medications NOT WORKING...

[Debdeb1031]

Well fantasy island no more....Chris was doing so well...and now he has crashed...i don't know if it is because he has been eating carbs (still on diet but sneaks) or if the medications are just not working anymore..he wants and wants, and when he doesn't get his way BAM!!! instant screaming and cursing...we went to the store today, and he asked for a cap gun...since i wasn't in the mood to argue with him and also because he was very good this morning, i gave in, so he bought a cap gun with the "bullets"...well it seemed he bought the wrong kind of "bullets"...when he realized that they were the wrong ones, he starts yelling and cursing at me, as if i was the one who had picked them out....then 10 minutes later he wants a hug and kiss....i don't, because when i say no to the affection he seems to actually feel regret for his actions, and my lovely boy is there with me for a few minutes at least...he cries and tells me he doesn't know what's wrong with him...usually i cry with him and tell him how much i love him...then two hours later it is the same thing all over again...it makes me wonder if he realizes what he is saying or doing at the time of melt down...if he realizes it, then shouldn't he be able to control it???so on the 18th i go back yet again to his shrink (dr. downs is her name if you can believe :smile: ) and pray i find that magic pill that will bring back the real chris, and not this monster who makes everyone miserable....on the cup is full side....no problems whatsoever at school....<knocking on wood> yet....

 

[branbran]

Isn't the medication maze fun?? It is so disheartening to keep trying new medications, getting your hopes up only to be ultimately disappointed. So many times I thought we found that magic bullet, for some reason the first few weeks of the medication trial is like a honeymoon period, everything is so wonderful and then BAM, there goes an episode and then another and another, back to square one. I wish I had a dollar for everytime that has happened to us. It is just so frustrating. I often become very discouraged, I get into the why bother phase and just feel like giving up. Then cooler heads prevail and back to the drawing board we go. We have been going through this for about 5 years now and still are in the experimental stage. Pretty sad huh?

I too can't understand why our children continue to repeat the same behaviors and receive the same consequences, it's like they weren't really there the first 100 times they went through it. In my case I really do believe some of my daughter's behavior is just not in her control and she is unable to learn from her mistakes. That just scares the bejeesus out of me!!!

Keep knocking on wood, that is great that your son does'nt have any problems in school. As many of us here know, dealing with the school with regards to behavior issues can sometimes be more unbearable than dealing with our difficult children!!

Hang in there. :smile:

 

[timer lady]

The medication merry go round is a hugely frustrating part of parenting a difficult child.

I can't tell you the number of medications the tweedles have trialed; how many have worked for a period of time - the others that had some adverse reactions or no impact at all.

At this time, kt & wm are as good as it gets medication wise. As most of their diagnosis is emotional it will be therapeutic interventions that will make some difference.

I hope you hit the right medication combination that helps your difficult child function to his highest level.

(((hugs)))

 

[Josie]

My daughter's ODD/depression completely went away by the gluten/casein free diet. If she cheats, the old difficult child is back. I can tell when I pick her up from school, before we even get out of the parking lot, that she has cheated. The no carb diet your son was on before would have been pretty gluten free. If he is now cheating and having normal carbs, unless they are rice, potatoes, or corn, it could easily affect his behaviour.

What kinds of things is he eating when he is cheating? I suggest you send him something to take its place. If he has to have carbs, try gluten free carbs. I think the only way to keep a kid on a restrictive diet is to make it as easy as possible for them by providing things they will see as treats.

There aren't many people, especially doctors, who will tell you that diet will work. You can find out about it on the internet from other people who have experienced it, but if you haven't experienced it, it seems incredible. Even difficult child's psychiatrist, who has seen the results in difficult child, tends to think it is just her maturing. Even though, she was headed to an antipsychotic on top of her a/d, and now is on nothing and doing great.

Maybe it isn't just diet in your son's case. Since you have already noticed a possible connection between his diet and behaviour, it is worth pursuing. I think difficult child's behaviour would never have been controlled by medicine for long if she had continued to eat gluten and casein.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Deb,

I hope the appointment on the 18th goes well. Living with difficult children is so hard. From reading your signature, I see that you and I have something in common. We both have three children close in age with the older two being boys and difficult children, and the youngest being girls and PCs. Even when the medications are working, I've found life to be extremely challenging!!!

I hope the psychiatrist is able to give Chris the right medications and he improves soon. I don't know why, but my difficult children always repeat their negative patterns of behavior too. Sometimes I think they can't help it, and other times I think they must find something satisfying from doing it. Do you think Chris is enjoying all the extra attention you're giving him after his "melt-down"?

Some of the best advice I was given from difficult child 1's therapist is when dealing with difficult children's negative behavior, say as little as possible. I had to teach myself not to raise my voice or let them know that they have had a negative effect on me. I had to learn to respond in short five or six word sentences. I had to learn to walk away and ignore the negative behavior as much as possible. It helps but I HATE having to live like this!!!

Well, I hope today is a better day for you...WFEN

 

[nvts]

Hi! Debdeb, I feel your pain. We're just starting the rollercoaster of medications (difficult child 1 has been on Concerta for 2 years and it's losing its edge).

With all due respect: try "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Our "dude" has started respecting Basket B and the meltdowns have really slowed down in both frequency and intensity. I see so much of him in how you describe Chris' outbursts. I cringe just thinking about it! Believe it or not, over the last few months, he's actually tried using the line "Mom, I know you want "X" and I want "Y". Why don't we try to find something that will make BOTH of us a little bit happy." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

I'll be prayin' for ya'!

Beth

 

[tired Cheryl]

Hi DebDeb:

Sorry that you were not able to inhabit "fantasy island" for very long. These rollercoasters are exhausting aren't they?

I can really relate to you not wanting to hug and kiss ten minutes after a meltdown. I feel the same way. After being hit on, spit on, scratched and told how much I am hated for the most trivial things I am not in the mood for kissing and hugging like nothing happened either. It's not that I am punishing or pushing difficult child away, more like I am not in that place yet after being traumatized physically and emotionally. I know that so much of what is going on with my difficult child is out of his control but it does not make it any easier for me to snap out of defensive mode once he starts attacking me.

"Feeling Battered" was a great subject line by another poster recently because battered is how we feel so often.

I hope that things get better for you and hope that your difficult child not having problems at school continues. That adds an additional layer of issues to deal with.

Take care

 

[2ndChances]

I agree with "Beth" Ross W. Greene's book is great I have both the one she mentioned and
Treating Explosive Kids: The Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach.

Amazon can have it to you overnight
Rhonda

 

[Debdeb1031]

Thanks so much for the great words of kindness, advice, and mostly understanding...only people who are walking in our shoes can really truly understand what goes on...everyone else just thinks (in my opinion) that they are spoiled rotten...lol..i wish that was the case...i have pictures taken of his birthday cakes with happy birthday dr. evil written on it...(we are a weird family...during hockey season we have go rangers written on the cake)...but thanks love and hugs to all of us amazing moms !!!!

 

[prayerful]

I know how you feel my son has been on two medications 1st adderall Xr 30 mg now meadate cd 40 mg and it is not doing any thing for him i told the doctor now she wants him on zoloft ! i am trying to not use my son for a lab rat , but wnat to help him do well. i will be praying for you . :smile:

 

[Debdeb1031]

prayerful...watch your son on the zoloft...chris was on that and at first he was great, then he became more defiant and violent than ever before....not to scare you, just giving personal experience so that you keep your eyes open