difficult child is still up to the same tricks with the exception of the life of crime (or being caught). She is still floating from place to place, man bed to mans bed, working anyone she can to get her needs met. She has floated around the province for the last 10 months doing God only knows what, only contacting me when she needs something. She was up North for 4.5 months and started calling, saying that she was living on the street, had nothing, blah, blah, you know the story and wanted to come home. I told her that she was more than welcome to come home on the understanding that she would have to take the first treatment bed that became available for her. She agreed... (or manipulated me into thinking that maybe she was ready to change)
Home she came on a Thursday, and by Tuesday we found her a bed in the lower mainland. Off we went, on the ferry, spent the night in Vancouver, took her to the Treatment place in the am and she refused to stay!! I was livid. And I left her there. She made it back to our town about a week later (like I said, very "resourceful"), stayed here (in town NOT at my house) for a few weeks, took back off to Vancouver with a guy who quickly grew tired of her and then shipped her off to the Island, where she stayed for 6 weeks (where?? no clue, dont wanna know).
She has been back in our town for the last several months, on welfare, but up until Wed, floating from place to place, sleeping with God knows who to get what she wants, and sees nothing wrong with the way that she is living. She only calls when she wants something and the conversation goes like this. "Hi Mom, Can I ask you a question?" Im SO sick of it.
She wont help herself, she wont look for a job, but wants to take me for coffee when she gets "paid" next week. She has just started paying by the week at a hotel but can only eat things that can be cooked with boiling water and are non perishable as there is no kitchenette, micro, or fridge.
I am having such a hard time being nice to her. I wouldnt be friends with someone who acts the way she does, so how do you be nice? I cant make small talk with her, I dont want to know/approve of what she is doing, so I pretty much have nothing to say but to nag her to change, which of course, doesnt work. I dont really want to be seen with her because of the people that she associates with (drug dealers, scumbags, etc) I think that she is trying in her own funny way, but I dont think that I have it in me to try. Im tired of being kicked, Im tired of being taken advantage of, Im tired of giving to her especially when she thinks she is above everyone and expects it, and that she shouldnt have to work to provide for herself.
How do I get rid of these feelings? How do I start to be nice to her again? How do we(I) start to rebuild our relationship? Im not willing to bring her back into our family and pretend that everything is hunky dory, I cant put the rest of the family, or myself, through that again. Anyone have any advice??
Thanks
Ally
Home she came on a Thursday, and by Tuesday we found her a bed in the lower mainland. Off we went, on the ferry, spent the night in Vancouver, took her to the Treatment place in the am and she refused to stay!! I was livid. And I left her there. She made it back to our town about a week later (like I said, very "resourceful"), stayed here (in town NOT at my house) for a few weeks, took back off to Vancouver with a guy who quickly grew tired of her and then shipped her off to the Island, where she stayed for 6 weeks (where?? no clue, dont wanna know).
She has been back in our town for the last several months, on welfare, but up until Wed, floating from place to place, sleeping with God knows who to get what she wants, and sees nothing wrong with the way that she is living. She only calls when she wants something and the conversation goes like this. "Hi Mom, Can I ask you a question?" Im SO sick of it.
She wont help herself, she wont look for a job, but wants to take me for coffee when she gets "paid" next week. She has just started paying by the week at a hotel but can only eat things that can be cooked with boiling water and are non perishable as there is no kitchenette, micro, or fridge.
I am having such a hard time being nice to her. I wouldnt be friends with someone who acts the way she does, so how do you be nice? I cant make small talk with her, I dont want to know/approve of what she is doing, so I pretty much have nothing to say but to nag her to change, which of course, doesnt work. I dont really want to be seen with her because of the people that she associates with (drug dealers, scumbags, etc) I think that she is trying in her own funny way, but I dont think that I have it in me to try. Im tired of being kicked, Im tired of being taken advantage of, Im tired of giving to her especially when she thinks she is above everyone and expects it, and that she shouldnt have to work to provide for herself.
How do I get rid of these feelings? How do I start to be nice to her again? How do we(I) start to rebuild our relationship? Im not willing to bring her back into our family and pretend that everything is hunky dory, I cant put the rest of the family, or myself, through that again. Anyone have any advice??
Thanks
Ally
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