I'm sorry I keep posting about this junk...its either you guys or pay to talk to the counselor some more (which I'm not against doing...she's just not there when I have these moments!) Anyway, I am sorry for all my garbage. Just gotta put it somewhere to ponder. I was brought up with "do unto others" as basically the foundation for your actions. Look at everything from another's point of view. It occurred to me today, I don't think I've ever seen husband exhibit this sort of thought process. Nor his parents or sister. In fact, when I point out to husband to "what would you do/feel/think if you were in my position?" its like a totally foreign concept to him. Its not something he seems to have ever thought about. And his parents? Super-ditto. The other night we took the kids fishing for a couple hours, and his mom called him 8 times in 10 minutes (me once, but I didn't answer). And he answered all but once, and the once he'd told her he was not answering her call anymore (so she called him from his dad's phone). And she didn't want or need anything - did we have cgfg, the restaraunt we like was closed, the goat was in the shop (she was sitting in our driveway, calling him). Twice he told her "mom, i'm trying to do something here, please just call me later" and her response both times was "but I have something I need to tell you". Absolutely could not let that go. And all of the rift between us...they just can't see past their own selfish selves.... When we had the big blow up about her having cgfg lie to us to hide that stupid game, she just could not see anything wrong with that. In fact, she said if she wanted to pick up HER granddaughter and take her for ice cream, she was going to do just that andn to hades with anyone trying to stop her. Calling and asking to do so was an entirely foreign concept for her. Could he have been raised with a complete lack of regard for any body else? It sure seems his folks have it down pat. Not that it matters in the end, but I am sitting here and can not once think of an incident where they took someone else's point of view into account.... husband still has to change it, tho.