He makes me so angry.. UPDATE!!!!

[Stella Johnson]

Honey, you have to stop thinking of that house as your home. You have a new home that isn't tainted. It's a fresh start.

I know it's hard after so many years together. I know it hurts to know he is already dating. Trust me, he isn't happy even if he pretends to be. He's trying to convince himself. This will all go down in flames eventually when she figures out what he is all about. He's good at playing the victim. It only goes so far.

My ex was the same way. We had a more explosive marriage so it was easier for me to walk away. I took what fit in my car, my kid, and I left. Never looked back.

I know you want your daughter to hate her. Please don't put her in the middle of this. I know you aren't trashing him to her but I'm sure your interest and hurt is coming through when you talk about his new "life". It's only going to hurt her more in the long run. She probably is uncomfortable right now being around the new girlfriend. I know I was when my parents first divorced. After a while I knew wht the women were and it wasn't something you would take home to meet mommy dearest. :slap: Trust me, your daughter will figure this out too on her own.

He is probably doing most of this to get to you. That's why he was so shocked you wanted to go through with the divorce.

Don't latch onto every story you hear about him. Stop letting your best friend tell you stories about him. It's only hurting you more. It keeps you up in a tizzy and spending energy on something that you need to get away from. Find new hobbies. Something that makes you happy. I started painting again after my divorce.

What makes you happy? Whatever it is, start doing it.

If you want your dog, find a way to get him to live with you even if that means moving. I know I couldn't let go of my dog babies either. It is only drawing you into the house more. You need to stop thinking of that house as any more than a piece of property you will be making money from soon.

(((hugs)))

Steph

 

[Marguerite]

Karen, you said, "Marg, to answer some of your questions, they aren't living at the house. HP And girlfriend are just playing house every evening there together and including her daughter sometimes."

That is SICK! And it confirms what Star said (and you also have seen) - he is playing house, he is trying to make-believe Happy Families. I firmly agree with you, this should not be happening in what was your marital home. It is just plain wrong. Does this mean YOU can go to the house and invite a boyfriend along? Or maybe invite Jill and her hubby to a dinner party with you there? Seriously do it. If he objects (and he would have a lot less to object to) then call him on it. Or maybe just suggest to him that it would be good for you to have your own dinner parties where you can have more space than in the flat which really is just big enough for you and easy child, not really suitable for sinner parties.

He'll be redecorating soon. Does anyone want to take bets on how long before he remodels the kitchen or the bathroom? Of course, this wouldn't be his idea... but would their relationship survive redecorating? It certainly tests any relationship, let alone such a starry-eyed fantasy as this.

And he insists easy child is fine with this - by whose stretch of imagination? This man listens to nobody and nothing except his own ego. He's trying to clumsily woo easy child and is making a total ham-fisted mess of it. And she sounds as shrewd as you. I'm sorry you both have to go through this, but you both will be stronger as a result.

Definitely time to move on, but also definitely, time to protect your own assets and share in assets.

Marg