My cousin has had enough

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mstang67chic, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    I took my niece to the zoo yesterday and called my cousin C to see if she wanted to go too. She does hair and had appointments but said she would call later as she had some things to tell me. Turns out, she had a heck of a night Friday night.

    A little back story first. C and her husband A have been married 19 years and started dating in middle school. A just turned 40, C is 39 and has been with A since she was 14. A was a bad boy of sorts....kind of rough and partied a lot. He's had arrests over the years that were drug and/or alcohol related but somehow, hasn't been charged/convicted of a our state anyway. He has a felony conviction in Florida but somehow that never was added to his file here as he has a legal gun permit. C has ....I don't know if I want to say stood by him but she's hung in there. As she said last night, you get married for better and for worse and she kept waiting on the better. A is without a doubt a difficult child. As I said, drinking, drugs of all kinds and he has been known to deal before. On the other hand though, he's NEVER laid a hand on C, ever. They have 3 boys (16, 13 and 10) and A is very involved in Scouts with them, takes them fishing, camping, etc., he's one that will help anyone and has a knack for coming across abused or neglected dogs and bringing them home. On yet another hand, even sober, he can be a walking rectum.

    Anyhoo....last night, A had been somewhere, we don't know where, and got drunk. He showed up to the Moose lodge drunk and on his motorcycle and hung out with his brother in law D for awhile. When he tried to leave, D, being responsible, wouldn't let him and at some point popped the plugs out of A's bike so he couldn't leave. He was just entirely too drunk to walk let alone drive his cycle home. He called C to come get him and when she got there, people were holding onto A. Turns out he was trying to go after D because D wouldn't let him leave on his own. They finally get A into the car and C starts to drive home, which as it turns out, was only about 5 minutes from the Moose. A is cussing about God knows what the whole way and at one point tells C that she's not driving fast enough even though the speed limit there was 25 or 30 and that's what she was doing. They get almost home when A decides he's had enough and jumps out of the car but forgets to let go. He got drug a bit until C could get the car stopped but apparently it didn't hurt him. She got into the house before him, told the 2 boys who were home to take the dogs and go upstairs because A was really drunk and it wasn't going to be pretty. A comes into the house, still going off about D, went into their room and got a gun out. Fortunately C had known for weeks that something was going to happen and had unloaded the gun and hid all of the bullets. While she was trying to text Dan to tell him not to come (he was bringing A's motorcycle home) he pulled up. A tears out of the house with C on his heels and before she can do anything, A is in D's face, has the gun pointed at him and PULLS THE TRIGGER. C is yelling that the gun wasn't loaded but I'm sure D still about ruined his shorts. D wrestled the gun away from A and wound up leaving, taking it with him. A goes back into the house and pulls out ANOTHER gun that C didn't even know he had. THIS one WAS loaded. As she's trying to block his way out, he pushes her up against the wall and points the gun at her while saying that she doesn't want to mess with him and needs to get out of his way. She has one hand on his gun hand, her cell in the other and is dialing 911. At some poing, A shot the gun twice in the house, once when C had her hand on it pushing it up away from her head. SHe's fine other than a powder burn on her hand from the first shot. A winds up back outside but fortunately for him, has thrown the gun into the neighbor's bushes before the police got there.

    He's now in jail and she's done. She had decided about 6 weeks ago and started looking for a full time job...she does hair and works at her church part time as the accounting person. C said she thought he would have just crashed/hit bottom but didn't see that whole incident coming at all.

    He'll have his initial court tomorrow and hopefully won't get bailed out. There's an automatic 30 day restraining order in effect and when he is out and comes to get his clothes, he will be escorted by officers. I think C though will have his suitcase packed and on the front porch so she doesn't have to let him in.

