New here

[novangel]

PLEASE keep my son in your thoughts/ prayers for the upcoming week!

He will be with the new daycare teacher every night after school and i'm really nervous how he will react to her. Remember I said that I didn't get a great first impression of her. I will try to remain optimistic and be positive that everything will be fine. I will also be giving him huge pep talks every morning before I go to work.

I will let you guys know how everything goes sometime next week. *crosses fingers*

 

[Marguerite]

What seems to be happening with your son - he is giving back the behaviour he receives. That is how some kids learn their social skills, by imitating. The person who treats him like dirt is sending a message to him that treating like dirt is how you behave towards others. It's very much "Do as I do, not do as I say," with these kids.

If teachers don't get this, they will fail. And teachers should get this, because they are (allegedly) trained to handle such situations. They certainly crop up often enough!

difficult child 3's current placement is at a correspondence school where my own observations of the staff have taught me tat teachers can be wonderful, they can be understanding and they can take a lot of crud from a difficult kid without making a big personal deal out of it. The kids are at this school for all sorts of reasons, including kids who are dancers, actors, tennis prodigies or simply behaviour problems. These teachers handle the lot. There are face-to-face classes and I usually stay in the room as an unofficial aide, so I've had plenty of chance to observe just how well these teachers work with difficult child 3 and kids like him.

It can be done.

Marg

 

[HaoZi]

Hoping for the best!

 

[TerryJ2]

Fingers crossed!

 

[NJDad]

Hello Novangel,

I just found this forum today, and after reading the posts I received I had the same initial conclusion as you-that there are people here that have bigger issues to contend with than I do. What was I doing here?

But after one post, I already feel better about my course of action and what my next steps should be with my son. The people here share a common goal-to help one another with their issues, whatever the issue may be. There is a wealth of knowledge, information and experience that will help you. Stick with it--there are some great people here. Good Luck!

 

[Marguerite]

We really can't compare. How I cope with my family might not be as effective as how you cope with yours. We just don't know. Sometimes I might read a thread where I want to smack someone over the back of the head. Sometimes I read a thread and realise, "I've got it good by comparison." But then - such threads can help me keep alert to potential problems and head them off before they can really develop.

It's all good. And no, I never felt I wanted to smack you!

Where I've got a lot out of this forum, has been in the collective intelligence stiffening my own spine when it came to advocating for what my child needed form the education system. However, it is different for everybody. We each take away what is there for us, and give back what we can within our own experience. And you do have experience in some areas. Never sell yourself short. Or I WILL come round there and smack you over the back of the head!

Seriously - there are some wonderful friendships here, even though some of the problems are so widely varied. And some of us eventually find a way through and see our difficult children turn into PCs!

Marg

 

[HaoZi]

I'm pretty sure she wants to smack me pretty often.
*ducks and runs*

 

[Marguerite]

You know that corner where we keep sending Star? Move over...

On a more serious note, I'm hearing difficult child 3 getting abusive to on-line players of his computer game. I'm about to sneak in there and videotape him so I can play it back for him later. He just doesn't realise what it sounds like, and it is highly inappropriate.

And if it hadn't been for this forum, I never would have thought of it!

Marg

 

[happy]

Hope it's going well for you.

 

[HaoZi]

Mine does that, too. Then she gets mad when they say something back to her and has a meltdown "because they were mean". Speaking of Star, I've been wondering where she got off to.

 

[novangel]

Well this week was uneventful, thanks to everyone for the positive vibes.

Started seeing a child psychiatrist last week (30+ years experience) and he doubts the ODD diagnosis, thinks it's more of an ADD issue but too soon to tell. I'm just spinning my wheels here... lol

 

[Running_for_the_shelter]

Glad you and your difficult child made it through the week OK. Mine runs on something like a four to five week cycle from being close to normal to simply awful, so it's not like I ever really get to relax much. I hope the new doctor is able to identify some solutions for you. And keep hanging out here -- you'll get great tips!

 

[novangel]

Same situation here, Running.

Things will be quiet for a few weeks/months and then something sets him off and he regresses. Nobody can seem to pinpoint exactly whether it's ADD, ODD or a touch of both. Symptoms can be very similar.

I will keep everyone posted.