husband Vent.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hopeless, Oct 5, 2012.

  1. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Okay this a major vent starting so stop reading unless you want to hear complaining LOL :(

    Background: we are a middle class, two parent working family, house payment, car payment and credit card debt with a easy child who is going to start college next year. We make too much for financial aid so college will have to be paid for as well.

    husband just tells me he wants to quit his job and go into a lawn care business with a friend this next year. Are you serious...... I was like so shocked and really could not respond. I just want to cry right now and yell at the top of my lungs IDIOT.

    We have our insurance thru his employer as it is about $100 a week cheaper than thru mine so that would be a hit to our income as well. I am hitting 50 this month and would like to get our debt paid off before I can even think about retirement.

    You may read about me in the news: wife kills husband and goes into nut house.

    Crying now
     
  2. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    And my statement we make too much for financial aid means I can pay my monthly bills with my income but there is nothing going into savings or any extra spending on fun things.

    Didn't want you all to think I was rolling in cash.... Cause I am not kidding we have no extra after monthly bills are paid :(
     
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    My parents made too much for me to have financial aid, too. And that was a WHILE ago... But...

    I'd like to quit my job to be a stay at home Mom, and write books. Does he understand how upset his comment made you?
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That's the question that came to my mind. My husband is a fine human being and a marvelous devoted spouse and husband but...there are times when he just doesn't get it. At least in my case it is old age stuff. We married when we both had three teens. At that time we could get no financial aid for any of them because the forms required his income, my income, my Ex's income (although he contributed nothing for the children) AND husband's Ex's income (she not only did not contribute but didn't believe it was necessary for "the girls" to get an education).

    What a B of a time for him to hit mid life crisis! I'm sending hugs your way. DDD
     
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Would it be posible for you to take him to a SBA counseling center BEFORE he jumps ship like a bad pirate.......and has them tell him HOW many lawns he would have to have as an account to do what he wants to do to keep you in the same financial ring you are now........? Bill wise, and equipment wise........do a spread sheet, and business portfolio projection for him???????? And let him know how much work, how many hourse and how many lawns that is, with equuipment, gas, employees, and day time night time hours?????? let him see before hand?
     
  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    By the time you're 50, you've probably been working full time about 30 years. If that 30 yrs. has been in primarily the same job/industry, it's understandable to want to chuck it all and have a radical reinvention. He's got to recognize that he needs to postpone that impulse for the next 4 years. on the other hand, if he can just be a silent partner with his friend, be an investor, but continue to work on his regular job, that would probably be doable, but of course that's only if you have extra $ to throw into a business, which I doubt.
    The landscapers who own their businesses in my area are very well off, but they've been established for a long time, since they're about 20, and they've built it up over time, even over generations. They employ a lot of people, and in the winter they also do snow removal for residential and business customers. They make a lot of money, but their expenses are high and insurance is high, too. There's also a lot of competition for clients around here, and gas is a killer.
    husband was probably having a temporary senior moment. Try to convince him to put this idea on the burner for 4 years, and after easy child graduates college, he can reconsider if he's still interested. You're in the home stretch now, just 4 more years! It sounds like forever, but it goes fast. It's hard to always put other people's needs first (like your kids!) and shelve your own dreams.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Maybe he needs to hear that truth be told the lawn business absolutely stinks?? Too many IF factors at work.....weather, equipment, GAS, physical condition, weather........economy (cuz let's be honest, money gets tight and people tend to mow their own grass)

    At his age, realistically speaking, just how long does he think he'll be physically able to do such a job day in and day out? I admit Fred wasn't the most active person, but by his late 50's it took 3 or more days of constant harassment from me to get him out to mow our own lawn, let alone someone elses. Our yard is not that big either, really. I can do in in about a half hour.

    I'd tell him he can have his dream once you're out of debt.

    Fred wanted to open a store. I was never really quite sure what type of store he wanted it to be......from his description a sort of variety store with all sorts of cool things to sell. It's ok to have dreams. One just has to be realistic about the timing. We've had several very prosperous lawn companies go under in the last couple of years. First was the economy. Then the whacky weather and the economy. Not to mention people desperate to make bills were out there under pricing them and snatching away business. I *think* we have one left........I don't think it's doing very well. I rarely see them around town.

