I'm Back! Sorry for all the worry

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Dec 16, 2014.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry for scaring everyone but things have been really difficult around here. First off my poor computer died and I had to send it in to have it revived. Thankfully I bought the warranty! Square Trade rocks. Secondly, I have been really sick and hurting since the accident and not much is helping. I have also developed severe anxiety when it comes to driving anywhere especially if any 18 wheelers happen to be around. The insurance company still hasnt settled anything even for my vehicle which means we are driving around in a wrecked little Toyota pickup. The window only rolls down 4 inches and the door opens just enough for me to slide in. Tony beat the fender wells away from the tires so they dont rub. It's just a mess. I need money to buy another car.

    Now onto more things to just stress me out. Last week the cops went over to my trailer that we are renting to Billy and difficult child. Evidently they were only there to serve some sort of paper from a neighbor who is convinced difficult child stole a truck (he didnt) but difficult child thought they were there about a warrant he has had out for over 3 years now and he took off out of the house leaving the Mouse (3 year old granddaughter) in the house by herself. What an idiot!

    So as you can imagine not only were the cops there, they called CPS. Evidently before difficult child bailed out of the house he called Billy and Mouse's mother but neither of them could get there. From what I understand, the mom got there about half an hour after they arrived which is dumb because she was about 400 yards up the road. Anyway, the cps worker told her my trailer wasnt fit for anyone to live in and the baby wouldnt spend another night there over his dead body even if he had to burn the place down. Now I am very ticked off that anyone from CPS threatened to burn my place down. That is a threat that I want investigated and if they really said it, they should be fired. I have a feeling the reason they said the child couldnt live there is they may have found drug items out like pipes or bongs. I dont know because I havent been over there in well over a month or more.

    Well anyway, they got ahold of difficult child and told him he needed to turn himself in on Thursday. WTH? He has jumped bail at least 5 times but yet they continue to let him out! I was so sure that he was finally going to be going to the jail to serve his time. Oh no. They gave him another bond and Mandy bailed him out! The child is in foster care but oh heck, she had to bail difficult child out! Does that make any sense to anyone? And now Tony is mad at me because evidently I am the last person to know this and when I called him all in astonishment that such a thing could happen he was like...so why are you upset, dont you want difficult child to spend Xmas with his children? Well actually no I dont. He has put us in the position that we could possibly not be able to see our grandchildren.

    When CPS ran us through the system to see if we could take the baby we came up as unfit parents! Uhhh...only because we had an unfit child! I am so livid I cant see straight. The one good thing is Jamie agrees with me.

    I have had it. I wish I had only parented dogs. Now we have to put our two months notice in on this place and go back home. Billy is of the mindset that he can go back to paying $150 a month which is so not going to fly. I dont even want him there. Tony wants to turn my trailer into a duplex and let Billy rent the other part. I want to get rid of the double wide and get a tiny two bedroom single wide. Heck I would be satisfied with a travel trailer. I DONT WANT KIDS LIVING WITH ME ANYMORE!!!!! How much plainer can I get with that?
     
  2. Doglover8

    Doglover8 New Member

    Oh boy Janet, Hugs, hugs and more hugs. What a mess!! Sounds a lot like my chaotic life. Hope things turn around in your favor and wish you could stay in your apartment. Seems like it's been nice for you and Tony to have that place.
     
  3. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Janet, welcome back!
     
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Welcome back!
     
  5. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Well at least you will never ever be bored. :)

    Honestly it is probably best for Mouse to be out of that house with them caring for her. You and Tony would need huge amounts of support to care for her considering medical and financial issues. Plus caring for Mouse is a full time job if I remember right and now may not be a good time for you to take that on with your health issues. Maybe it is best to work with CPS to maintain contact with Mouse and allow her to grow up in a home without all her mom and dads drama. Its very possible her mom and dad should have only parented pets as well (on a light note). What about Monkey though? Where was she when all this was going on? Hopefully she was at school but man I hope Monkey doesn't get dumped back in a bad situation. I hope that CPS takes the time to ensure Monkey's care and not just Mouses.

