do you tend to see disorders in others?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ctmom05, Jul 22, 2010.

  1. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    Any thoughts on the possibility that we can be quick to jump to a diagnosis conclusion when we see someone(stranger, friend, family member, self) behave a certain way because of the parenting experiences we have had?
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Good question... I don't think I am so much quick to jump to conclusions exactly as to do research on the symptoms.

    on the other hand, the doctor doesn't think my boy's even remotely close to aspie, but I see the signs all over; the doctor has insinuated that my girl might be bipolar, but even rapid-cycling doesn't cycle THAT FAST!

    ...And husband and father in law definitely qualify for ADD...
  3. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure it's so much jumping to conclusions as it is seeing symptoms that other people may miss.

    I taught school for many years and after I had my difficult children and came here with all of you and became educated on so many disorders, when I saw kids exhibiting some of these behaviors, instead of just thinking they were rotten kids I was sometimes able to see (what I thought was) a little deeper.. I still saw rotten behavior after I knew a little more but when it was a PATTERN of their behavior I began to see tendencies toward certain disorders. I am a teacher, not a psychiatrist or a doctor, so I would never suppose that I could actually diagnose those conditions but when I was asked for my opinion I could certainly do a better job of telling what I was seeing and I sometimes went so far as telling my opinion of what MIGHT be the problem.

    I do think we need to be careful of seeing certain things and assuming we know what is "wrong" with somebody. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing but, used correctly, it can also put us on the path to understanding.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    After dealing with Miss KT and Hubby, doing my own research, and hanging around this wonderful board, I find that I'm much more aware of potential "issues." Being a substitute teacher, it's given me different ways of handling situations and because of that, I've managed to avoid meltdowns. The semester class on classroom management taught me nothing compared to the wealth of info I've found here.

    It would be much easier if the teachers would just leave a note detailing the child's disorder, and the best ways to handle that child, rather than let me guess, and possibly setting someone off unknowingly and unintentionally.
  5. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I tend to diagnose everyone in my mind. Not that I would ever say anything or think that I actually can diagnose.
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm like KTMom.... I tend to use what I've learned here when I work as a sub-aide with kids. The teachers like me because I don't trigger their most difficult students. ;)
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I definitely notice symptoms in others, wether I'm at some meeting or party, or whatever. If I people watch, which I often do, I will notice some behaviors that I may think fit in with a certain disorder. But I don't dwell on it or look into it in any way unless it affects me or mine. I used to think like a DR, but not anymore - I don't have time to worry about other people's undiagnosed disorders anymore! LOL
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    But I have to agree with-Muttmeister. This is a skill, not something where we always jump to conclusions.
    It's actually quite helpful, because it allows me to be a bit kinder to other people. But then I get upset because there is so much help out there, and people don't help themselves, and I grumble ... ;)
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I tend to notice symptoms of things that I've learned about along the way. I think this has benefits and disadvantages. For the good, it does help me deal with people better but on the downside, I try to remind myself that just because I see certain symptoms doesn't mean I have enough information about the person or qualifications of a professional to be able to adequately diagnose anyone so I shouldn't assume that I have them "pegged". You know how we feel as parents when someone puts a label on our difficult child just because they know a little something about one diagnosis and our difficult child has one or two common symptoms? I don't want to be like that!
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I sometimes will offer suggestions to other parents or to teachers who ask for an opinion, but in no way do I claim to know enough to diagnosis a problem or disorder. I try to say that it could be this or that, and maybe a psychiatrist/therapist/whatever should be consulted.

    I DO tend to diagnosis family. Largely because I see so much more of them. I don't usually tell anyone but husband what I think, though I do often suggest seeing a psychiatrist or therapist if it comes up and would be welcomed.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    O.M.G........*slinks back into office chair*

    I am NEVER coming to a reunion NOW!!!!! :rudolph:
    all of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names....they always diagnosis rudolph....
    (que music) I am not just a misfit......
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It's OK, Star. I may see autism and Asperger's under every rock, as my kids claim, but I've also been preaching that it's not necessarily a bad thing to have. But it IS a bad thing to be struggling in life and not know why.

    I don't interfere, but I do keep my eyes open and quietly draw my on conclusions. If the opportunity arises, I will find out more and hopefully get into a conversation, but only if the opportunity arises.

    Because I got involved, I was able to confirm my opinion of difficult child 1's best friend's Aspie diagnosis and from there able to get both of them enrolled and eventually through a college course. For the friend, it was his start in college in the absence of the school graduation that had been unfairly denied him due to a teacher's discrimination against him over her own fears.

    One of difficult child 3's best friends was diagnosed because again, I spoke up and then organised for as much help as the family would accept. That kid is now doing well.

    Mind you, I have made some mistakes. The kids at difficult child 3's drama class have a range of diagnoses but the majority are on the autism spectrum. I organised a picnic, about three families turned up. The kids had fun, the parents had a great day out. But I remember showing one girl my sudoku book, me idiotically thinking that all autistics are bright and capable with logic like difficult child 3. Nope. This girl sat patiently while I explained how to do sudoku. Then she took the book from me, flipped through it, found the answers at the back and patiently explained to me that all tat brain power I was expending was really not necessary; all I really needed to do was transfer the numbers one at a time, following the answer at the back. THAT was how you do it, none of the mental labour.
    She wasn't advocating dishonesty; she's not smart enough for that. But for this girl, she is always going to have to find the easiest, most logical way through the problem. She has to use every bit of help she can. But I was most amused by her polite, patient explanation to me tat I was doing it wrong and making so much more work for myself than I needed to.

    I felt shamed. And delighted. She's a darling girl. And if you watch Black Balloon, she's one of the lions.