ADHD,Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or bipolar or what, I need help please!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Mountain king, May 27, 2015.

  1. Mountain king

    Mountain king New Member

    Right its hard to get all the info here as there is so so much but I will try to give a brief run down.
    My daughter is 10 and a half. She has many problems at the moment and we are struggling to get the help she needs.
    She is currently under mental health care, they have said she has selective mutism and social anxiety due to neglect from her father when she was little. (5 mths to 3 yrs, he had visits, I have custody) She is currently taking fluxocine.
    the problem we are having is that she seem to be getting worse. She has been seen by these doctors for 2 and half years and we are not much better off. I realise there are No quick fixes but more behaviours are occurring.
    At the moment we are dealing with daily tantrums, these can be over small details such as the wrong socks for school, ponytail is too high. She is very irritable, grumpy, doesn't want to go anywhere - school, her after school activities that she loves. She is never happy, always sees the negative in things.
    While nothing has changed in her life, she has recently started wetting in her room, she still wets as night, always has, but now she sits on her bed and wets, wets in the evening in bed before going to sleep, wets in the closet, a cup and has also started pooping in her room. When I ask her why she says I don't know.
    She does not care about consequences ever. Not that I punish her for doing that, but as a normal thing. She doesn't care about rewards either.
    She doesn't talk to many people, has no friends at school, doesn't know how to communicate with other children her age.
    She also is easily distracted, and has poor concentration, eg she can't sit and watch a whole movie.
    As well she also is obsessed with eating food, she will hunt the whole house down looking for food to eat, I have to lock food away.
    She's quiet at school, so while she is behind in her work they don't see a major problem .
    She has been doing play therapy for the last 6 months but that didn't help as the doctor said she only repeated the same play.
    There are many many other things, too many to mention, but when I googling wetting and pooping, childhood bipolar came up and I see so many similarities with those characteristics, and her grandfather had bipolar as well.
    I am so so tired and over all the struggles, no one seems to understand how hard it is.
    Any help would be wonderful, thanks.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If you live in the U.S. there are many resources for autistic children. How old is she? Is ehe getting any interventions?
    I'm not convinced therapy helps kids with autism.
    If you're in the US, has she had a neuropsychologist evaluation as this is very comprehensive and will point out all levels of function to her school. Please, before you jump on the childhood bipolar wagon, have her tested. There is no real way to test for bipolar in children and it does not cause speech and communication problems. The inappropriate wetting and pooping can be characteristic of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) though.

    Short answer: Evaluate other than from school. Go to the big guys, not a therapist.
     
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    He had visits, not shared custody? and they are saying "due to neglect from her father"?

    There are SO many possible explanations for her behavior... and I suspect she is a complex case, where there is more than one layer of diagnosis involved. But that statement I quoted stands out to me the most. Were her visits with him supervised? How much time did she spend with him? Is he still in her life at all? I hate to even raise this as a possibility, but... any chance at all that she was sexually abused when with him? If it happens in those early years, the kid doesn't really have any way to communicate the problem, except to act out.

    What kind of doctors is she seeing now? Pediatricians? or specialists, and in what areas?
     
  4. Mountain king

    Mountain king New Member

    Thanks for replies. I am in New Zealand. This is the only help we have been offered, there is only the one childhood mental health unit where we live.
    I do think she has some traits of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and add etc, but for instance she does want to make friends, she can have eye contact, she just doesn't know what to do with people.
    She also is very immature for her age.
    Her father is not in her life any more as a court ordered physicatrist deemed him to not know how to look after her basic needs. Visits were initially surprised as he was violent to me and in front of children, I have a son who has add and is high functioning Aspergers as well.
    Visits were for 48 hours unsupervised from 2 ish.
    After reading lots the possibility of sexual abuse did come up in reference to the inappropriate wetting, it's a hard one, I don't think but you never completely know for sure.
    They want to test her for autism but yesterday after fusing to leave the house and Us having to chase her and physically put her in car they said they can't as she won't talk.
    The reason I questioned bipolar is because of family history and when I have read up on adhd, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), odd etc while she does tick some boxes it is not all of them whilst with the characteristics of bipolar it seems like they are talking about her. It's so hard as I just don't feel we are getting anywhere.
    Oh and 'us' refers to myself her mum and her nana.
    She is currently under the care of two physiologists and a physicatrist. Thanks
     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Really?
    Then how do they diagnose non-communicating Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids - the ones with NO verbal skills? Sorry. Either they don't know what they are doing, or they are giving you the runaround.