    Hell I would have let the CPS guy burn it down! LOL Get the insurance and the money from the settlement with the state and move to Timbuktu far away from all the boys and their drama. If I remember right this is the second time CPS came out and said the house was unfit and required repairs. Considering the boys and Mandy's skills at maintaining the home I am guessing it was probably worse the second time around. There is no way I would let Tony talk me into allowing those boys to stay after they have now proven TWICE that they can't keep the house in a manner fit for living.

    I am sorry you arent' feeling well and that all this is going on. I am SOOOOOO sorry your grandbabys are getting drawn into it. I really wish your boys and Tony would take better care of themselves and YOU!!! I hate hearing about you in pain and being forced to deal with crap from full grown men and women. Billy needs to move. He isn't an invalid and there is no reason he cant find a cheap apartment. Mandy and difficult child would get the boot without any further concern. It doesnt seem like Mandy has trouble finding a place to land when she needs it and difficult child, well let Mandy deal with difficult child if she thinks its so important.

    How much more are you and Tony going to take from these boys? HUGS
     
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  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, Janet, I'm so glad you're back, but so sorry so much garbage has gone on. Our difficult children really don't have much common sense, do they? That's why so many of us can't live with them. They are not of this planet...not just yours, all of them!!! But, again, I know how strong you are and that you will make it and, my God, you have all of us worried ninnies as your friends forever. I never saw that kind of worry about ANYONE on this board. How long have I been here? You have true friends in all of us. I never met you, but consider you a friend...if you ever needed my help for anything...well, you PM me and I will give you my phone number and I will try to help.

    I think your idea about a smaller trailer is a good idea by the way and it would be so much less stress if your kids would move on. Like so many of our kids-who-won't-launch, they cause us more trouble than it's worth and I have also thought about wishing I'd only raised dogs and had a dog rescue, even though I have some PCs. The PCs still make me anxious for them at times. Relationships with humans are soooooooo difficult, even when things are good.

    WELCOME BACK JANET!!!!!!! Hugs!!!
     
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Welcome back, Janet. I'm sorry to hear your life is so stressful right now. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
     
  8. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    :bpotd:You and me both sister!
     
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Darlin, given issues with the trailer, INSIST on a small single wide and get the kids O. U. T. NO reason Billy should be paying $150 a month and doing nothing. You are NOT helping him by letting him stay on those terms. When y'all are gone, Billy will have zero coping skills if you allow him to stay in your home. I don't think he would qualify for supported housing, so he will be out in the cold if you don't push him out of your nest NOW. It seems mean and may feel mean, but in reality it is far more cruel to be 'nice' and let him stay with you and not learn to deal with the real world and pay real world bills. As for difficult child, he DESERVES to be out in whatever he can figure for himself if he let things get that bad and he left his child alone because he was worried about his own tushie and an old warrant he should have cared for long ago. Mouse could have been seriously harmed by being left alone that way and NO WAY does he deserve ANY sympathy. NONE.

    No parent would be fit to have raised your difficult child. NO parent could have done better than you and Tony did because he simply refused to be parented. Even if you beat him constantly, it would not have helped. CPS not getting that is CPS being stupid. But what do you expect the way they are now? They have changed and lost common sense in a lot of places, in my opinion. Heck, here my exsil is an opiate/heroin addict AND an alcoholic with no more than 4 mos sober at at time in over 15 yrs (and she has an 11yo), but CPS says she is just fine as a parent in spite of revolving door boyfriends, nonstop online boyfriends who pay her bills in exchange for phone sex and photos (can you say "Ho?" she can!) and some boyfriends who are more interested in her daughter - who now lives full time with her! CPS says she is a great parent -- mostly because she makes a point to be drinking buddies or bed buddies with at least one CPS caseworker at any given time. which creeps me out, Know what I mean??

    I am so sorry things are so rough. We are here any time you need us!
     
