An update on Nichole

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Sep 4, 2010.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    *knocks on wood*

    That done.......lol.........she is doing wonderfully. :D

    I truly believe in that whole "everything happens for a reason" thing, seen it play itself out too many times to doubt it, even if it takes years to come full circle.

    Since the bff's husband disaster, she and her boyfriend have been working hard on keeping their relationship on an adult level, talking things through ect. It has made a world of difference, and on both sides. See a lot more maturity there for both of them and of course Aubrey is reaping the rewards. Never seen her happier. Really horrible way for a wake up call........but evidently just what they needed. Who knows, maybe anything less wouldn't have gotten their attention.

    Change number 2.....Nichole has gone off hormonal birth control. Now I know what you're thinking. lol While she does want another child.....she no longer feels the Rush to do so. (I think that stemmed from trying to hold on to boyfriend, insecurity ect) Both agree that if it happens it happens. Nichole told boyfriend if he doesn't want a child there are condoms and he can use them. No more messing with her hormones.

    This is going to sound odd but thrills me to death. The females in our family do NOT deal with hormonal birth control well. It tends to make us moody as h*ll at best.....and for the vast majority of us can even make us violent and homicidal. I could only take them for a short time.......and seriously had to stop as my reaction is to the extreme, as was my mother's. On edge 24/7 doesn't begin to describe it....on edge and if someone breathed my way I wanted to murder them literally does a better job.......only it was even more intense than that.

    Nichole has always had mood issues, before teen years it could be solved with foods like you would for low blood sugar. Once she started BC I noticed a dramatic shift in intensity.....not to mention what happened during the pregnancy with Aubrey. The depo shot.......omg......although she worked hard at controling her behavior and moods it was a major struggle. On those occasions she'd not take BC or let the shot lapse........her moods stabilized and she was a dramatically different person. I've been trying to get her to use alternate forms of BC since not long after Aubrey was born for this reason.

    She's been off hormonal BC for a while. She is stable. She is fun to be around. No mood shifts....NONE. The girl is happy. boyfriend is happy. Aubrey is thrilled.

    Not saying she is no longer a difficult child by a long shot because well that would be silly. But it is obvious the BC was making things much much worse.

    When I had my reaction years ago the doctor explain there is a very small amt of the population that can't take BC for this reason. The hormones in the pill/shot are enough to throw their own hormones out of whack to the point of making the worse cases psychotic. (that would be me lol) They don't know why it happens with these women, just that it does.

    Nichole has been telling me that she no longer feels like someone is running their fingernails constantly down a chalkboard. That things.......anything big or small......no longer irritate her to the point of utter fury.....she's calm for the first time in a very very long time. I believe her because I see it for myself.

    boyfriend graduated college and has gotten a good job in Dayton, they're moving to a nearby suburb in a good area the 1st of Oct. I can't believe I'm not worried about her moving away. The kids are happy together, are enjoying each other and Aubrey.......and omg I'm enjoying being around her boyfriend. Hahahaha. Really I am.:D:D

    I am sooooooooo riding this wave.:beautifulthing::bigsmile::musicdance:
     
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    HD, I can believe it about the pill because Im another one who simply cant take it either. It made me completely sick so I never tried it when I was lucid enough to actually be able to look at moods...lol. Condoms and I were best friends. Nowadays I would have probably have tried that 5 year IUD but since by the time I had my last wanted child, after the condom broke, we were taking no chances and tied them tubes! If I would have possibly wanted another I think I would have done something else.
     
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so happy for Nichole! And Aubrey, boyfriend, and you too!
     
  4. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    I'm so glad to hear your good update! I hope things continue to go well, you sure deserve some peace! I have a good update on my difficult child as well if I can find time to post it.

    Hugs,
    Jane
     
  5. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Wonderful outcome. Hope Nicole, boyfriend and Aubrey have a wonderful, undramatic, happy life. Congrats to boyfriend for finishing his degree and getting a job. Excellent.
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad things are going so well!! I hope they stay on good terms for the most part for a long time. I hope this means the koi between easy child, sister in law and N is all worked out too.

    Dayton has some nice areas, and I hope they are happy and healthy there!
     
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Great news!
     
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    LOL Susie.........yes the "koi" between sister in law, easy child and Nichole has been worked out for quite some time. easy child decided that a spat between her husband and her sister was not going to come between her and her sister and stepped out of the situation. No one urged, spoke to, anything about the rift between sister in law and Nichole. Nichole was handling it like an adult and refusing to escalate it. Once sister in law calmed down.......well honestly, I think he was feeling bad and ashamed of himself but having a hard time with it. Still no one said anything. Actually no one even made a big deal out of it once we decided was best for those 2 to work it out.

