BusynMember
Well-Known Member
This hopefully lighthearted and non-judgmental thread will just toss around ideas. I think about this a lot now because my grandson is spending half the time with my son and half the time with his mother and her new boyfriend. I wonder if there is really stability when you are thrown back and forth from dad to mom, especially when they don't really like one another. Which makes me think of divorce (aha! More Retro) when I was growing up. Heck, if kids had divorced parents they were embarassed and tried to hide it and my mother always told me never to bring it up in front of the child.
Now jump to 2013, no fault divorce, and some 20's kids saying, "Well, if I don't end up liking him, I'll just get divorced" about their intended. Or those, like Julie, who isn't sure she doesn't want to marry her SO, but has been with him for ten years and wants to have children with him. I worry if all this is makiing even more difficult children than before. And if this is one reason why. I know my first three kids, who saw divorce, also saw tons more problems in their young lives. I do think the divorce between me and ex contributed to it. And I see Sonic and Jumper, who never saw a divorce, much better adjusted, more stable, and really nice people. Jumper only has one friend whose parents have stayed intact 100% through the child's young lifetime. That child is also very well adjusted.
I personally feel the divorce laws are too lax (I'm old fashion this way). No-fault divorce means anyone can just get up and leave, like 35's ex did, and almost be rewarded for it, but the child suffers. You don't have to try and there are no consequences for breaking up the family. In the case of physical abuse and even mental abuse, I get it, but often it's just that somebody found somebody else. I would like to see a little accountability on the part of the person who was responsible for a marital breakup. Now it seems like nobody really stays married anymore. And I do feel it impacts the children a lot. I'm not sure Julie would have gotten into drugs if there had been no divorce. She wasn't a rebellious kid...she just felt lonely and lost after the divorce, didn't like being moved around, and had no friends in her knew neighborhood and the rest is history.
What is your opinion? Please...let us not bash people who have been divorced or who have stayed together. Heck, let's not bash at all, we're all friends here My opinion is just my opinion and not right or wrong and yours is also yours. I'm just curious about this issue because I don't remember as many wild children when I went to school. Certainly nobody would back talk a teacher and most kids did want to please their parents (there were usually two of them). When I saw it change was when the old rules fell apart in the late 60's and the parents became as wild as the kids!!!!
You?
Now jump to 2013, no fault divorce, and some 20's kids saying, "Well, if I don't end up liking him, I'll just get divorced" about their intended. Or those, like Julie, who isn't sure she doesn't want to marry her SO, but has been with him for ten years and wants to have children with him. I worry if all this is makiing even more difficult children than before. And if this is one reason why. I know my first three kids, who saw divorce, also saw tons more problems in their young lives. I do think the divorce between me and ex contributed to it. And I see Sonic and Jumper, who never saw a divorce, much better adjusted, more stable, and really nice people. Jumper only has one friend whose parents have stayed intact 100% through the child's young lifetime. That child is also very well adjusted.
I personally feel the divorce laws are too lax (I'm old fashion this way). No-fault divorce means anyone can just get up and leave, like 35's ex did, and almost be rewarded for it, but the child suffers. You don't have to try and there are no consequences for breaking up the family. In the case of physical abuse and even mental abuse, I get it, but often it's just that somebody found somebody else. I would like to see a little accountability on the part of the person who was responsible for a marital breakup. Now it seems like nobody really stays married anymore. And I do feel it impacts the children a lot. I'm not sure Julie would have gotten into drugs if there had been no divorce. She wasn't a rebellious kid...she just felt lonely and lost after the divorce, didn't like being moved around, and had no friends in her knew neighborhood and the rest is history.
What is your opinion? Please...let us not bash people who have been divorced or who have stayed together. Heck, let's not bash at all, we're all friends here My opinion is just my opinion and not right or wrong and yours is also yours. I'm just curious about this issue because I don't remember as many wild children when I went to school. Certainly nobody would back talk a teacher and most kids did want to please their parents (there were usually two of them). When I saw it change was when the old rules fell apart in the late 60's and the parents became as wild as the kids!!!!
You?