I lost it over black eyed peas

[klmno]

I agree with what several otheres here have psoted about religion and it being more about your personal relationship and deeds.

As far as your brother in law-- I am suspicioous that he's already lost his job- did anyone actually HEAR or SEE evidence that he just heard a warning from the boss?

Either way, I would call his church and tell them how he's always speaking so highly of them all and because you are sure they must be wonderful, God-fearing, giving people who appreaciate an opportunity to help a fellow member who is in dire need, that you'd like to explain his situation that he's obviously too embarressed to tell them and ask for their help himself. Then ask them when they can be here to pick him up or fix his car or send money for a hotel or whatever.

Yes, I'd feel guilty over actually doing that in a way- but I can see where his BS could turn me off agaainst that particular church, right or wrong.

 

[DazedandConfused]

The Idiot remarked "when I was out in California it was full of atheists."

LOL! He must have run into my sister; she is certainly capable of making someone think the entire state of California is atheist being such a Dawkins and Hitchins devote.

I don't intend to make light of your situation. In fact, I had an uncle that is frighteninigly similar to your brother in law. He stayed with us for about six months when I was teen, and I can't even count how many times I wanted to deck him. Said the same kind of stuff too and SO dang arrogant! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with such a moron.

 

[susiestar]

Janet, I am SO sorry that this is going on in your home. I know that Catholic guilt first-hand. Among other things, as a kid I felt guilty because on of our priests the first 3 yrs in school (grades 1,2,3) was "over-happy" in the nun's words when a girl sat on his lap. We were not just led to believe this, we were flat out TOLD that it was OUR fault for tempting him. He went for girls a bit older, maybe in grades 5-6, so I never actually sat on the guy's lap (you did NOt have a choice - he sat down and put you on his lap - saw it more than a few times) and I STILL felt guilty for maybe somehow tempting him. That is just the START of the reasons why I won't go to church, esp the Catholic ones. As a teen I went to some of the churches my friends went to a time or two and they sure didn't seem a lot better to me.

So I KNOW that guilt you are feeling and it is time to recognize it for what it is. This guilt is NOT what God wants. It is what MAN uses to make people do certain things. You have done NOTHING wrong with having kids out of wedlock.

When you sit and think of your boys, no matter HOW angry you are with them at that minute, do you still love them? Do you still want the best for them and for their kids? Or do you sit and hate them or not want them around for things they did DECADES ago?

If you, a mortal woman, can forgive/forget/get over/whatever you want to call it, all the mistakes and problems and painful things that your kids have done, how much MORE do you think God loves YOU. Yup. YOU.

You have given so much advice and wisdom and love to all of us, the oldies, the newbies, the short-timers, and the here-forevers, I cannot put ANY faith in any sort of God that would not be very happy with you and the life you have lead. He doesn't hate you to throw you away just because you made mistakes. Like Mrs Frizzle on that Magic Schoolbus, God expects us to make mistakes and get messy as we live and learn.

This idiot who is trying to move into your home and preach at you is just a poser. He will get his, I promise. For now, do whatever you have to and get him the heck out of your home. You do NOT deserve any of his stupidity and in my opinion it was incredibly wrong of Tony to do this to you over Christmas.

Sorry if this got too religious, just wanted to give you mho.

 

[DammitJanet]

And now Tony has informed me of my biggest fear...something I probably posted about at the beginning of the summer when everyone started showing up. I knew there was an ulterior motive to us suddenly becoming popular with his relatives when we hadnt seen them in years.

Buck wants to get a small trailer and move it down here and live with us on this land. I cant stop him. Its heir land. I could probably put up enough of a fuss that Buck truly isnt kin to them because he wasnt legally adopted but no one would back me and I would just be tossed out. I have told Tony that maybe he and Buck should just buy me out on my trailer and I will move out. He says my trailer isnt worth much. Well hell...not since Buck screwed up my new AC unit by tearing up the duct work. I know I could get at least 8 to 10 grand out of this place. It is a double wide with a brand new HVAC in it. Yes it needs work but still.

I swear if he comes down I am moving. I will stick a for sale sign on this place.

 

[Signorina]

Oh Janet - I checked back to see how you are feeling and I read your latest post.

I am so sorry.

I think you need to investigate moving...moving out and moving on. You've written longingly of a new apartment that is accessible. It's time to take steps towards that...

I know there are financial considerations, but if you maintain the status quo -- nothing is going to change. Maybe bite the bullet, start by finding a place. Don't worry about Tony or Buck or the trailer for now. Find the new place first and then figure out how to leave.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[DammitJanet]

Problem is that I cant get into subsidized housing for the disabled while I still own this mobile home. It is considered an asset and will keep me out. Catch 22.

 

[InsaneCdn]

This isn't "stupidity" anymore - its culture clash.
I have deep respect for First Nations cultures, but... their whole mindset toward property is so far removed from common culture that there is bound to be a clash.

And when Tony says that you don't understand "family" and "siblings"? Again, its a culture clash. Its not because he grew up with siblings and you didn't... its because he grew up with First Nations culture about these things, and you didn't. The whole baseline of what the world is and how it works and the meaning of "stuff" (from land and houses, to food and family keepsakes...) is different.

For all of us, as we get older, we revert more to our "source" culture(s). I know that as husband gets older, he will get less Canadian and more European... and I'll become even more Canadian.

Its such a tough situation. No words of wisdom about what to do... that has to come from you.