chococat
New Member
Hello, I haven't been on this forum in quite some time because my daughter had been doing well, but some very serious behaviors and issues have just come up. Let me start with a little background: My daughter is 10 years old has ODD, ADHD, Insomnia, and we recently (this spring) found out she was sexually abused by some kids (younger than 12 years old) in our old apartment complex from the age of 6-8. This came out because I caught her watching a pornographic video on the laptop, with a female friend (her age) and asked her if something had happened to her that might have lead to this behavior. (since that incident I have made the laptop inaccesible to her) She's been in therapy for years, and on medication since she was 6 years old, and has begun processing the abuse with her therapist and I since I found out. This summer she went to stay with her dad, step-mom, half-brother (age 9) and half-sister (age 3). Her dad and step-mom are aware of her diagnoses and were told about the sexual abuse. a couple weeks ago her step-mom called and told me that she (the step-mom) went outside to smoke and looked in the bedroom window to check on the kids and saw my daughter put a pillow over the 3 year old half-sister's face. She ran inside and stopped her. When asked why she did it, my daughter said she was "bothering her"... I called and spoke to my daughter and heard no other issues until Thursday night... I got a call saying that my daughter's step mom walked into the room and saw my daughter touching her half-sister in a sexually inappropriate way... My daughter was extremely upset, as was the step-mother (not to mention how angry/upset/confused I was, as well) The step-mom sent my daughter to my mom's house for the remainder of her visit (only 4 days til she was scheduled to leave.) I called my daughter's therapist and he said that he would begin a more specific kind of therapy for her once she returns home. She is visiting my ex (he was with me for 7 years) right now, he is also aware of what happened and she will not be around any kids during her visit. The therapist will also have a phone session with her on Thursday. He also informed me that he would be required to report this incident if he was given any more information (names, etc) and suggested that it be reported by us. He said that because of her age, the circumstances, and this being a first time occurance that my daughter would not be treated as a criminal, but would be required to have therapy etc (which was our plan already, anyways) I asked the step-mom to report the incident, and when she did so she called me and said that my daughter could not come back to visit next summer because the step-mom was told by CPS that she (the step-mom) was in trouble for failure-to-protect because she allowed(?) my daughter to be alone with her half-sister after the pillow incident... Has anyone here ever gone through something like this? Has anyone ever heard of a parent being charge for failure to protect when a difficult child hurt a sibling? Does anyone have any input, suggestions, advice? This incident occured in Michigan, we currently live in Utah. This whole situation is extremely upsetting to me. I feel terrible that this happened, feel terrible that my daughter did this to her half-sister (though the step-mom said she is doing well, doesn't act any different, or realize that anything bad happened), that I wasn't there for my daughter, that my daughter is going to lose the relationship with her siblings, and worry about how this will affect her... There are no other children in my home, besides my daughter, and I will be providing constant supervision when she is around other children, from now on. I don't know what else to write, there's just so much that I don't even know where to end this.... Thank you for reading this and for any advice or suggestions...