mstang67chic
Going Green
I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't make difficult child do anything...even husband can't if difficult child truly doesn't want to do it. Which is surprising since although difficult child is 6'2", husband is 6'5" and a lot bigger than difficult child.
This morning I stuck difficult child's gameboy in my room to make sure he didn't take it to school. I forgot and locked it in there so he wasn't able to get to it when he got home. He called me on my cell FIVE MINUTES after getting home, all spazed out because he didn't have that game in his hands right then and there. To me, if you're jonesing that bad for a video game, there's a problem. When I got home I gave it to him with the condition that he had a two hour limit. I explained my reasoning for this (see above comment about jonesing) and of course that went over oh so well. I then told him that he could continue to argue with me and lose the two hours completely or stop and be able to play. He kept arguing so I told him to give it to me. He's holding it behind him, above his head, anywhere I can't get to it, all the while telling me no. At this point he's also going into his speil about how I treat him like a kid, he's growing up/almost 18, I'm controlling and overbearing...etc. My responses range from "my house, my rules" to "I'm the parent, that's my job" He then decides that he doesn't want to live here anymore and demands I give him his Grandmother's number (bio) so he can call her and go live with her. (Two hours away) When I immediately got it, I think I threw him for a second because he didn't call her right away, but instead tried the whole "you're controlling and overbearing" bit again. When that didn't work, he then called his grandma and left a message for her to call him because he needs to talk to her. (And no, she won't let him live with her.) by the way......husband wasn't home and isn't home a lot in the evenings so I get to enjoy the fun that is my life bymyself a lot of the time. (It's not by choice that he isn't here.....he works retail)
This has been our life lately and getting worse. He refuses to do what you ask/say, tells us no, laughs in our faces, acts like a 3 year old with a forbidden sucker and then complains we treat him like a child. I physically can not make him do anything. I finally got his gameboy into my posession tonight. While he was leaving a message for his grandma, I realized that he had laid the game down. Just as he hung up, I literally RAN through the house to grab it and had to actually tackle it on the chair it was lying on. He was hot on my heels (I had to push him while I was running........I should join the Colts as a receiver or something) and he actually tried to wrestle it away from me. (But he's not acting like a child)
I'm just so unbelievably frustrated and sick of all of his . I know in some ways I'm lucky because there are a lot worse things that could be going on but I still don't honestly know how much I can take. I feel like I've long since passed the end of my rope and everytime I try to grab the end, I get ahold of a frayed section that only stays connected for a short time and then I'm frantically reaching for another strand.
I called his case manager from the counseling/services office we go through. Poor thing.....I knew I wouldn't get a definate solution from her simply because there isn't one...I just wanted to vent I guess. But now she feels bad because there's nothing she can really do or say to help and we both know it. But yet she knows how frustrating it is. He pulls the same with her at school. (She and some others sit in class with him....as an example... she told me tonight that he was drawing and marking in one of his text books in class the other day, using a blue marker. She told him to stop and he flat out told her no. So she tried to get it from him and he did the same thing with her as he does with me...holds it away, behind the back...whatever works. She finally grabbed it from him when he wasn't paying attention. The teacher then gave them worksheets to do and he demanded his pen/marker back. She asked him if he was still going to mark in his book and he said yes so she told him that he wasn't getting it back until the end of class. So there's just one more flipping thing husband and I will get to pay for.)
It really takes a lot to make me cry and I've been on the verge of tears all night. I'm so tense my neck, shoulders, and upper back are killing me. He could walk out that door right now and I don't honestly know how much I would really care. Which kind of scares me because he's slowly killing any positive emotions that I feel for him and I don't want to see that happen. But then again, there are times that I don't even care if that happens.
There really isn't any respite options, family either isn't in the school district (and too far to take him to school) or isn't healthy enough to deal with him. None of our friends can take him and I wouldn't do that to them. The ones that are close are the ones who don't fully grasp the situation and I don't want to lose what few friends I have.
