanting you around has nothing to do with you being a bad mother. It has to do with his wiring. He is wired differently, and in his mind, things need to occur in a certain fashion. He needs to be in control of that, or at least at this tender age he believes he has to be in control of it.

    As far as the fly goes, that fly could have simply caught him off guard. That in itself could have been enough to set him off. He could have had the reaction because how DARE he be outsmarted by a fly. And the best that his brain could come up with is, get this fly out of here, I don't want it here. I am oversimplifying it, but that is just an idea.
  15. Dara

    Dara New Member

    That is too funny! Being outsmarted by a fly! I can totally see Sammy thinking that! :rofl:
    There is no Autism in his diagnosis for now. In the beginning we thought that it was but where we are now, it isnt Autism. I know logically not to take these things personally but having to stay on the side lines and watch everyone else get to have fun with him makes me crazy because I want to have fun with him too.
    He definitely is wired differently! I affectionalty call him quirky! I must go to bed to see what awaits me tomorrow! I just need some medical profesional to say I know what this is or I know how to help you here. No one has said that. No one has any idea what to do for us now! I just need that little bit of hope to make me feel like things can get better!