    One day out of the blue sister in law contacts Nichole and asks her to please forgive him, that he was totally wrong and had gone way over the line. Nichole thought at first it was only because easy child had asked him to, but easy child had no clue about it. So Nichole came and asked me what she should do. I simply told her that it wasn't fair for her to expect people to understand that when she gets mad she often says hurtful things she doesn't really mean.........and not be able to forgive sister in law for doing the exact same thing. Yeah, he was wrong, yeah it went way over the line.......and how many times had she done the same only to come to her senses and expect and hope to be forgiven?

    Next thing I know she's accepted his apology and all is right with them again. Those 2 are so much like siblings it can be comical at times. But then Nichole was fairly young when sister in law joined the family. I've noticed a change in sister in law as well. He has discovered that his previous forms of humor were not funny to those people who really care about him and love him. It has stopped. He still can crack a joke, but it's not at the expense of another person.

    Odd thing here too is it has helped how all the kids treat each other.......all of them. Nichole threw a double graduation party for boyfriend and myself over at easy child's house. Offered to help easy child clean and get ready for it. easy child turned down the cleaning but Nichole prepared all the food, stuck around after to make sure everything was cleaned up. Nichole will be moving and sister in law offered his truck as long as they'd pay the gas. Fair because his truck is huge and gas is not cheap. Nichole and boyfriend had already looked into moving vans......and are more than happy to pay his gas.

    I just watch them and smile. I don't say a word. They've stopped taking each other for granted. They've started looking at each other as people instead of just siblings........and they're dragging each other into maturity. lol And like I said......I'm just riding the wave. :rofl:
     
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I love this. I am grinning and getting weird looks from my coworkers, but it's worth it to hear this!!!!!
     
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Okay I'm out of the loop -----froot loops .........so catch me up to speed--0.....

    Is this the boy friend that lived with his parents and was a baby for all these years and controlling over her? And now he's changed? Or is this the boyfriend who was the husband of the best friend that passed away a while back and was controlling that you did not like that showed up at the restaurant? Or is this a different boy friend all together that I missed completely? Sorry - Just trying to catch up. I had no idea that the guy living at home with his parents, a.) moved out b) was going to school and...if it's the former husband of the best friend who passed is he still on your a.) poopie list b.) doesn't he have a boatload of kids?

    Thanks -
     
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Star this is the same boyfriend Nichole has had since she was 15...........yeah the same ol' difficult child controlling one who lived with his parents.......yadda yadda. Well, he'd been going to school all along.........went 2 yrs at community college then did the 4 at wright state. He moved out of his parents house and in with Nichole last sept.

    The whole fiasco with bff's husband was an enormous wake up call for both kids.

    Her boyfriend gave me much reason to respect him when he did not talk bad about Nichole during the incident, nor let anyone else. And believe me he had plenty of opportunity during those weeks. He and I did some talking during that time......things he needed to work on/decide on......things Nichole needed to work on/decide on. Same with Nichole once she began to come back to her senses. Both kids have worked very very hard these past months and the effect is dramatic. They've worked hard on themselves......not at trying to change the other person.......and hard on the relationship itself. Both have done a lot of maturing. Will they make it? Will it last? Who knows. All I know is the old behaviors of both of them I no longer see.......and I see the kids often. I swear I never thought in my life I'd say it was pleasant to be around Nichole and boyfriend together.........but it is these days.

    As for bff's ex.........he's been old news for months. He did try to call Nichole repeatedly and so she tried to have her cell phone number changed.......super cheap phone they wouldn't change the number so she tossed it in the trash and bought a new one. lol
     
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Well then.....this Auntie is pleasantly surprised, and happy for my niece. I'm STILL keeping one eye open on that man-child...(ahem) and you can tell him that too. I do not care. I am watching him like white-on-rice, like skins on a potato, like flies on.....the wall. Yeah that's what I'll be. White on rice. ANYTHING that keeps you happy tickles me pink - seriously - look at MY avatar. Dog-gone-Shari and Mary. Dunkin' Donkeys. I swear - you'd think they had something better to do.

    Huge Hugs. And keep me in your prayers that I find a job in Ohio....and a house and a way there.........OHhhhhhh I want to move soooo bad.
     
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ohhhh Starbie I want you here so baaaaaad!!! And I swear I wouldn't dare dye your donkeys pink. LOL And yeah......am keeping an eye on both kids, most especially boyfriend........cuz we both know the pattern that will follow if all his past garbage was not due to immaturity and being a mega spoiled brat......not to mention difficult child. But also hoping I never see that behavior again.

    And I'm praying my tuckus off you can get here,.

    (((hugs)))
     
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