Can't wait till the 12th.

[Jody]

Oh this might sound terrible to some, but I cannot wait till the 12th. My difficult child's ticket is purchased for that day. I don't know if I can hold on that long. Things are rough. She's back at home for these 12 days. The neighbor lady threw her out. She broke into my house instead of knocking on the door. I think part of me might miss her but I am not so sure, if she keeps the mouth up, i think it will be real hard to be anything other than relieved. I am almost fearful that they may want to send her home. Do i skip town and go live in a tiny house in the mountains somewhere, to not be located until she's 18. Or do I just refuse her and back to care. So many things running thru my mind.

At the first sign of any irritablity in my voice, she starts screaming, I am trying to get along with you. You are not trying you are being rude. Um she just got done cursing me out for 45 minutes, but that doesnt qualify as rude, she only did that because I made her. Please send me some strength and good thoughts if you can, I am so frazzled with this. i am not taking her to the airport, I am trying to get her older sister can take her. I think I can manage a quick hug and I love you and then close the door and do a great big happy dance. omg, even saying it sounds terrible, but it's really how I feel at this point. Sick of her abuse.

 

[AnnieO]

Nope, sounds reasonable to me!

Then again... I was there, once upon a time, with Onyxx, so I totally get it.

 

[Rabbit]

Sending Hugs.

 

[TerryJ2]

I get it.
I'll have to go back through the old notes to see where she's going ... Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or foster care.
Sorry about the neighbor lady, and difficult child breaking into your house.
I completely understand the "I'm not trying to be rude ... it's your fault part."
Argh.

 

[Bunny]

I get it. It's tough when your own daughter treats you so badly. Sending strength so that you can get through the next 12 days. If she starts get nasty can you just tell her that you have some errands to run and leave her alone?

 

[Jody]

Thanks everyone. Terry, she's going to go live with her Dad's sister in San Diego. I have been alone tonight and after I get away from her I am so happy. I have just been sitting here singing and listening to songs on my computer. Doing things without all the Me me me drama. difficult child drama. ugh, not going to think about it tonight.

 

[BusynMember]

I get it too.

 

[Jody]

today was the worst ever. I picked up difficult child and she attacked me while I was driving again. I am bruised all over my arm and around my neck. People were pulling over. I couldn't due anything but drive straight so that I didn't stop and have some one rear end me. I thought someone would have called my plates in and have been waiting for the police to show up. I did not call them because I have a non refundable ticket for that kid to get on the plane on the 12th. She is now calling me and telling me how sorry she is and that she only has one Mom. I told her not to contact me by phone or by any other way. her sister is taking her to the airport and I don't care to see her for a very long time. Im done. I wouldn't let her take my tablet to her old foster moms for the night. I said I would but then she threw a fit about taking the trash out, and cursed me out and called me names I just can't stand. I didn't say anything to her just grabbed the tablet. She didn't think that was fair so she lashed out. then preceded to try and light a cigarette in my car. I smashed it and thru it out the window. I am sitting here shaking and its been almost two hours ago,. she said die b die. you crazy psycho. Im just in shock and I don't know why. I am going to put some kind of stick ion her bedroom window, cant figure out how shes getting in the house.

 

[Liahona]

I really hope she doesn't get kick out of her aunts house, but if she does are there other options? What would happen if you called the police when she attacks you?

 

[InsaneCdn]

I am going to put some kind of stick ion her bedroom window, cant figure out how shes getting in the house.

She's just randomly showing up at your place?

You need more than a stick in the window. You need a full alarm system. Plus maybe a restraining order etc. but... if she's still officially under your care, how does that work? What will prevent her from running away from her Aunt's place and showing back up where you are? This sounds scary.

 

[Bunny]

Is there a plan in place with your sister-in-law in case she physically attacks people in her home? Does she know what she's getting herself into with your daughter?

 

[Jody]

I am the only person she has ever attacked physically. I have learned over the years about her manipulation, and call her on it and I think that makes her more angry than anything. Her Aunt says she will not argue with her about things. Just consequences, no talking. I hope that works for them both. I have told difficult child if she is sent back from sunny California, she will go directly to fostercare until she is 18.
I have all my windows locked, and I think she was either putting something in the window to make ti not catch or she was just unlocking it when she would come to visit, because I have double checked everything and feel safe with my windows, they are brand new and have excellent locks.

I have called the police almost eveytime she has hurt me, this time I didnt because I don't want them putting her in fostercare, I just want to get her to her Aunts house. One week today.

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

Jody, you have caused me to feel again that dreadful feeling I used to have with my difficult child, and I so sympathise with you. I remember when he used to leave the house I would just sit like a zombie smoking and couldn't do anything at all, just sit. My heart is pounding at the moment -- I suddenly felt that awful feeling again. He was 14 and through his teens we would have this screaming and cursing from the moment he walked into the house and every night until about 3 in the morning, and I never understood why the neighbours didn't call the police. I hope and pray for your sake that this works out with your aunt. When I look back on it I'm not quite sure how we survived (this wonderful support board certainly helped), but we did, and today he is in Australia (his choice). He is 26 so one can't compare, but we lived through many hellish years. He has been there for two and a half years now, and it took me about a whole year before I began to miss him ever so slightly. Until then I was just so thrilled that he had upped and taken himself to the other side of the world!! So yes -- I really do understand where you are at. Hang in there for this one more week, and then you will be able to breathe again.

Love, Esther

 

[DDD]

Jody, you know I've never been there done that but I care for you and am counting the days until you can reclaim your life. DDD

 

[Jody]

Dear Esther and DDD. You two are just great, thank you so much for the kind words, I am doing better, bruises are starting to change color and my arms not as sore. I just can't wait for her to get on the plane. I think it will be awhile before I miss her. Though I am wishing that things were different. Wishing that I could have three more years with a more normal situation. I do love having kids in my life. I have decided that I will do something for the little kids next door for Christmas. They don't have much and come and talk to me and pet Broady everyday. I am excited about a life where I don't get up and have major difficult child drama. and don't like to dread going home. So now I have a three bedroom mobile home all by myself. I am making an office and room that is going to have plants and pretty lights. The other room is just going to be a spare bedroom, for when easy child comes to visit. I would really like to start doing a few things with her and for her. And I think I might look for a part-time job, like one day on the weekend answering phones somewhere. That would help me with the money that I am losing from difficult child's social security.