So difficult child 2 had a bad night last night. He got into a typical teen spat with difficult child 3 over the computer. They managed to wake me up with it.
Being rather irritated that I got woke up at 1am, my mouth ran before my brain started firing on all cylinders. I told them both (in a loud, MOTHER tone) to shut the blankety-blank-blank up and go to bed before I knocked their blankety-blank heads together.
Naturally, that set difficult child 2 off on one of his verbal tyraids. (Like a wild animal who just got a whiff of blood - it only takes a raised, irritated voice to set him off when he's "stuck" like he apparently was before I woke up. My head was too groggy to catch that before I spoke)
In the course of his verbal tyraid, I got the typical "not if I kill everyone/I hate you/you're going to die/I'm going to kill you" line. To which, I'm thinking: Yeah, yeah, we get it. You're upset and saying anything to perpetuate the conflict so you can vent. But could you please hurry up and be done so I can go back to bed?
Of course, I don't say this to him, but it's what I'm thinking.
He then tells difficult child 3 not to stand in the hallway listening in on a private conversation.
I told him his brother wasn't "listening in," he's staying close by to make sure I don't need help.
difficult child 3's response? "Mom, you're not supposed to tell someone that someone else is here, hiding around the corner to act as body guard or back up. You're supposed to just let him go on and on so I have a reason to jump out of the shadows, put him in a choke hold, make him pass out, and we ALL can have some peace and quiet. Really, Mom. It's the fastest way to shut him up and get him unstuck." (He wasn't serious, by the way - he said it like he was reviewing an action scene from a bad B movie - think screaming at the girl not to go in there kind of comment.)
I couldn't help but laugh at his absurd, but straight forward logic - not to mention his very dry delivery/review of the situation. How can I argue with that? He's right, in a weird, morbidly funny kind of way. difficult child 2 can go on for hours with his verbal tyraids. There's no escaping them. You have to stand and listen to them to keep him from escalating further. It's a pain, but far better than the violent outbursts. They usually don't run the 2-3 hours they used to, but they're still draining none the less.
I've had my own days where I wonder if clubbing him over the head with something would be the equivalent of knocking a vending machine when the cans get stuck. Not that I would ever actually do it, but the thought/analogy has crossed my mind more than once.
It's kind of funny to think about it. It was even funnier to be there for it.
What's truly impressive is that difficult child 3's comment even got difficult child 2 to laugh, thus de-escalating the situation like a pin to a balloon. I have to wonder if he did it like that on purpose. He's good at that kind of improv response.
I swear difficult child 3 would make the perfect politician...or comedian. I'm not sure which. lol.
I should probably feel bad that I laughed (and agreed) with difficult child 3's choke hold/head clubbing theory for unsticking a difficult child in mid-tyraid. But I don't. It was funny, and morbidly logical. There are definitely days I have wondered if I could get out of enduring a tyraid by somehow causing difficult child 2 to lose consciousness - via frying pans, rolling pins, anvils, refrigerators, etc. (Think Bugs Bunny cartoon solutions. I do.)
Being rather irritated that I got woke up at 1am, my mouth ran before my brain started firing on all cylinders. I told them both (in a loud, MOTHER tone) to shut the blankety-blank-blank up and go to bed before I knocked their blankety-blank heads together.
Naturally, that set difficult child 2 off on one of his verbal tyraids. (Like a wild animal who just got a whiff of blood - it only takes a raised, irritated voice to set him off when he's "stuck" like he apparently was before I woke up. My head was too groggy to catch that before I spoke)
In the course of his verbal tyraid, I got the typical "not if I kill everyone/I hate you/you're going to die/I'm going to kill you" line. To which, I'm thinking: Yeah, yeah, we get it. You're upset and saying anything to perpetuate the conflict so you can vent. But could you please hurry up and be done so I can go back to bed?
Of course, I don't say this to him, but it's what I'm thinking.
He then tells difficult child 3 not to stand in the hallway listening in on a private conversation.
I told him his brother wasn't "listening in," he's staying close by to make sure I don't need help.
difficult child 3's response? "Mom, you're not supposed to tell someone that someone else is here, hiding around the corner to act as body guard or back up. You're supposed to just let him go on and on so I have a reason to jump out of the shadows, put him in a choke hold, make him pass out, and we ALL can have some peace and quiet. Really, Mom. It's the fastest way to shut him up and get him unstuck." (He wasn't serious, by the way - he said it like he was reviewing an action scene from a bad B movie - think screaming at the girl not to go in there kind of comment.)
I couldn't help but laugh at his absurd, but straight forward logic - not to mention his very dry delivery/review of the situation. How can I argue with that? He's right, in a weird, morbidly funny kind of way. difficult child 2 can go on for hours with his verbal tyraids. There's no escaping them. You have to stand and listen to them to keep him from escalating further. It's a pain, but far better than the violent outbursts. They usually don't run the 2-3 hours they used to, but they're still draining none the less.
I've had my own days where I wonder if clubbing him over the head with something would be the equivalent of knocking a vending machine when the cans get stuck. Not that I would ever actually do it, but the thought/analogy has crossed my mind more than once.
It's kind of funny to think about it. It was even funnier to be there for it.
What's truly impressive is that difficult child 3's comment even got difficult child 2 to laugh, thus de-escalating the situation like a pin to a balloon. I have to wonder if he did it like that on purpose. He's good at that kind of improv response.
I swear difficult child 3 would make the perfect politician...or comedian. I'm not sure which. lol.
I should probably feel bad that I laughed (and agreed) with difficult child 3's choke hold/head clubbing theory for unsticking a difficult child in mid-tyraid. But I don't. It was funny, and morbidly logical. There are definitely days I have wondered if I could get out of enduring a tyraid by somehow causing difficult child 2 to lose consciousness - via frying pans, rolling pins, anvils, refrigerators, etc. (Think Bugs Bunny cartoon solutions. I do.)