difficult child-I'm always hopeful

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by upallnight, Nov 14, 2010.

  1. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    But I'm always let down.
    I have to vent. Everything he says is a total lie, and about nothing really. This morning he called here laughing, his car was being towed for not being registered, (isn't that funny?) and it's all the cop's fault!!!

    He always needs money, and we don't have any, husband is a carpenter and there isn't much work for him right now. So, difficult child always calls us with a hard luck story- and we pay him to do chores, yardwork and stuff like that. He needs money for bills. But, we can't really afford to hire him and we have a easy child who work for free, he lives here, he does chores, so difficult child isn't really needed.

    Anyway, difficult child always has money for beer and partying (his priorities), can never pay his rent, and hasn't paid for registration. We're detatching from this bs, because the money doesn't go for what it's supposed to go to. He's a total scam artist, telling us lies constantly. I can't even begin to tell you about this, you can imagine.

    Then difficult child was bragging yesterday, showing us where he got tasered (!) for charging at a cop while he was running around in his underwear, outside, drunk! He was so happy all he got was a fine. difficult child has had so many fines in his life, why doesn't he ever learn???? He's 23, all I can say is, I'm so glad he doesn't live here.
     
  2. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh I know all too well where you are coming from. I will say that eventually all that stupid stuff will catch up with him and the cops will do something and the courts will do something. It may take awhiel and a number of stupid things but they don't put up with stupid stuff forever. My son really thought the legal system and the court system was a joke. Every time he got arrested they told him they could revoke his bail and put him in jail... then they didn't. So he didn't believe them..... until he ended up in jail for two weeks. Now he believes them.. So your son may have to learn the hard way. Sounds like you are doing a good job detaching and yeah don't hire him and don't give him any more money.
     
  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad your son learned a lesson. I always think my difficult child will learn from his mistakes, but he doesn't. I don't think he sees his behavior as wrong. I try not to even think about what he's doing when he's not here. It's too upsetting...and yeah, the well's dried up.
     
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Yeah but it took two weeks in jail for him to learn his lesson. Going to court several times didn't do it. Spending one night in jail because we didn't bail him out didn't do it. Being bored to death, locked in a cell 20 hours a day that might have done it. But we will see, he is in rehab right now hopefully really learning more. But time will tell.

    I don't know why for some kids they don't learn things the first time. My son always, ever since he was little would do things over and over before he would understand it was wrong or at least that he would get in trouble.

    He at least seemed to think he could do whatever he wants to do.... hopefully now he has really gotten that just isn't true.

    Muggsie
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    My husband used to lie just for the sake of lying for years and years. He still does on occasion. Fortunately he stinks at it and I can spot a lie a mile away. Still it's aggravating as most of the stuff he lies about is stupid and their isn't even reason to lie about it. He did it for ages and ages with mother in law to weedle money out of her by gaining her sympathy. I think it actually became a habit from that. Can drive me insane if I'd let it. (I can't stand people who lie) But I just smile and do the bobble head and ignore it.

    If you don't have the spare cash, then I'd let easy child do the chores and let difficult child worry about difficult child. Then perhaps it all won't seem like such a big joke to him.

    (((hugs)))
     
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hound Dog- I do the smile and nod, too. There's no point in calling him on the lies, because he just tells another one and it's pointless. He's not doing any more chores here that's for sure.

    The funny thing is that when easy child does chores, he does them right, without all the complaining and he's fine with it. difficult child is just 100% difficult child doing chores.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yup. Was always the same with husband. If I call him on a lie..........even a teeny weeny white fib.........then I get more tenfold. Simpler to just smile and nod and ignore it.

    Unfortunately Katie has this same personality trait. I'd hoped she'd outgrown it. I've seen since she's been here she hasn't. *sigh* So again, I just do the bobble head thing and let the chips fall wherever. lol
     
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