Ha! Bouncing around all over the place as a newbie in this forum! LOL! Still haven't figured out how to get my "signature" on here. So.........I'll just post here.
I'm 53, married 25 yrs to a GREAT guy. We had miscarriages. As I'm adopted, myself (as an infant in 1961), we both felt strongly about adoption and were wanting to open our home to a child less likely to be adopted. Hence, we intentionally chose an older child (age 6 -- adopted in 1996). He was so beautiful. He's now 24. His beautiful moments have been largely replaced by his raging and/or manipulative moments. We hope, but........well, we've been down this road for many years now. We know the drill, unfortunately. And as arrests increase, drug use escalates, etc, we are drained.
You asked about support. I am fortunate. When we adopted our son in 1996, my husband and I made a deal that if 1 of us (me, him or our son) had to go, it would be our son. We did not think it would actually come to that, but we stuck to it. And our son was "escorted" out of our home with police (and probation officer permission). We have tried to have him back half-dozen times or so, but it just never works. We made it clear when he was 19 that that would remain the case. We have stuck to that.
When our son was expelled (from every school he ever attended except the self-contained, lock-down school), we usually could not get respite for us. I wound up using continual Intermittent LOA at my workplace, so I opted to quit and try staying home with him full-time (ages 10 - 13) to see if that would help. It did not.
My husband and I have grown closer and closer through it all (we declared from the start we would not let it tear us apart -- something we saw OFTEN in parent/rehab sessions -- Our son did 105 days dual diagnosis polysubstance abuse and mental health rehab in 1996 at age 16). My husband is a solid man and my best friend. I am thankful for him beyond measure....could not have come this far in parenting without him. We are a tag-team and work together well! And now that we're empty-nesters, we take much time to do our favorite thing -- travel! Just got back from CA, ID, UT. Headed to OR for the big Oregon Ducks vs Wyoming football game (oh, did I mention we're rabid football fans? LOL!). Anyway, my husband and I do play well together. Laughter is a requirement.
Some of our family members didn't understand for a long time (of course, they didn't understand why we wanted to adopt through foster care, either). But in the following years, they have come around and that makes a difference as well. Best of all, we have had some STELLAR friends stand by us through ALL things! We are blessed in friendships!
But, the thing is........... While I know several parents (friends) who struggle with their children's mental health issues, drug issues or criminal issues, we do not have ONE friend who has a child (young or adult) who is diagnosed Auditory Processing Disorders (APD). I tried to resist that diagnosis for a long time because it seemed so hopeless. But I do not resist it any more. It's just so blatantly obvious. We agree with his psychiatrist.
So...... I come here to find specific, Auditory Processing Disorders (APD)-related answers and camaraderie. Stumbled onto this site by accident today. Wish I'd found it 2-3 years ago!
Well, thanks for letting me ramble on. Much appreciated. Sometimes it's just so heavenly to find we're not alone as Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) parents. It's a desolate road to travel alone.