Being called an idiot might be a good thing?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Andy, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I talked to K about easy child's involvement with friends who are not helping her to live her own life. K has been working on trying to get easy child to see how her involvement in her friend's life is not healthy for her.

    easy child picked up a girl at difficult child's school. She came in and asked me if I would watch baby L while she took puppy to dog obedience. No problem. Then she said she needed to cancel her plans with K tonight because she had to babysit for baby L. I said, "No, you do not have to babysit. Your plans come first." "But if I don't J will have to stay home and loose his job and then who will watch baby L?" I told her J needs to get a job during the day so he can find day care while at work. I told her that her life is too important to take on the responsibility of caring for a baby for friends who are not looking at her needs. J and any other friend has got to stop using easy child to solve their problems. easy child needs to find a job and an apt far away from these people and start a new life with new friends who will support her dreams and not just call on her when they need something.

    easy child came home at 6:30 without baby L. I said, "You are not babysitting baby L then?" "No" "Why?" "I can't watch her during dog training because you are an idiot."

    I have learned that many times she behaves like this is because she is following my wishes and doing so because she feels I am correct though she will never admit it.

    Of course, she will never know that secretly I am rejoicing when at times like this she calls me a name because for no matter what reason, it is not acceptable. So, easy child gets another month added to, "Don't ask anything of me until you can be nice for me for one month!" and I think I get to claim this as a victory!
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sounds like easy child is getting the idea. Good for her. It can be hard to admit when friends aren't treating you right.

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It certainly IS hard to admit when friends are not treating you well, esp if you have let them get away with a LOT more than is OK.

    Having a mom or dad who is strong enough to insist you not put your life, dreams, and goals on the backburner is a real blessing to a kid, even an almost grown one (esp an almost grown one?) because then you can gritch and moan about how unfair the parent is to your friend and still live up to your dreams.
  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    It is funny when we think being called names is a good thing, isn't it? My daughter has no idea how many times I considered it a victory when I was stupid, mean or a biotch. It told me that she was actually going to follow the rule. For you, you know your message is getting across. Great job!

    And I agree that your daughter is lucky that you insist her life comes first. She may feel guilty if she has to say no on her own but if mom insists, she has an out and can go have fun with no guilt. Good job!
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member


    Wow you have had to truly stay ontop of this ongoing situation. You have great patience and you are correct she is totally getting it now and ofcourse p*ssed at you for being right. Yup I"ve gotten those names as well.

    Good for you for being so strong and not bending and folding due to her continuous pressure and pleas with you on this topic.

    :) good job Mom