Miss you all so much. I've been lurking but too embarrassed to post because I have been gone so long. Please forgive me. I am having the hardest time ever with Tink. She is beyond out of control. Can't get her medications right, still don't even know if she needs to be on any. She can turn on and off in a second. Of course she is always on for me, but when we go see her dad she is a little angel. She is refusing to do her homework, refusing medications, abusing the cats, and throwing the worst tantrums you have ever seen. A neighbor called the cops on me the other day because he thought I was beating her, she was screaming so loud. I am trying to implement more structure in her life, per her therapist's suggestion, and she is fighting me every step of the way. She even kicked me while I was driving the other day because I wouldn't stop and get her McDonalds. She is just completely out of control, and I don't get a break from her. I just feel so defeated. We see her psychiatrist tomorrow morning. I am going to ask about admitting her somewhere. This is breaking my heart but I don't know what else to do. She needs help and I am not able to do it. Her pediatrician thinks she is on the spectrum but I can't afford a neuropsychologist evaluation to determine for sure. I'm still not working, still without a car, and completely drained. Please rattle some beads for her. She is gonna have a world-class meltdown tomorrow when she hears me ask the doctor about admitting her. Love you all.