    If you could send some good thoughts her way I would appreciate it. I took her out last night to hear my dad's band play and we had a good time. I know though....the next who knows how long is going to be rough for her and the kids.
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    She'll certainly be in our thoughts! If you want to PM me with info next time we need hair cuts we'll make an appointment with her. With the couponing I've got extra stuff, if there's something specific she and the kids need let me know and I'll see if I have it.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Oh Stang, this just pulls at my heart strings. I am glad she has finally called it quits and hope she STICKS TO IT. I hope the emotional wounds she and the boys will have for awhile heal quickly. I will keep them in my prayers and I'll do some pretzeling that he doesn't get out!
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Stang! How scary for everyone. Wow. Im so glad no one was hurt. Guns and alcohol never mix well. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    WOW! (((((HUGS)))))) to you, C and the kids. Prayers of strength going out to all of you.
  6. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    She is in my thoughts and sending good vibes her way.

    It's going to be rough for her but better than the alternative - how terrifying to have a gun go off in the house.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Saying prayers, sending good thoughts.

    Have her make a visit to the DV shelter. You won't believe what all they can help her with. If I were her, first charge I'd make is attempted murder. No sh*t!!! And I'd do whatever it took to make it stick. And if D is smart, he'll do the same.........A did NOT know that gun was NOT loaded, therefore it's still attempted murder.

    I'd advise her not to candy coat this in any way shape or form. The man is highly likely to come after her next, especially for being POed he's sat in jail. Get her in close contact with the DV shelter, and if she needs to go there, she needs to go there. They can even help find her full time work lots of times.

  8. keista

    keista New Member

    I agree. I was wondering why she didn't call 911 right then. D would have been dead if you hadn't previously removed those bullets.

    So glad actual damage was 'minimal'
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Please make sure she goes to a DV center and gets help for herself and the boys. Alanon/narcanon is also crucial for her and at least the teen boys. The charges need to include DV, attempted murder, reckless discharge of a firearm (lesser included in some areas) and the family needs to make it super clear to A that he is responsible if any of them (C or the boys) gets even a hangnail after he is out. She also NEEDS to move ALL the funds out of any joint accounts ASAP and into accounts either in her name or in the boys' name/names with her as the only legal guardian. That will protect the boys. She also NEEDS to file immediately for sole custody of the boys - even in jail he could wrangle parental rights and it would be awful for the boys. The DV center will help her with a pro bono lawyer to help with all of this. Anything she can squirrel awayis good. Many prayers for all of you.
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Attempted Murder in both the incident with D and with C. He's not going anywhere. I hope that she will call the DA and inform them of the Florida charges. She is doing the right thing by getting on with her life, it will be all the easier if there is no chance that A is going to be in her face trying to make her doubt herself.
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    How scary! Hugs and prayers going out.
  12. Mamaof5

    Mamaof5 Guest

    All my beads are rattling and crossables crossed. Board ju ju on the way for C. Send her BIG BIG hugs for me please. What a way to end a relationship, she's better off though.
  13. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Holy ****! Thoughts and prayers going out...
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    OMG.OMG. She came so close.
    Good for C and D. They need to ... uh, stick to their guns. (Sorry.)
    My heart was beating harder and harder as I read your note.
    I'm sending strength, clarity, and peace.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very scary. Adding in my prayers and good thoughts.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I'm confused.....did she LEAVE the gun in the bushes? Or did she tell the police where it was AFTER they got there? -

    Is it just HER pressing charges or is D going to press charges as well?

    Has he (A) said anything and how are the kids holding up? I'm sure they saw it all - and HOW in the world one of them wasn't killed from a ricochet bulled fired into that house is a complete miracle.

    Sending her all my strenght to stay away - and stay away from it for good. Get her a book called Black and Bruised. Easy reading while she's recovering.

  17. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Unless it was loaded with safety rounds (which are designed to shatter on impact with a relatively hard surface like a wall) inside a house you run a much higher risk the round will punch through the wall to hit someone rather than ricochet. Either way it's very lucky a powder burn is the worst of the physical injuries.
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was afraid that the bullet went through the wall and hurt someone too. Bullets dont normally ricochet off of drywall, they go right through it. And wood. I was scared for your whole family!
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Just making sure she stays strong today. There's a lot of legal work ahead. Not to mention locksmiths to call.
  20. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    *HUGS* and good thoughts, rattling beads, pretzeling... Please - as others have said - try to get her to a DV place - they can help.