    Is there a children's hospital or teaching hospital anywhere within reach? Any way to get referred there for evaluation?
     
  6. Mountain king

    Mountain king New Member

    This is the only children's mental health unit in our city that we are eligible for as the others are for different suburb zones to ours. We were referred here from our children's hospital. I do feel like we have been given the run around. All the doctors did yesterday was stare and look a bit stunned, but there isn't anywhere else to go. Very frustrating. It's like they have a set guidelines to follow and as we are not following it they can't/won't do anything. Over the past two years the only other help suggested has been to go to a parenting course and as much as I explain that these arent parenting problems they are behavioural problems they act like its my fault because I'm not conforming. ( I have completed a parenting course in the past just not the one they want me to do)
    I really feel like there are many more things going on with my daughter, and I don't know how much longer we can continue like this, it is so so tiring getting her to do things everyday, all day. After the visit yesterday she pooped in her room, was extremely hyper all evening, didn't go to sleep until after 1am, today has refused to get out of bed and go to school, just lay there under the covers and wouldn't move until 1 pm. She just said I'm not going.
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Autism is not a behavior or a psychiatric problem It is a neurological difference. Do you have any help there just for autism?
    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time trying to guide your daughter to adulthood. And grateful to live in the U.S. where we have so many services, but that sure doesn't help you. Wish I could.
     
  8. Mountain king

    Mountain king New Member

    Thank you. I wish we had more help here as well.
    Her Psychologist has said there would be more help available if she was diagnosed with autism, and we do agree she seems to have some of the traits, but because she wouldn't talk yesterday for the ados? Test we will need to try again and i have no idea what will be happening in the meantime. Her nana and I have to meet with another one of her Psychologists next week, she is there to support us with parenting so will see the I guess. My son who is also on the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) spectrum as well as Auditory Processing Disorders (APD), adhd, and similar things only has medication for support. As you can image with his sensory issues esp to noise, and my daughter who overacts at the drop of a hat and screams, it means situations can get out of hand very quickly.
     
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    No occupational therapy? No social skills classes? No autism-related social gatherings? School assistance? Anything??

    medications are not "support". medications can, in some situations, create a bit more stability so skills can be learned - but there are no medications for developmental differences such as Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (or even Auditory Processing Disorders (APD)).
     
  10. Mountain king

    Mountain king New Member

    Nope, no therapy, no social skills classes, we haven't been offered anything. He was approved for a trial of an fm radio hearing system and it was wonderful for 3 months, then it was taken away as they said he wasn't severe enough and the funding was needed elsewhere. The medication for my son means he can actually concentrate and learn things that he wouldn't be able to do without it, but it's not a fix it all. I didn't realise NZ was so lacking in these areas. The only social activity I have been able to find was an overnight camp - can't see any problems there ! And another one where they cost was so high that I couldn't afford it.
    Definitely feel a bit helpless. I think the biggest problem with my children is that because they are quiet, and don't cause trouble at school, the slip under the radar.
     
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    That is a problem HERE too. (I'm not in the US either)

    Sometimes it is related to a specific school division or medical community, and moving "can" help. But only if you KNOW the grass is actually greener over there.

    Do you have an Autism society there? Sometimes they can help navigate the system.
    Or a children's advocate?
    Or a mental health association?
     
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