easy child and Nichole are at odds with one another.........or rather, easy child is at odds with Nichole. Nichole's beef is with sister in law and justifiably so. Nichole tried not to drag easy child into it but easy child seems determined to stay there. ugh! Most of you know easy child and nichole had "words" over the whole mess with bff's husband and nichole thing......so I won't go back into all that. I had to tell both easy child and sister in law to step back away from that situation as it honestly had little to do with them. And because they were making a bad situation much more worse. So that got smoothed over. Nichole had been watching easy child's boys on the weekends and the hour layover from when sister in law goes to work and easy child gets home from work. Other days a babysitter has them. (1 maybe 2 days a wk for babysitter) I knew that easy child was paying nichole to watch the boys. No problem. Then sister in law complained about how much he hated mowing their huge yard although he has a riding mower. Nichole volunteered to do it for a fee. Again no problem. Then easy child and sister in law ask nichole to watch the house and their animals while they go away for a week for vacation. Offer to pay her. She is also supposed to mow the grass while they were away, again with payment. While all this sounds grand for everyone involved............Well let's just say Mom knew it wasn't going to work out that way. I told easy child before she ask nichole to go back to watching the boys that it was time to keep them at the sitter and stop relying on family for the bulk of her daycare. That if she is going to be a working parent she has to accept the fact that her kids will be cared for by non family members. Also at the time nichole was still looking for work and planning to go back to school....But easy child decided she wanted to "help" nichole out so offered the babysitting. So......easy child and sister in law leave on their vacation. easy child at last minute left nichole with items to mail off to her friend who had a baby, gave her the money to do so. Nichole took care of the animals no issues. But it poured here almost the entire week. Then when the yard finally dried out enough she could mow........Nichole discovered sister in law had parked his huge truck right up against the garage door making it nearly impossible for her to get the riding mower out. And she hurt herself doing so. Then so goes to mow the grass and discovers all the gas cans are empty. Now both nichole and her boyfriend are not working. Money is in short supply to say the least. So she said to heck with the lawn, she couldn't mow it without gas anyway. The day easy child and sister in law were coming home evidently sister in law calls her and asks about the lawn. Nichole informed him of the situation and he totally went off on her. Bawled her out, called her named, and told her she was stupid and she should have borrowed the money to mow his grass cuz now he'd have to do it. Now as I said, things had not been going smoothly with this whole deal from the get go. Nichole has had issues with sister in law "playfully" punching her, tormenting her ect. She has had big issues getting easy child to actually give her the money owed her. Not because easy child doesn't have it, but because easy child has no money worries and just doesn't give it a real thought, making nichole beg for money earned. Being invited out to meals and then harassed by sister in law that they are moochers ect. (this is done to everyone not just nichole) It is under the pretense of teasing.......but yeah. Making fun of the family whenever he is around us.......sometimes rather cruel remarks. Well, evidently Nichole had reached her breaking point and let sister in law have it no holds barred. Yet she did NOT take it to the personal levels that were reached during last nosedive into gfgdom. While mad as heck......she did not go to her normal extreme. She did tell sister in law that he could take his lawn and shove it, and that he could watch his own boys because she was done being treated like dirt. At that point......... Well, I do love sister in law, although there are times when he is extremely difficult to love. The guy was taught nothing by his parents. He has no respect for anyone....seriously, and if he does, he has no clue how to show it. He blurts out racist remarks constantly, he says mean and cruel things while "joking" so if you get hurt by it.....well he was just joking. He is rude and ill mannered. To the point where I have to force myself to eat in a restaurant with him. He can never be wrong. He does everything right. Gawd, yeah. But he does have his good points......at the moment I'm having a difficult time seeing them. He wused to be very helpful ect. Now if you ask him to do something he will put it off until you finally find someone else to do it.......or make you feel like **** for asking. Ok so Nichole had had it and let him know it. She was mad, but in my opinion her response was fairly appropriate. At first I didn't agree with her not watching the boys because that puts easy child in a bind......but when she explained to me that it puts her into constant contact with sister in law.......who when she does say something about his behavior to easy child tends to really crank it up and call her a whiney baby........she just didn't want to deal with it anymore. Next thing I know I have a hysterical Nichole calling me. I'm to look at her fb page and see what sister in law wrote. She was livid and deeply hurt. He brought up the whole bff husband thing and said some really nasty things . She wanted to kill him for what he said. And yeah got to say I was running a close 2nd. He'd said it meant to cut like a knife.......totally inappropriate, had nothing to do with what they were arguing about, he just wanted to hurt her and hurt her bad. As