Steely
Active Member
Well, I am feeling quite sad tonight, as it has become completely evident that difficult children dad refuses to talk to him. As difficult child says,
"I am trying hard not to believe that my dad is simply blowing me off." But yet, I am afraid that is exactly what he is doing.
As some of you may remember, difficult children dad has been absent for the most part of the last 12 years. About 9 months ago he reappeared as "super-dad", and tried to swoop in and convince difficult child he was the most amazing dad ever. I waited it out for about 6 months, but after "super-dad" disappeared for weeks on end, I pressed charges for the 10K he owes in past child support. Right as I did this, and the charges were still unknown to "super-dad" - he swooped in - wooed difficult children with lies and promises - filled his head with hope - and they became best buddies for 2 more months. Once the charges hit, "super-dad" pulled a horrible stunt with difficult child and told him all of these lies about me, gave him alcohol, and filled my son to the brim with bile and hate. From this point on, I told "super-dad" that he could only have visitation at my house........which brings me to the present.
"Super-dad" called every day last week, each time promising to come over the next. Each day, no phone call, until late at night, where he proceeded to make up a lie as to why he did not come over - but "he would be over the next day". My son, completely in awe of his "super-dad", refused to leave the house last week, every day, because "Mom! My dad is going to call and then come over". He was like a sad puppy, sitting by the phone all day - he would only go outside in the yard, and only if the phone was in his pocket.
So, this past Sat "super-dad" called to say he would have a "big father son day tomorrow - so difficult child should get ready!" Noon rolled around, no phone call. difficult child called him - no answer. difficult child must have called 30 times Sunday, no answer. Some times his phone would be off, sometime busy, sometimes he got the answering machine, sometimes not - so you knew he was there. difficult child left the saddest messages - "Dad......Pleeeeeze call me, I thought we were doing something today!" Achhhh.......breaks my heart! Monday, today, same thing - no answer, nothing. I mean who does this to their worst enemy, let alone a kid who he knows thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread? It makes me sick.
I know this is long - and I appreciate all you have hung in there with me for this post - but I am so disgusted over this. I am trying so hard to detach, and remember that this is not my problem but difficult children....... and that he is 16 and he can take care of himself - but when someone hurts your kid like this, especially the man that helped bring them into this world, it is almost more than one can watch. I just feel heart broken for my child........he deserves so much more! He has enough problems with his illness, and the consequences he has inflicted upon himself because of that illness, that he does not need his parent, his supposed male role model, to inflict complete rejection and abandonment upon his soul. It is just heartbreaking.........and renders me capable of some heinous thoughts towards "super-dad".
"I am trying hard not to believe that my dad is simply blowing me off." But yet, I am afraid that is exactly what he is doing.
As some of you may remember, difficult children dad has been absent for the most part of the last 12 years. About 9 months ago he reappeared as "super-dad", and tried to swoop in and convince difficult child he was the most amazing dad ever. I waited it out for about 6 months, but after "super-dad" disappeared for weeks on end, I pressed charges for the 10K he owes in past child support. Right as I did this, and the charges were still unknown to "super-dad" - he swooped in - wooed difficult children with lies and promises - filled his head with hope - and they became best buddies for 2 more months. Once the charges hit, "super-dad" pulled a horrible stunt with difficult child and told him all of these lies about me, gave him alcohol, and filled my son to the brim with bile and hate. From this point on, I told "super-dad" that he could only have visitation at my house........which brings me to the present.
"Super-dad" called every day last week, each time promising to come over the next. Each day, no phone call, until late at night, where he proceeded to make up a lie as to why he did not come over - but "he would be over the next day". My son, completely in awe of his "super-dad", refused to leave the house last week, every day, because "Mom! My dad is going to call and then come over". He was like a sad puppy, sitting by the phone all day - he would only go outside in the yard, and only if the phone was in his pocket.
So, this past Sat "super-dad" called to say he would have a "big father son day tomorrow - so difficult child should get ready!" Noon rolled around, no phone call. difficult child called him - no answer. difficult child must have called 30 times Sunday, no answer. Some times his phone would be off, sometime busy, sometimes he got the answering machine, sometimes not - so you knew he was there. difficult child left the saddest messages - "Dad......Pleeeeeze call me, I thought we were doing something today!" Achhhh.......breaks my heart! Monday, today, same thing - no answer, nothing. I mean who does this to their worst enemy, let alone a kid who he knows thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread? It makes me sick.
I know this is long - and I appreciate all you have hung in there with me for this post - but I am so disgusted over this. I am trying so hard to detach, and remember that this is not my problem but difficult children....... and that he is 16 and he can take care of himself - but when someone hurts your kid like this, especially the man that helped bring them into this world, it is almost more than one can watch. I just feel heart broken for my child........he deserves so much more! He has enough problems with his illness, and the consequences he has inflicted upon himself because of that illness, that he does not need his parent, his supposed male role model, to inflict complete rejection and abandonment upon his soul. It is just heartbreaking.........and renders me capable of some heinous thoughts towards "super-dad".