  10. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am happy you are back. I am very sorry that things are so bad for the grands. I think if it were me, I would leave the whole lot of them.
     
  11. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Janet, at least you can stay where you are for 2 more months and try to come up with a better plan. You're not in any condition to go fixing up a trailer that they wrecked, and you can't live there when it's in that condition. Maybe Billy can live there and get a different roommate, one who pays the rent, forget difficult child. You need peace and quiet. If you must move back, Billy and everyone have to leave. Tony can't say Poor Billy! What we he do? For a very long time Billy has been on his own there and he's just fine. People move, Billy has 2 months to find and apt and go, it's not the big deal Tony thinks.

    That poor little girl, she's in need of better parenting. Cps needed to be involved there. It's a shame. I can't imagine what difficult child was thinking.
     
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks guys. Monkey isnt involved because she lives elsewhere. She doesnt have a clue yet because we didnt get her this past weekend but eventually she is going to figure out she isnt going over to visit her sister and that will bother her. She adores her sister and her father. When she will really notice it is when we move back to what we now call the farm...our old place.

    I really didnt want to take on the baby...no way. I cant barely take care of myself much less a young child but they said it would only be for Thursday thru Sunday and Tony said he would stay home on Friday and the rest of the weekend. She wouldnt get to my house until late Thursday afternoon either so it wouldnt have been so bad but obviously we werent fit.

    I am a bit surprised that the lady who has mouse is taking her over to see her parents every evening. I would have thought there would be controls. Mandy almost blew it by trying to go take Mouse out of daycare herself which is simply not allowed. She would have been charged criminally. As it is they are requiring both of them to do drug testing, parenting classes and counseling and they told Mandy they thought she needed to see a psychiatrist for medication but Mandy is so ticked about all that. Number one she convinced Billy to pee for her. I cant believe that one. I would have given her ginger ale! She also doesnt see why she should take parenting classes...how dumb. Tony went over on Sunday and fixed a bunch of stuff at the house. Now some things are problems that have been going on for years. Things such as my bedroom door was broken and difficult child tried to fix it but he couldnt get it square. Tony fixed it. I had a soft place in my kitchen floor that was starting to get soft before we left but got much worse this past year. For some reason places in my floor got soft or actually fell through when Buck was there. Tony already replaced the hole in front of the washing machine where Buck put a hole. I dont know how he did it when I could walk in there and not fall through. Also Billy's sink was clogged up. He couldnt figure out how to take the trap off and clean it out.

    I do have one big thing that has happened. I stopped smoking cigarettes. I havent given up nicotine though because I now vape. I havent had a cigarette since early Sept. My favorite flavor is Strawberry Mint.
     
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  13. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Welcome, welcome, welcome back!

    :O)

    It just hasn't been the same without you.

    We've missed you.

    Cedar

    .
     
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janet, glad you are back! You are an integral part of this board and we are not the same without you!

    Sharon
     
  15. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Administrator Staff Member

    Helllooo Janet. Glad to see that you're alive and well.

    Welcome back!
     
  16. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad you're ok and you're back!
     
  17. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You can't get any plainer than that. Say it and stick to it. You're done raising children, as well you should be. Tony needs to figure this one out.
     
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm glad you're back and that you're ok.

    You need to stick to your guns about the new trailer...........and I wouldn't move until there was a new one in place. It's high time Mr Billy grows up and he can easily live elsewhere. Until then, it's just him. I don't see why he couldn't stick it out until he finds somewhere new to live and you all get the new trailer in place.

    I'm glad you didn't take on the little one. She's more than a handful and likely even worse than before. *sigh*

    It's time for you and Tony to have peace in your home. Time to enjoy the grandkids and each other while your grown kids go on to live their own lives.

    ((hugs))
     
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  19. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So glad you are back Janet!! You were definitely missed! Sorry things have been so rough.
     
  20. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad that you are ok Janet! I'm sorry things are tough at the moment but it's great to see you back. You were truly missed!
     
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