Help and Advice with Transferring Schools

[geekparent]

My difficult child is on behavioral probation at the parochial school that she attends. She has frequent emotional outbursts that can turn violent (hitting, kicking, screaming) if she is not caught and calmed down in a reasonable time and manner. The reason for the probation (as stated on the "contract" I received) is that:

• difficult child's inability to control her emotions when she does not get her way has caused disruption in her learning and the learning of her peers.
• difficult child has kicked and hit her teacher and the person in charge of day care.

I will admit that I have some problems with the wording of the first, because it makes it sound as though difficult child is willfully disobedient. She is not; she simply gets angry, frustrated, emotional quite easily and simply explodes. She doesn't have a filter to slow her down or stop her.

The second part of the "contract" states that the probationary period is to basically have difficult child turn into a model child in the span of four short weeks. All of the requirements to remain at school are things we've been working on for a full year, and she only just started medication in Nov 09, and even the medication hasn't been perfect. We're trying to help her, but it takes a proper diagnosis and the willingness and training of her teachers to work with her as she needs, I think.

Anyway, I know that difficult child will not be able to meet all the requirements in the Probation contract. She's just not at that level of control or management and we'll still working with her medications (and also with getting a second opinion on her diagnosis). If she fails to meet expectations, they will ask her to leave. If she actually manages to survive the probationary period, she's good to go unless/until she goes on probation again.

I know that they don't have the resources or ability to help her at her school (and I sort of feel like they haven't really tried to help, either but that's another story). I'm just so reluctant to move her with one quarter left in the school year. Yet, if I don't move/transfer her and she bombs out in the middle of spring quarter, then she'll be asked to withdraw and we'll be up the proverbial creek.

difficult child suffers from anxiety (that part of her diagnosis I agree with), and I'm not sure how she's going to react to changing schools. I have to do what's best for my difficult child in the long run, but I'm torn up about this. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?

 

[smallworld]

Have you looked into what options are available in your community?

The public schools are obligated to meet your difficult child's needs. There might be a program that could address her emotional needs.

 

[geekparent]

I don't even know where to begin to look in my community! I figure the first step is getting her a proper full assessment, though, right?

 

[tictoc]

Hi,
It does sound like her current school isn't meeting her needs. Who made her current diagnoses? Has she ever seen a neuropsychologist for a full evalutation? That would be a good first step. Getting an appointment can take some time (good neuropsychs tend to be busy), but in the meantime you can start looking at local public schools and see what Special Education options are available.

You do not sound confident in your daughter's diagnoses, so clarifying those seems like a good place to start.

My son had similar outbursts last year in kindergarten. He is now doing well (knock on wood) with a combination of medication, a 1:1 aide, social skills therapy, and occupational therapy.

 

[geekparent]

How do you get your child into social skills and occupational therapy? My difficult child's current psychotherapist has never offered those options.

 

[tictoc]

My difficult child receives both social skills therapy and Occupational Therapist (OT) at school through his IEP. The social skills program is part of the Autism Inclusion Program at his school (The program includes kids, such as difficult child, who do not have an autism spectrum diagnosis, but who need social skills help). We live in a medium-size city and the school district includes four or five elementary schools that have the Autism Inclusion/Social Skills program. difficult child gets a transfer to one of those schools because of his IEP.

We also do Occupational Therapist (OT) through a private occupational therapist and, after two years, are still battling our insurance co for reimbursement. Last summer we also did a private social skills program.

I think your best bet is to get your daughter evaluate thoroughly and then see if you can get an IEP from a public school. In the meantime, you also can look for a private Occupational Therapist (OT), but you might have to pay for that out of pocket.

 

[smallworld]

To get your daughter evaluated for an IEP through the public schools, you would need to locate your home elementary school and write a letter to the principal asking for a full evaluation for the purposes of special education and related services. See the Special Education 101 archives for sample letters.