My Adult Son is Stealing Underwear

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Cherries, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. Cherries

    Cherries New Member

    I need all the help I can get, that's why it's so detailed. I don't even know what to think. Thanks....

    A few months ago, I found stolen panties in my difficult child's apartment. There were even pantyliners and maxi pads (new) there (why!?).He told me he stole the underwear from the apartment's laundry room. I bagged them up,and threw them all out. Must have been around 80 to 100 pairs.

    Not much else was said. I asked my sister, and she told me about "Panty Raids" and that he probably masturbated in them. He also hasn't had a girlfriend since High School, and that only lasted 1-2 months.

    However, since then he's been living at home and I have caught him more than a dozen times, red handed, rifling through my underwear draw. He denied it every time, even though HE KNOWS I SAW HIM. I’ve also been noticing some of my kotex pads missing, too (again, why?!)

    He takes from his younger sister's, too. We've both been noticing missing panties for well over 6 or 7 years now but never thought too much about it until now. My easy child over the last 2 years now takes ALL of her underwear back to school with her, and now I see why

    I guess the most relieving bit is that it always seems to be clean panties he takes. Thank god for that, I guess.

    Now that I think about everything, I'm certain he's been doing this since he was a young teen.

    I don't care that he has a panty fetish. What I do care is that he stole hundreds of pairs from an apartment laundry facility, and is going through mine and his sisters' underwear.

    How would you have reacted initially? How would you react if you saw your teen or adult son going through YOUR underwear? What do I do now?! How can I get him to leave both mine and my daughter’s underwear alone!? Should I be concerned?
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If it were me, I'd be concerned. Where is he getting all the underwear? Is he stealing them? I'm not sure, however, why men steal underwear. I know some do. I have no idea what it means.
    If your son is of legal age, you can tell him to either get help so that he can possibly learn to stop doing it or he can't live at home because you need your underwear!! Other than that, you have no control over the situation. I would, however, encourage him greatly to get psychiatric help for this. It is bound to get him into a lot of trouble, if only for stealing.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

     
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    We had this issue with-my son taking from the neighbor's house. They called the police. That took care of that.
    Except that he thinks very literally, and since he knew he couldn't take from a stranger's house, he started taking from our house. Ruined his relationship with-his sister. :( I offered to buy him new ones from the mall and he insisted he didn't want them. We found a list in his room 2 yrs later with-names written on it, luckily only 3 names, so that narrowed it down. He wanted the underwear from specific people.
    I was relieved it was an inanimate object and he was too shy and scared to create a relationship. Or force one. :(
    We went through a lot at the therapist's office, and I'm glad that we were able to talk about this when he was young.
    Aspies can collect strange things, and are not always the best at relationships.
    But I don't know your son's diagnosis.
    And he is much older.
    I feel for you.
     
  5. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    An other family here with this same problem. When difficult child 2 was about 14 I asked his twin to collect the dirty clothes from his bro's floor and put it in the laundry. I found a number of girl's panties as well as my own in the pile. I later also found sanitary napkins and tampons (clean!) in his closet. Needless to say, I was appalled. He stopped doing that and I never got a clear answer to my questions.
     
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