jodyanelson
New Member
the past 2 years have been a freken mess i have been dealing with my sons bi polar and husbands alcoholism and a 15 yr old that had a baby and my 19 yr old going off to collage i feel as my life is falling apart oh yeah and did i forget to mention my mother in law who i love dearly is going to die in the next week .I have this fantasy that i will win the lottery and it will fix everything but in my heart i iknow it wont .... let me start by saying threw all of this i have still matianed some of my sanity thank god for my 3 youngest children who have no clue whats going on. I feel like i am a bad mom because i do not want my 18 yr old in my home and i know if i kick him out he will just get into trouble or go to jail but i know its not healthy for him to be in my home where he talks badly to his 4 and 5 yr old brother and sister and i do not trust him at all but still the same i do love him he is my child .. **** i think i am just rambling please deal with me . my husband has been sober for a few months but with his mom dieing i know he will start again my ex husband let my 15 daughter and my granddaughter go live with her boyfriend and now i hardly see them today is a bad day i just want to run away but i know i couldnt i have to many responsibility that for some reason falls on me and no one else . is it wrong for me to feel like i have had enough and want to walk away from everything ? the this I have said are just a drop in the bucket but they are some of the bi one that have me going crazy at the moment thanks for listening