And I am feeling kind of sad...
So much of my being, my self, is "lost" with the day to day stresses of difficult child. I have to take on the role of "warden". Always on guard. Always on alert. I get no vacations, no sick leave, no time off...
Until this week. difficult child has been away at camp.
I didn't have to go to "visiting hours" or "meetings" or "family sessions".
difficult child didn't call home once.
And suddenly, "I" was back. The "me" that I used to know. The "self" that I used to be...
I SLEPT! I relaxed! I LAUGHED! I had fun...
And tomorrow difficult child comes home.
And it all ends. "I" have to go back into hiding again.
Today, I had to meet with a therapist at our county health clinic. (She works with the prescribing psychiatrist at the clinic) They are making some staffing changes and she wanted to talk to me about difficult child's case.
Of course, she hadn't read the file. She met difficult child once and fell for all of difficult child's nonsense. She told me difficult child had reported she does really well in school.
I asked her if she wanted to see difficult child's report card. She seemed surprised at the grades...
I tried to explain what life is like around here. How it feels like constant warfare. How difficult child sits on the couch all day complaining...
The counselor suggested that "next time difficult child is helping me cook dinner" I should talk to her about my concerns for her future. Ummm....helping me cook dinner???? What part of "warfare" did you not understand????
The counselor suggested we be more supportive of difficult child's interests. I said it was hard to be supportive when all of difficult child's "interests" are inappropriate and her lies about school clubs and such are just a cover for sneaking around.
The counselor told me I just need to start thinking "positive thoughts"...
So...here I am...donning my "rhino skin" again and layering on the armor. Not just for difficult child, but for all the b.s. that goes along....the clueless counselors....the ridiculous advice...the well-meaning but clueless "butt-in-skis"...
I will miss "me"...
So much of my being, my self, is "lost" with the day to day stresses of difficult child. I have to take on the role of "warden". Always on guard. Always on alert. I get no vacations, no sick leave, no time off...
Until this week. difficult child has been away at camp.
I didn't have to go to "visiting hours" or "meetings" or "family sessions".
difficult child didn't call home once.
And suddenly, "I" was back. The "me" that I used to know. The "self" that I used to be...
I SLEPT! I relaxed! I LAUGHED! I had fun...
And tomorrow difficult child comes home.
And it all ends. "I" have to go back into hiding again.
Today, I had to meet with a therapist at our county health clinic. (She works with the prescribing psychiatrist at the clinic) They are making some staffing changes and she wanted to talk to me about difficult child's case.
Of course, she hadn't read the file. She met difficult child once and fell for all of difficult child's nonsense. She told me difficult child had reported she does really well in school.
I asked her if she wanted to see difficult child's report card. She seemed surprised at the grades...
I tried to explain what life is like around here. How it feels like constant warfare. How difficult child sits on the couch all day complaining...
The counselor suggested that "next time difficult child is helping me cook dinner" I should talk to her about my concerns for her future. Ummm....helping me cook dinner???? What part of "warfare" did you not understand????
The counselor suggested we be more supportive of difficult child's interests. I said it was hard to be supportive when all of difficult child's "interests" are inappropriate and her lies about school clubs and such are just a cover for sneaking around.
The counselor told me I just need to start thinking "positive thoughts"...
So...here I am...donning my "rhino skin" again and layering on the armor. Not just for difficult child, but for all the b.s. that goes along....the clueless counselors....the ridiculous advice...the well-meaning but clueless "butt-in-skis"...
I will miss "me"...