Wow. I'm still assimilating it. I've been away for a couple of months, with family stuff and health stuff all a bit overwhelming ... just catching up now. difficult child has been quite peaceful at home; he's been working but only gets part-time hours, so no benefits and not enough income to move out and fully support himself; he sleeps all day, partly because his three shifts/week are nights, and partly because it's a great way to avoid husband and me. He's been clean and sober and hasn't stolen anything in many months. So, lots of good things, but he's also been spinning his wheels re getting a second job, or another job that has more hours, so that he can move out. He doesn't want to go back to school right now, says he doesn't know what he wants to do. Since we've told him he must take loans for tuition (though we'll help him with living), he doesn't want to invest that much without being sure. That does make sense! husband and I had just decided to give him a deadline by which to either register for some sort of skills training program, in which case he could continue to live at home, or to choose to continue working, in which case he would have to find a place and move out by the end of August. We just don't want to see him stay in this pattern endlessly. The big change ... a girlfriend! difficult child has become much happier, more pleasant at home, and has talked a lot about finding a place. Then this afternoon he and his girlfriend told me he's going to move in with her. She shares an apartment with her mother! I don't know how that will work out but difficult child wants to do it. He has so many ingrained behavior patterns and attitudes with husband and me - maybe with other people he'll learn the things he needs to learn. It's the only situation in which he could possibly afford to move out, and they seem to have discussed most of the practical issues. I think it will be a good thing for him. I'm dreading husband's reaction, though. I think husband has been banking on the idea that difficult child will go back to school in some form. husband has been very stressed lately and NOT being tactful at home, to say the least. I don't want him to see difficult child out the door having said things he'll regret (or should regret) later, but I can't control what comes out of his mouth. Sigh. I've hoped all along that difficult child would be able to move out peacefully, on good terms, and now that can happen ... I really really hope husband doesn't react badly.