flnurse1976
New Member
Hello, new to this forum and was seeking advise. My story is long but I will try to make it short. Me and my husband have an 18 year old daughter. She is still in highschool and supposed to graduate in May. However, because she messed up her 9th grade year this year she has no room to mess up with her credits and MUST go everyday and get C's or higher in order to graduate. Lately she has been skipping school, being very disrespectful and coming home late and when she doesn't get her way she takes off for 2 days anyway. This goes on and when she comes back she is "grounded" for a bit but then her behavior just continues. I want her to graduate.
Here is the bigger issue and I will try to not drag it out.Basically, my husband and I went through a difficult time, lost everything we had and we all had to move in with my parents 3 years ago when she turned 15. Our daughter has always been very close with my parents and have given her everything she wants. Since shes been acting out badly we have taken her phone away, computer and everything and come to find out grandmother was sneaking my daughter grandmas ipod, grandmas phone..etc behind our backs. After a few blow outs grandma stopped. Now my daughter is about to fail, hanging with the wrong crowd and just being completely defiant and rude.Her window is srewed shut because she snuck people in and went out the window. She runs away and calls grandma and grandma doesnt let us know anything. We ground her by taking computer and TRYING to take her new IPHONE grandma just bought but she will not give it to us. We would have to physically fight her for it. So I contacted phone company and disconnected it to where she can only contact grandma and me, no internet BUT anywhere there is Wifi she can still access everything. Now I find out grandma called phone company behind my back and turned everything on for her. Grandma constantly will take her shopping, and buy her what she wants. I have no control over the phone because grandma pays for it. Right now grandma is supporting us all and she thinks she has the right to do all this since she pays for everything. I have had over the past few days talks with grandma about this..not to undermine us as the parents and also to stop giving into my daughter and stop letting her get away with everything and to just stay out of it BUT as soon as my daughter gets next to her she turns her charm on and grandma cant say no! What do I do? My daughter is never going to listen to us if grandma keeps doing what she does!! Honestly my husband and I want to tell my daughter if she can not follow the rules and listen to just get out! I feel it would be a lesson for her! I did the same stuff as a teen and would always crawl back cuz it sucked to stay at friends houses with no support! Am I wrong to want her to go? Grandma says ok I will just go with what you guys say but I know as soon as my daughter comes home she will go soft. Any advise on my situation with my mom????? Yes, I know I should be in my own house with my husband and our daughter but I can not change the past for the reasons why we are all staying here, and it is not financially possible right now and would just like advice on this situation. Thank you. If I wrote this in the wrong forum I apologize. I am not familiar with forums. Also. my daughter does have a part time job but is reliant on grandma (my parents) for support and reliant on us all for rides to and from work, school and where ever she wants to go. I also can not get my mom to stop taking her to the mall and extra things when I am trying to punish her. I cant get my mom to understand she ONLY should get a ride to and from work and to school and THATS IT!Thanks for reading.
Here is the bigger issue and I will try to not drag it out.Basically, my husband and I went through a difficult time, lost everything we had and we all had to move in with my parents 3 years ago when she turned 15. Our daughter has always been very close with my parents and have given her everything she wants. Since shes been acting out badly we have taken her phone away, computer and everything and come to find out grandmother was sneaking my daughter grandmas ipod, grandmas phone..etc behind our backs. After a few blow outs grandma stopped. Now my daughter is about to fail, hanging with the wrong crowd and just being completely defiant and rude.Her window is srewed shut because she snuck people in and went out the window. She runs away and calls grandma and grandma doesnt let us know anything. We ground her by taking computer and TRYING to take her new IPHONE grandma just bought but she will not give it to us. We would have to physically fight her for it. So I contacted phone company and disconnected it to where she can only contact grandma and me, no internet BUT anywhere there is Wifi she can still access everything. Now I find out grandma called phone company behind my back and turned everything on for her. Grandma constantly will take her shopping, and buy her what she wants. I have no control over the phone because grandma pays for it. Right now grandma is supporting us all and she thinks she has the right to do all this since she pays for everything. I have had over the past few days talks with grandma about this..not to undermine us as the parents and also to stop giving into my daughter and stop letting her get away with everything and to just stay out of it BUT as soon as my daughter gets next to her she turns her charm on and grandma cant say no! What do I do? My daughter is never going to listen to us if grandma keeps doing what she does!! Honestly my husband and I want to tell my daughter if she can not follow the rules and listen to just get out! I feel it would be a lesson for her! I did the same stuff as a teen and would always crawl back cuz it sucked to stay at friends houses with no support! Am I wrong to want her to go? Grandma says ok I will just go with what you guys say but I know as soon as my daughter comes home she will go soft. Any advise on my situation with my mom????? Yes, I know I should be in my own house with my husband and our daughter but I can not change the past for the reasons why we are all staying here, and it is not financially possible right now and would just like advice on this situation. Thank you. If I wrote this in the wrong forum I apologize. I am not familiar with forums. Also. my daughter does have a part time job but is reliant on grandma (my parents) for support and reliant on us all for rides to and from work, school and where ever she wants to go. I also can not get my mom to stop taking her to the mall and extra things when I am trying to punish her. I cant get my mom to understand she ONLY should get a ride to and from work and to school and THATS IT!Thanks for reading.