First steps

Discussion in 'Failure to Thrive' started by kazzyc, Apr 16, 2016.

  1. kazzyc

    kazzyc New Member

    I finally reached breaking point last week when I discovered that my perfume had gone. This was the final straw after the last 3 months of my allowing him to come back home from his release from prison for shop lifting. So when my 21 year old thieving son tried to come 'home' I told him that was it. I was calling the police. He makes it so bloody hard. Crying like a 5 year old child outside the house shouting, causing nothing but more heartache. Smashing things up in my garden and banging on my doors and windows. Everything is my fault. He likes to blame me and intimidate me.

    I have called the police on him numerous times now. I know the police have a warrant out for his arrest as the things that have been reported missing from my house in the last three months have all gone through the local pawn store. Not in his name of course, but in the name of one of his scummy associates. It does bother me that I never know when his face is going to appear at my window or he is going to knock on my door. Each time if he doesn't get his own way kicking off. It doesn't bother him when he 'loses' it who he has a go at. I can tell his brothers and sisters are concerned as they don't want me on my own. They do try to make sure someone is with me.

    He was diagnosed with mixed emotional conduct defiant disorder at 9. I was a single mother with 5 children, him being the youngest. He was always challenging both at home and school. I got numerous jobs when he was younger, having to leave each and everyone after only a few days as his behaviour always went worse when I was trying to do something for me.

    I didn't even realize that I had become a member of this website 8 years ago and never posted anything. Instead I was plodding on through life. Feeling guilty that I could be as selfish enough in his eyes that I turned my back on him, expecting him to 'try' at life instead of trying everyone's patience.

    Keeping strong is going to be a tough journey, but I know if I keep coming back to this website and keep reading other peoples experiences with their adult children who have broke their families hearts on more than one occasion.

    Thank you. Thank you each and everyone of you who are sharing your experiences. I know now that I am not alone and that gives me the strength and courage to finally say enough is enough.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry he is causing you pain.

    Trust me, it is typical for an adult child who brings us to this board to blame us (they go to jail and use drugs all because of us), and to turn on the waterworks and to break our things, acting about three years old...once we set a boundary, like not giving them money anymore or refusing to allow them to live in our homes on our $$$.

    Your son is typical for one here.

    Drug user maybe?

    Are you aware that you are important too and that you deserve to live a great life,even if your kid chooses to live a rotten life? Also, he doesnt need a mommy anymore and your mommy days ended. Both of you need you to be strong and in control.

    That means being able to say "enough" if you have had enough. Do you have a therapist to help yourself?