    Tell husband he will have to put his midlife crisis on hold for a while.

    ((hugs))
     
  8. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Let him do this in addition to his real job. Tell him to see how much money he can make just doing it on nights and weekends to start. It's backbreaking manual labor that has no income from Nov until April! There is no income if he gets hurt, or if it rains, or a million other reasons......then there is the insurance. What is the matter with him? (HUGS)
     
  9. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Thanks everyone :).

    husband friend is already established and is taking over another friends business so he wants husband to become partners. My husband current is a physical job so I know he could do lawn business.

    But I see several problems to this:
    Insurance both on the business and our personal health insurance cost
    The business is in another state do the cost and mileage on a daily basis
    He would not be able to keep current job and do this on the side
    He is a little younger than me ;) but age does creep up on you LOL
    And last is financially I do not like the unknown of what income we would see on a regular basis.

    Hoping he comes to his senses here soon
     
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    We don't have any real "landscapers" in our little town but we have a few lawn services that do a pretty good business, including the one that does my yard. These are small businesses but they have a fortune invested in their equipment! They have several of the huge commercial mowers and other smaller equipment. Then they have a large enclosed trailer to haul it all around in and a big truck to pull the trailer. In addition, they have several employees who work for them. When they do my yard, there's at least three of them working on it at the same time - one mowing and two using the weedeaters so they can get it done quickly. If it was just one guy trying to do it all, it would take hours. But with three of them, they can knock out my HUGE yard in less than a half hour. And that's not counting their other expenses like gasoline and maintenance. They get between $35 and $50 for each yard they do - minus expenses and divided between three of them. Nobody is getting rich.

    And then in the winter when there's no grass to cut ... Just for fun, one day I asked the owner what he does in the winter. He kind of chuckled and said that he sits in his recliner drinking beer and watching football! So they have to make enough during the summer months to tide them over the winter - not easy to do.
     
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Around here the lawn services all require annual contracts. Although we don't, of course, have snow during the "winter" the grass does not need mowing often whereas most of the year it's hard to go five days with-o your yard looking shabby. (LOL...we do have a shabby yard.) I know a few families who have been in the business for fifteen or twenty years. The rainy season is a huge problem and it's almost impossible for them to take a vacation. The only truly successful ones get commercial contracts and forget the residential altogether. DDD
     
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Welll..........

    Maybe......JUST maybe......Hes really going to cut the grass and it won't be so bad.......FINGERS CROSSED......(Star appears out of no where to be the Sunshine in your day NOT necessarily the voice of reason......drums fingers and wonders ........is the man cutting the grass or smoking it>>>>>>>>>>no no no) ........seriously-------it just may work out and be one of those instances where you find he's really at peace with his life and successful and happy......happier........and it all works out. PUSH=====pray until something happens......

    okay - that's all i got in the happiness box today.
    hugs
     
  13. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I know a landscaper- he was my boxing instructor ( can you say 10 bucks n hour for the entire evening( 3 hours)when you have a family Trying to save money for a snowplow on to his income in the winter. He never did anyway. The poor wife, she got stuck with all the evening chilcare plus supporting the family and providing benefits, going to the soccer and football games for 3 kids.... the boxing instuctor was a drunk, gambler and the poor woman was the rock. Forget the dumb grass, the family is more important. husband KEEP THE DAY JOB. I don't know you, thank me later.

    DH_ your family is all you have.Please! Your wife can't do everything. You got this man.
     
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tony is convinced he wants to stop working in commercial construction and open a little business doing wood working. We got my dad's tools when he died so he could do this. The tools are put up and he hasnt so much as touched them. He is supposed to build a workshop. So far no go. I wanted to buy one of those ready made ones that you just pay a little bit each month on like a mortgage and by now we have owned it...lol. Tony said it wouldnt be big enough. Well it was bigger than the one we have in the yard now which is NONE! Those things are very reasonable to me.

    I do think it wont be long until Tony is going to have to quit working but that is because of his health. He is going downhill but he has worked in construction for over 30 years and that is hard, back breaking work.
     
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear, I hear you!
    I would tell him to show you a spreadsheet and tax returns for the past 10 yrs.
    Period.
    Sending hugs your way.
     
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