I'm just..........done......fed up....beyond fed up....I don't know what I am anymore.
Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading this far if you've stuck around. Guess I just needed to vent some more.
This morning I stuck difficult child's gameboy in my room to make sure he didn't take it to school. I forgot and locked it in there so he wasn't able to get to it when he got home. He called me on my cell FIVE MINUTES after getting home, all spazed out because he didn't have that game in his hands right then and there. To me, if you're jonesing that bad for a video game, there's a problem. When I got home I gave it to him with the condition that he had a two hour limit. I explained my reasoning for this (see above comment about jonesing) and of course that went over oh so well. I then told him that he could continue to argue with me and lose the two hours completely or stop and be able to play. He kept arguing so I told him to give it to me. He's holding it behind him, above his head, anywhere I can't get to it, all the while telling me no. At this point he's also going into his speil about how I treat him like a kid, he's growing up/almost 18, I'm controlling and overbearing...etc. My responses range from "my house, my rules" to "I'm the parent, that's my job" He then decides that he doesn't want to live here anymore and demands I give him his Grandmother's number (bio) so he can call her and go live with her. (Two hours away) When I immediately got it, I think I threw him for a second because he didn't call her right away, but instead tried the whole "you're controlling and overbearing" bit again. When that didn't work, he then called his grandma and left a message for her to call him because he needs to talk to her. (And no, she won't let him live with her.) by the way......husband wasn't home and isn't home a lot in the evenings so I get to enjoy the fun that is my life bymyself a lot of the time. (It's not by choice that he isn't here.....he works retail)
This has been our life lately and getting worse. He refuses to do what you ask/say, tells us no, laughs in our faces, acts like a 3 year old with a forbidden sucker and then complains we treat him like a child. I physically can not make him do anything. I finally got his gameboy into my posession tonight. While he was leaving a message for his grandma, I realized that he had laid the game down. Just as he hung up, I literally RAN through the house to grab it and had to actually tackle it on the chair it was lying on. He was hot on my heels (I had to push him while I was running........I should join the Colts as a receiver or something) and he actually tried to wrestle it away from me. (But he's not acting like a child)
I'm just so unbelievably frustrated and sick of all of his . I know in some ways I'm lucky because there are a lot worse things that could be going on but I still don't honestly know how much I can take. I feel like I've long since passed the end of my rope and everytime I try to grab the end, I get ahold of a frayed section that only stays connected for a short time and then I'm frantically reaching for another strand.
I called his case manager from the counseling/services office we go through. Poor thing.....I knew I wouldn't get a definate solution from her simply because there isn't one...I just wanted to vent I guess. But now she feels bad because there's nothing she can really do or say to help and we both know it. But yet she knows how frustrating it is. He pulls the same with her at school. (She and some others sit in class with him....as an example... she told me tonight that he was drawing and marking in one of his text books in class the other day, using a blue marker. She told him to stop and he flat out told her no. So she tried to get it from him and he did the same thing with her as he does with me...holds it away, behind the back...whatever works. She finally grabbed it from him when he wasn't paying attention. The teacher then gave them worksheets to do and he demanded his pen/marker back. She asked him if he was still going to mark in his book and he said yes so she told him that he wasn't getting it back until the end of class. So there's just one more flipping thing husband and I will get to pay for.)
It really takes a lot to make me cry and I've been on the verge of tears all night. I'm so tense my neck, shoulders, and upper back are killing me. He could walk out that door right now and I don't honestly know how much I would really care. Which kind of scares me because he's slowly killing any positive emotions that I feel for him and I don't want to see that happen. But then again, there are times that I don't even care if that happens.
There really isn't any respite options, family either isn't in the school district (and too far to take him to school) or isn't healthy enough to deal with him. None of our friends can take him and I wouldn't do that to them. The ones that are close are the ones who don't fully grasp the situation and I don't want to lose what few friends I have.
I'm just..........done......fed up....beyond fed up....I don't know what I am anymore.
Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading this far if you've stuck around. Guess I just needed to vent some more.