another update on my difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by missy44, Jan 21, 2011.

  1. missy44

    missy44 New Member

    Hi all,
    It's been awhile, and fortunately I don't have too much to update you all on. For those who remember, my difficult child would not our condition of treatment, so I shipped him on a plane to his dad's (3 day drive). I was cautiously optimistic as his dad and i have never seen eye to eye and he left the province when my difficult child was in grade 9. I've always felt this was the beginning of my son's demise. He idolized his dad, but found it too painful to leave me, my husband and his siblings.
    Anyhow, difficult child got a job at a telephone company and guess what??? He still has the job! I'm very proud of him for this. He is still playing for a men's hockey team and purchased himself an old beater of a car and got his license.
    I talk to him often (as long as he's not complaining which he tends to do, typical difficult child) and for the most part he seems to be doing pretty well. He still suffers from depression and is being medicated. This doesn't work very well because 1. he drinks and 2. i really question whether he is bipolar.
    He is not using illegal drugs at this time. I know he did use once (probably more) because he told me that he slipped, but his dad keeps a close eye on the drug use and difficult child knows he would be out the door in a heartbeat.
    He still bases his wellbeing on whether or not he has a female friend in his life, he still in blaming mode for his problems, and he is still completely self centered, but he has improved so much in the past 8 months... More than i could have ever hoped for.
    I know he is still on a slippery fact he asked if he could come home for xmas and I told him a flat out no. It was hard and it was my first xmas without him home, but i just knew that he wasn't ready. Too many outside influences. I just knew that i couldn't handle it. He was upset with me, told me i didn't love him, but he got over it. In fact, this was the best holiday i've had in 3 years. It was peaceful, i spent it with my other 3 children and didn't have to worry if he was drugged out and going to ruin the holiday again (as he'd done for the past 3 years).
    So that's my update. I'm happy for today, I take it one day at a time and consider myself so fortunate. I'm grateful that sticking to my guns seems to be working because I truly worried that I would completely lose him to drugs, jail or worse.
    Thank you all for always being here...A safe place for me to fall....
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I don't know you, but I'm glad to hear your difficult child is doing well.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    "One day at a time" seems to be working for you. I'm glad you've had some happier times and hope that eventually difficult child will be able to share your life in a positive way. Hugs. DDD
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Missy that is a wonderful update. Sounds like difficult child may be finally beginning to grow up. by the way, they're not perfect at it at first lol Hopefully maturity and Dad's influence are kicking in to keep him doing what he needs to do. As he does........he may learn a few things along the way which continue to push him forward.

    Glad your holidays went well and you were able to stay strong.