I just need to have a little pity party/whine...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by AnnieO, Sep 6, 2013.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm starting to feel beaten up... Or beaten down. I don't know which.

    You see, husband's business went under in the spring. He's been frantically looking for a job for months - since the last one ended just before I went on maternity leave. He worked 3rd shift security for a while but it turned out to barely cover the expenses of working... So it was a wash, and physically it was killing him - because 2 days a week he watches Rose - during the day. The constant rearranging sleep took its toll. He had to stop - because he wasn't making enough for the sitter to watch Rose the extra 2 days - or even one, with my parents taking her for the other. He had a short-term thing he did, but it's over and has been. He paid a LOT of bills from that and filled the freezer with meat and other foods. But last night he had to tell Pat that until he gets another job, he cannot renew the XBox Live. That was a horrible thing for me to overhear - the extreme defeat in his voice. The "Dad, don't worry, I understand" from Pat.

    husband's ex partner is suing us. Yes, us... PERSONALLY, though I had nothing to do with the business and even washed my hands of it entirely. I guess he doesn't get that some investments don't work out. This guy is a real piece of work and I will stop there because he makes me very angry.

    Our company had to furlough us for 4 days. (Some people lost their jobs entirely, so it could be worse.) But that is $150+ a paycheck I am losing - they allowed us to split them up so I set them so no more than one would hit per check. My last one was Tuesday, so one more short check.

    Rose is outgrowing clothes like crazy. So is Pat. We still have hospital bills for about $500 a month for me, her, and Belle ($200 for us, $300 for Belle - ours will be paid off in March, Belle's sometime next fall). Camping was actually less expensive than staying home because father in law paid for most of the food and the campsite.

    I got paid today. I looked at the bills to be paid - mortgage and sitter for Rose - and the things I wanted to do go out the window. Like a date night with my husband - or even just a movie.

    I know we will be okay - we're not going to starve, we have a freezer and pantry full... But the luxuries are quickly going POOF. There is a festival this weekend I love, I go every year with my parents. I always buy extra to freeze. Not this year... They always "treat" us to a meal there. But I won't be taking home any extra and that is going to BOTHER my Mom.

    The expensive kid (Belle) is out of the house. Pat is no more expensive than he ever was, except maybe bread-wise, and I can get that for 49 cents a loaf. Rose's clothes are MUCH cheaper than Belle's ever were - I can get 6-8 complete outfits for her for what a pair of Belle's jeans cost. And yes, I do believe in thrifting, but they don't usually have a lot in Rose's size that are any better of a price than Wal-Mart. Mom picks up cases of diapers for us... Rose eats what we eat... But I do know what the difference is. 2 years ago, the peanut butter I bought Pat was $5 for a big jar. Now it is $9. That is an 80% increase in price! Soda pop - OMG, the stuff doesn't get BOUGHT unless I have a super coupon on top of a super sale. $4.99 for 12 cans is outrageous! $2.29 for a 2-liter is insane! We drink a LOT of tea. Fortunately, I like the stuff.

    Gas prices... Ugh. Just ugh.

    I need pretzels and prayers, juju and nekkid chicken liver dances that husband finds a job that we can actually live with. Or we win the lottery.

    Thanks for listening.

    ...And... I feel guilty because so many people are getting by on so much less.
  2. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    (HUGS!) You can apply for Pat to have free lunch and breakfast at school. Talk to the school, maybe they know of some resources for your family. Trust me, they know about more things than you can imagine. Our school allowed for all of our students to have money for Christmas shopping and books from the book fair for free! Just let the school know and your family will be considered for these things you cannot imagine. As Raffi says, all you really, really need is love in your family. You have that, that is the most important thing. Don't you think? I am sorry for this rough patch. hugs.
  3. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Love to you dear friend. I feel your pain.

    We closed h's business a year ago exactly after struggling to keep it alive thru the recession. We were starting to see the light but chose the safe haven <snort> of a corporate job with less $ but long term stability. His division was sacred <double snort> and the average employee length of service was 20 years...

    And he was just 2 days shy of his 1 year anniversary, when they let go of the entire division. On a late Wednesday afternoon before a 3 day weekend which made ASAP networking difficult.

    2 weeks severance for every year... so he gets only 2 weeks and his insurance went until the end of the month- he was let go on the 28th. Hmph. 8/29 & 8/30 are 2 of his 10 severance days. We struggled to sink as much as possible into his 401k instead of savings and he was 2 days shy of being vested in his 401k match, so we lose the match.

