"He's not here"

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Nov 3, 2008.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    It is pitch dark out. About 1/2 hour ago, difficult child said he was going two doors down to H's house to play Firefox. I am going to leave soon so thought I better call him home. I called H's mom and said, "Can you send difficult child home in about 15 minutes?"

    "He's not here. I have not seen him." "He said he was going over to play Firefox." "We just finished eating. I have not seen him." I start to go into shutdown shock like mode. "When did he say this?" "Not very long ago!" "I will go look downstairs." walk, walk, walk - How much longer can I hold my breath? "Oh, here he is!" Whew, I can breath again!

    I was starting to get scared. He has to let H's mom know when he is over there!
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Phew! Whew!
    Glad to hear that difficult child is safe and sound at H's house.

    Yes, I agree. He has to let H's mom know that he's there.
    Sending calming thoughts to slow down your pounding heart, now that the fear has passed.

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thank goodness he's safe!
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very glad to hear he is safe! What a scare!
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    easy child never saw me as mad as he when he wasn't where he said he was going to be and I didn't know where he was. He wasn't out doing anything bad, but that panic starts to kick in. Kids just don't think.

    I'm glad he's safe and sound. I hope your heart is out of your throat.
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Bet that was a heart stopper.

    Don't know whether to hug'em or scream at them in this type situation. lol

    Glad he's safe and sound.
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    They ate dinner and didn't know another child was in the house? Sorry, I put the blame on the parents there, not your son. Yes, he probably should have said he was there but I know that if I had an open-door policy for kids to come visit, I'd make darn sure I knew who was at my home when.

    But I'm so very glad he was where he said he would be and that all is well.
  8. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I don't know, MB. There have been times I've had kids in my house that I didn't know where here. They came in while I was in the bathroom or in the basement doing laundry or otherwise distracted.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad he is safe, and was where he said he would be. I agree with MB, I think it is rather strange to not know there is an extra child in your house. Even when I was friends with other kids who had HUGE houses, their mom always knew who was there (and no, I was NOT a noisy kid, LOL!!)
  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Heather, you didn't know a kid was in your house while you ate dinner? When a child was there for a few hours? We're not talking older teens, we're talking a 12 YO. I do believe it is the parents' responsibility to know who is in their home and what the kids are doing. This, to me, is just irresponsible even if your kids are 100% PCs. The rule at my mother's and my home was kids were always welcome to come over but they had to check in first. If they didn't, they were sent home when discovered no matter what they were doing. These parents obviously don't have that rule, so why should the child be held responsible for checking in? But it is the adults' responsibility to know what was going on and with whom.

    These parents fell far short of their responsibilities. They had a child in their home for an extended period of time with their child. There was never a check to see what their child was doing or if their child was okay. They even managed to eat a family meal with another child in the house. Then, they managed to really scare another parent by insisting that the visiting child was not there. Nice of the mom to finally say she would look.

    I stand by the parents are the ones who failed miserably on this one, not the boy.
  11. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    The boys had been back and forth all day. We are working with them to inform us where they are at all times. difficult child was only there for about 1/2 hour or less when I had called. I can see him entering the home and going down to the game room without the other mom's knowledge. Then H went upstairs to eat and didn't mention to his mom that difficult child was over.

    We do often have a kid in the house playing during a quick meal if that child has already eaten at home or refused the offer to join our meal.

    I have found that 12 year olds are entering a new world of informing people of what they are doing. Kids think we see and know what they are doing at all times and need to learn to tell us if they leave the yard or neighborhood even if we are aware. It is preparing them for those lovely teen years where they are always leaving home. Now is the time for them to get in the habit of letting people know where you are at.
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I got more info. I asked difficult child how he was in the house without the mom knowing. They must have finished eating just before difficult child arrived. He was in the back yards looking for nerf "bullets" and noticed the boys were in their game room. So, he went in their basement door and no one let the mom know he was there. I can understand how she wouldn't know someone coming in the basement door. It is in the back of their house and is not a common entry for company.