My mom stayed with me for the month of September and while she was with us, I think she had a stroke. She is a (very) large woman and I couldn't force her to see my DR - just to have her blood levels checked so we'd know for sure. My sister (M) in PA, who she lives near, promised she'd get mom to the DR when she returned at the end of Sept (which would be about 2 weeks after I think she had the stroke), but M never got mom there because her H's brother went into a coma and they were driving back and forth from PA to Albany non-stop. So, mom never went to the DR at all. She outright refused to cooperate and I truly think it's because she knew something was not quite right and didn't want to go through the battery of tests, medications, etc. She is 85 by the way. So, in early November she went to stay with my sister (S) in WV for a little over a week and while she was there, S noted the same changes that I did - loss of memory, in and out clarity, sporadic loss of continence, really bad forgetfullness, etc. She took mom to her DR and the DR took mom off her lipitor, which she's been on for 5 years since her 5-bypass surgery. The DR said there is no reason or benefit of mom continuing this drug at 85 and after this much time since her surgery. Mom got better in regards to her incontinence off the drug for the remainder of her stay with S. Immediately following this visit with S, mom went to my brother's (E) house in NY for the week of Thanksgiving and my brother also noticed the same changes in her memory and called me concerned because I had called him back in Sept. Immediately from NY my sister (T) took mom home with her to here in CT where she is supposed to stay until after Christmas. I visited there yesterday and T gave me a blow by blow report on mom's "progress", right in front of my mom, which I really didn't like as it makes me feel like we're talking about her like she is the family pet and doesn't understand what we're saying. Everytime my mom would try to interject something, T would talk over her and tell me how great my mom is doing, that her memory is so much better now that she's there and eating right and on a schedule, ! And she put mom back on the lipitor, without any DR input. Well, while I was there, I do not think mom is any better than she was when she was with me. In fact, I think she seems worse. Today, easy child went to visit my mom before she heads back to school and she immediately called me and told me how startled she is by gramma's loss of memory. easy child said she could never get further than 3 topics of discussion because within a minute or so, mom was asking the same questions. She kept asking easy child how long it took her to get there, she forgot my H's name, couldn't remember that I still worked with brother in law or lived in CT. I mean, it scared the heck out of easy child. She was clearly upset over the phone. S, M, E and I all feel that mom should be placed into some type of assisted living place, though none of us are in a position to afford that. I know nothing about the financial circumstances or the way the state takes power of attorney, etc. And T seems to be in denial about the extent of my mom's illness. She does not have alzheimers. She has senility - it only just started but it's progressed so fast. She forget things, sometimes things she puts on the stove. I think part of the reason she doesn't cook for herself anymore is because she's afraid she will forget and start a fire. Toast is safer so she mostly lives on toast and tea and little bad meals that do not need to be cooked like cold cuts or pre-made things she buys at the store. Before any of this mom bought a scooter and now we're all petrified she's going to take it out in the colder weather and hurt herself or another, or possibly get lost! I got the impression that T feels that within this one month stay she will be able to reverse mom's years of abuse and neglect and make her whole again - NOT going to happen! I wasn't even able to have a real conversation with mom at all yesterday because T kept yapping and telling me how 'GREAT mom is doing!". Ugh. Mom is not doing great and as much as it pains me to say it, I pray she dies peacefully in her sleep. My family is so dysfunctional that it will be near impossible to sit together and come up with a viable solution for mom. My other siblings are so afraid to go up against T and I don't know if they will back down against her or finally stand up to her. What do we do?