My oldest son is 31 and has never lived on his own. He hasn't lived with me for eight years however. I spent several years encouraging him to get a job and plan for his future. He had no desire for college. He bounced from job to job to job. He refused to "work" his way up to a good position. He felt he was good enough to start at the top so he would quit if he couldn't get the position he wanted. He refused to pay room and board so I eventually made him leave when he was 21. He simply moved in with friends and bounced from friend to friend never paying the agreed upon rent or sharing in chores so would get kicked out. I took him in one time when he was homeless because I am a mom and felt sorry but it was a mistake. He took advantage of me. Refused to look for a job for months. Laid on the couch and didn't even bathe. I made him leave again out of frustration. He has since continued to bounce from job to unemployment to job and from friends house to friends house and somehow he has found one who's allowing him to live there rent free. He calls me occasionally to tell me that I am a horrible mother for not allowing him to live with me and take care of him since he doesn't have a job that will support him. He says it is my job as a parent to take care of him. Since I won't I am a horrible person. You wouldn't believe the horrible things I have been called. I have three other children I have raised the same way and they are completely self-sufficient and mature and love me. What is wrong? Has anyone else experienced this? Could this be some sort of personality disorder? I am at my wits end with the hurtful insults and just don't understand how a 31 year old can't grow up and still expects mommy to take care of him. It's not like I have been an enabler.