    I am scared to death. I lost 5lbs in a week. Only good thing to come out if it. And I am not being a supportive wife despite knowing that he is devastated. And we spent a ton of money in August because our finances had stabilized and he was approaching his year anniversary. Bills come this month. Bitter party -table for 1

    Pm me and let me know what size P wears. My kids are peanuts and PC16 woke up this morning and literally had outgrown his clothes. Fortunately, he can (and did) raid his older brothers' closets. I'd be happy to send them along if they will fit P.

    I know how you feel. This was going to be our time to spoil PC16 who has worn hand me downs his whole life. He needed/wanted special Nike socks for football just a few days b4 husband got fired and we bought them with- joy; counting our blessings that we didn't have to choke on the $20 price so that he could match his peers. I am so glad we bought them b4 we got the news.

    We have so many blessings. We really do. I shouldn't whine or complain. We can squeak by for a year on my pay + savings which is a real blessing. I get it. But I also don't want to squeak by. I want to buy soda. I want cable and a pedicure. And wine. And date night. And new lipstick. And take out when I work late. I need work clothes and h needs interview clothes. We were just getting back on our feet- and many of our things and our household maintenance is showing signs of neglect. H was sanding & scraping the deck to refinish it in August & that's how it will remain- peeled and scraped. He planned to buy the paint & finish it over Labor Day. BAH!

    So, I will be pulling for you guys- in my heart and my prayers. Things will turn around. Keep the faith and we will encourage each other. Xo
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    been there done that, it bites. There are lots of things you can do to lessen the cost of bills and groceries. But, you know that! I am sorry you are seeing hard times! At least smiles are free!
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm pretzeling for you with all my heart.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    UAN, are you ready for this?

    I make too much money for Pat to even qualify for reduced price lunches.

    Well, if they did some adjusting, as they do, maybe. But then there's his SSI death benefit check... Yep. Over the limit. WAY over it.

    I did manage to get free hair dye today... LOL... I had a great coupon + a great sale...

    Nah, I'm okay, I just hate being nearly broke all the time.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    been there done that too. And it hoovers. Hope husband can find something spectacular. Hugs.
  8. Mrs.McNear51

    Mrs.McNear51 Member

    Check out Facebook for bargain sites. We have local sites, like Baby Swap and Sell, where I get most of my grandbaby's clothes. I picked up 15 fall outfits for her for $10. They also have sites, Yard Sell Junkies, where you can get just about anything for really cheap. And you don't have to get out and search for bargains. Keeping positive thoughts for you.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What size is the baby now? I have a size 18 month snow suit that mouse wont wear this winter. I had figured I would be sending it to you anyway. I will probably fit her at least for awhile because it doesnt have the enclosed feet. I also have some 18 month old winter clothes that I bought her last winter thinking they would fit. They were supposed to be a mix of 12 and 18 month but most turned out to be 18 to 24 months. I will send on what I can.

    Now let me give you my secret that I use when needing baby clothes....Ebay. They sell mixed lots and I have been known to snipe a lot in the middle of the night. If you tell me what you need I will stay up and get you lots.
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    You guys are awesome.

    I belong to several of those facebook pages... They are bad for my wallet! Last fall I got about 52 pieces of clothing for $30, some of which she is still wearing!

    Janet... She is wearing 9-12 month tops, 0-3 or 3-6 month bottoms (no butt), but when I went to get her footed fleecies I have to get 12-18 months because she's so darned TALL!

    I'm just hoping husband gets a job soon. He's been looking... I can't really fault him...
  11. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Let me know if you want me to send you coupons. Your family is my family.
  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Thank you 3S... My biggest gripe about coupons is they usually aren't good enough to make whatever it is cheaper than the generic version. And when they are, its not something I buy.

    I did save $8 today off batteries, baby snacks and lunches. I usually just cut up fruit, meat and cheese, biscuits, etc. as snacks for her, but given that my final total was $13 on $21 worth of stuff and $10 of that was full price generic...
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Cherub goes without clothes most of the time, but it is getting colder. Hope husband finds something soon. It is hard and emotionally exhausting to watch each penny.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh heavens Annie...please dont buy batteries without checking with me first. Billy is now the manager of Radio Shack and I can tell you all the specials on batteries. I can probably also let you use our family discount. I just have to get it.

    In fact I have to remember to tell everyone on here when they have big sales. They just had one and I meant to come here and post about it but forgot. He bought a laptop for 200 bucks that was originally 585.

    We have so many batteries it isnt funny...lol. He buys them by the boatload every time they go on sale. And Im talking packages of about 24.

    I will go through Mouse's clothes and see what I can find. Idiot Mandy sold almost everything they owned when she wanted to move to TX but that lasted all of about a week before she wanted to come home again. They werent there three weeks and now they have nothing. That made me mad because she sold all the Xmas presents I got the mouse plus an AC unit I bought them 2 years ago. We could have just put that stuff up here to save for them. She was incredibly short sighted.