As you know, this country gives a person little time to recover, grieve for a lost loved one. If you get a week to process you are extremely lucky. I'm currently being bombarded by calls, crisis's & school issues. I've yet to leave my house since husband's funeral. Tomorrow I must enter the real world to attend some of my own appointments, an appointment at school for kt & a therapist appointment for kt. The next day is more of the same. kt was supposed to go to therapist but locked herself in the bathroom & crisis team was called out. After all was said & done PCA hauled kt off to a movie (a comedy - "I need to laugh & forget, mom"). For the first time since husband died I have time to myself. I'm numb ....... I'm stumbling thru day to day & barely accomplishing anything. I sleep when I can .... when I can't sleep I stay buried under my blankets. For the first time since I've become a parent, I have little to nothing left for my children. When does this get easier? When does that heavy lump in my throat go away? I guess I have questions that can't be answered ~ "it's just a matter of time". I'm so tired of hearing that & it's not been 2 weeks since husband has died. Just needed to talk.