you can imagine it esculated for a while. I had easy child calling me in hysterics. Nichole ready to kill........Had to make both girls realize this was between nichole and sister in law not between nichole and easy child. And just as I had them somewhat settled..........sister in law calls me demanding his house key from Nichole and trying his best to drag me into the fight. I ripped him a new one. I was not kind, nor did I hold back. I told him exactly how I felt about his comment to Nichole, that he knew what he was doing when he said it and it was done intentionally. And that he was not going to make me chose sides between my daughters or he's was gonna have momma bear from hades to deal with. And I hung up on him. I have, other than listening to both sides with little or no comments, stayed out of it. It hasn't been easy. But I've done it. easy child is truely a easy child. I'm more proud of her than she will ever know, although I do try to tell her how proud I am of her. Life, other than living with 2 difficult child sibs, has not been overly difficult for her. School came easily, friends came easily, relationships came easily, her career ect while she worked hard for it.....still came farily easily. She has known no real hard times as an adult. She is determined only to see Nichole's faults, she does not let her see the progress the girl has made over the last several years or even the past 2 months. Nichole is always wrong and she is always right. And if I disagree with her, then I'm siding with Nichole or making excuses for her. These 2 girls grew up sharing a room. They should know each others personalities by now. easy child has the heart of gold, wants family and has good intentions even though she doesn't always follow through and sometimes takes advantage unintentionally. She has to have the last word, no matter what. Nichole is one who will tell you how she feels no matter where the chips fall. She can say cruel hurtful things she doesn't mean in an effort for the person to see how strongly she feels. Family is also important to her, it is the end all be all no matter what. I am disappointed in easy child. She is saying she is done with her sister completely. She is siding with her husband although he was completely in the wrong. She has decided that they are the ones being taken for granted ect. Nichole is in the wrong. Nichole is still furious with sister in law and does not want to be around him anymore. She's fed up with his behavior toward her and the family in general. But she is deeply hurt that easy child has cut off everything with her. She's accepted it, but well......dang it to heck it hurts. easy child did not defend her family, and does not when sister in law says the stuff he says,. She didn't step in when sister in law went way over the line in the argument......and it hurt Nichole terribly. While she knows easy child can't change sister in law's behavior.......it would at least be nice to know she objects to it. So Nichole was not invited to the big 4th of july bash easy child throws. husband, travis and I were. I had husband take Travis and drop him off. Neither husband and I were thrilled with the idea of attending. For one I hate huge crowds of people. I don't like fireworks. And I knew both sister in law and easy child would be driving me nuts with how "right" they were and how 'wrong" Nichole is. And frankly, I'd have gone off on them, so was best I stayed home with husband. Nichole's boyfriend posted today he didn't have the best 4th on his fb page. sister in law (who just loves to rub raw wounds) just had to post that of course HE was invited, it was Nichole who wasn't. Grrrrrr. And that just started the whole dang thing up again. Because of course his comment hurt Nichole again.......which is what he fully intended to do. Again easy child calls me tonight to anounce she's done with her sister and the mistreatment by her sister. ugh Ok....yes, Nichole when mad can say hurtful things she doesn't mean. Anyone who knows her knows this and KNOWS it's a defence mechanism and she doesn't MEAN it. And easy child also knows Nichole has been working hard for a very long time to stop this behavior. She is much improved over the way it used to be........one doesn't get well over night. ugh! easy child got a bit miffed at me because I told her she needed to stop taking everything that comes out of Nichole's mouth to heart. And that her hormones right now were murking up the waters. (8 mos preggers) Nichole on the other hand.......is not dwelling on the issue. She has not, other than initially, come to me to discuss the topic. She has attempted to keep easy child out of the middle of it all. easy child just seems determined to step right back into it. Amazes me when it wasn't so long ago easy child was constantly telling me she couldn't take the mean hurtful comments sister in law always made under the pretense of joking and his awful behavior at times that if it is directed at Nichole or the family it is ok....... I don't know where the war is headed. sister in law seems to be watching for opportunity to fan the flames. And while I love the guy, I'm also very disappointed and angry at his behavior. I will not put myself into his presence again until I get an apology for the way he spoke to me the night he called. It isn't just Nichole who has alot of growing up to do and maturity to reach. At 25, soon to be the father of 3 boys it's time he stop acting like an ill mannered 12 yr old. Thanks for letting me vent. I chose to ignore it while on vacation from school because I was determined that it was one break where I was actually going to de-stress for once. ugh Not sure where I was going with it. Just very frustrated at both easy child and sister in law. Nichole is far from perfect.........but this time she was in the right and still got treated like crud from her sister.