My Inlaws have gone too far

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dara, May 19, 2007.

  1. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I am ready to explode. I have had it! :grrr: THese people have no respect for us and definatly dont have any respect for Sammy. Everything is all about my almost 8 year old neice. They dont care about Sammys schedule or anything and just show up! I understand that her parents do nothing with her. I understand that she loves Sammy. They do not come over here unless they have my neice with them. And then, they sit in front of the TV while we are running after 2 kids and 2 dogs. Tonight however, put me over the edge. My husband had to go away on business. He is coming home on tuesday morning. My inlaws said "We want to come over and help you out" "oh, by the way neices ballet recital is in the afternoon, Sasha (the other lab who lives with them) will stay by you and we might not be home in time to feed him" Because walking to dogs and having a difficult child in a stroller is really possible :hammer:
    They get here at 10am (they live 10 minutes away) and leave after lunch then come back with my neice without letting me know and stay until 7:15. I told them I wanted some alone time with Sammy and they still wouldnt leave. Not to mention That Neice took Sammy into the bathroom in a split second before I could Catch the door, put my son on the toilet who then fell in. I lost it. I screamed at her for that one. That ends the potty training idea because he was terrified. To top it all off, My inlaws made a commitment to us to watch Sammy so i could get to the airport and suddenly they decide that Neice is going to san antonio so they have to go and the will not come back on thursday, only friday and by the way Sammy is done with school and I will have both dogs, husband took off that week to help.
    I am ready to explode with these people!!!
    Sorry for the long post and thanks for the ears!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh-I'm sorry! Hugs. :angel:
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so sorry. That really stinks.

    I'd say some boundries need to be set with the inlaws.

    My problem wasn't with inlaws it was with my own Mom. The woman nearly drove me and husband insane when we were first married. She'd drop in without notice at all hours, then bang on all of the windows calling my name til I'd answer the door. And she called at all hours of the day and night. :slap: (and she wondered why I moved 2 states away lmao)

    I had to sit down and have a major talk with my Mom. It wasn't pleasant, but it did the trick. I think it's time that husband let his parents know that they're overstepping boundries, and to set some limits.
  4. wldinnh

    wldinnh New Member

    Years ago when I was a easy child (ha-ha!) and door-to-door sales were more common, I remember my mom telling my dad some salesperson would just not leave no matter how many times she told him she wasn't interested in the product. My dad told her to just walk out of the house next time, and the sales person would follow after her, and then she could walk back in and shut the door in his face! Try a version of that: When the pesky in-laws show up un-announced or won't leave, say "Sammy and I need to go out now" and walk outside, hold the door open and hopefully they'll follow you right out too! When they ask when you'll be back and where you're going, be vague. "We're going out and about for awhile." Of course, say it all with a sweet smile on your face so they are confused on if they're being ditched or not!!
    Drive around for 5 minutes and then go home knowing you successfully ditched them!
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Don't know what to tell you. It may be that a chat will help the situation.
  6. ALogan3

    ALogan3 New Member

    I am so sorry!!

    Maybe try to NOT answer the phone??
    Drastic times call for drastic meansures and your inlaws are drastic!!

    Ending potty training is about a final straw!!

    Come on!!

    {~{~{~{~{~{~Huge Hugs!~}~}~}~}~}~}
  7. Dara

    Dara New Member

    It has been an interesting turn of events now. My brother in law told my husband that My mother in law said in front of the neice "Aunt Dara really wants to see Neice in her ballet outfit" So it is really pure canniving manipulation and lies to get what she wants. My husband called her and told her that this was over. If she wants neice to come over here, call and ask first 9x out of 10 it is ok. That taking neice is her responsability not ours. If you want to take her for the day than YOU take her not drop her in our laps. Basically she hung up on him.
    Hopefully she will still babysit on the 26th for our 5 year anniversary! I doubt it thuogh! Oh the Drama!
  8. ALogan3

    ALogan3 New Member

    Thank God

    and I pray they still babysit!!


  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Dara, maybe the best thing you can do is not rely on mother in law to babysit for you, either. After all, if Niece dropped Sammy down the toilet while mother in law was at your house, how responsible is mother in law with Sammy?

    Niece may be a really nice kid, it doesn't sound like her fault. It DOES sound like mother in law is wanting to be helpful to everybody, in theory, but in practice just doesn't want the workload and so dumps it.

    I wouldn't leave my kid with someone like that.

    Also, to be beholden to someone like that is not good. Having to owe her some sort of favour for her babysitting for you - it would be better to stay home, because it makes it that much harder for you to say 'no' to her.

    Something husband & I have done on an anniversary - we postponed our ACTUAL celebration to a more convenient time, but on the night itself we ordered takeaway something nice, sat on the floor in our pyjamas and had a quiet dinner ourselves, just the two of us, with the kids in bed and the phone off the hook.

  10. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I don't think your inlaws have gone too far. I think they haven't gone far enough.
    Far enough AWAY, that is!!!
  11. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Cheers to your husband for standing up to his mother! I hope that you can still go out to celebrate your anniversary.
    Good luck
  12. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Good for husband for taking a stand. :bravo:
  13. 3babygirls

    3babygirls New Member

    Whoever invented caller id was a very very smart individual. lol Probably was a woman I bet. lol I just don't answer the phone when I don't wanna be bothered and if I really don't wanna be bothered I shut off the ringers too. lol
  14. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I think they are still coming to babysit becuase they would look really bad if they didnt since they are coming that monday to drop Sasha (our other dog) off for a week. Sasha is a very easy dog but to walk Sasha, Henson and Sammy together...Not possible! They pretty much left me alone yesterday and Sammy is still saying "Potty fell" so he remembers and goes over and closes the door to the bathroom... poor kid!