New update on husband

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, May 9, 2007.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I want to start this by thanking everyone so much for their good thoughts, wishes and prayers for us. I truly believe they helped.

    We came home last night.

    This stroke was not a TIA but a small stroke. Evidently there is a difference but Im not entirely clear on exactly what that is right now.

    They ran a ton of tests, the CT, MRI, doppler on both heart and carotid arteries. They took tons of blood work too. They said except for the fact that he had a small stroke he is in amazing health! They really cant figure out why this happened. The only minor problems they could find were while his cholesterol was good at 171 his bad cholesterol was 121 and his good was only 50, then they found that his B12 was very low. So they have put him on aspirin, a statin for cholesterol, and vitamin B12 daily.

    He is still having minor double vision when he first wakes up and he has a bit of trouble focusing but he can bring that into focus when he tries hard. He is also a bit dizzy and weak if he does much activity at all. They told him to take off 3 to 6 weeks of work but he is adamant that he is going back next week for light duty...we shall see. He is worried because of him being the only income in the family. That puts stress on him too.

    This could also be stress related. Gosh knows we have been under an extreme amount of stress lately. I am sticking to him like glue and I refuse to stress him anymore. Anything I used to whine about shall be history. I can whine to my therapist...he doesnt need it right now.

    I also completely refuse to allow the stress of the kids to kill him. Sorry...but at this point he means more to me. They are grown. I woke up this morning to everyone fussing about Cory's upcoming court dates especially on the forgery charge where he stole the check from Billy. Cory started yelling that he wasnt going back to jail and how Billy should and could drop the charges. Well that aint happening but I will tell you this, I would rather them drop those charges and have Cory just leave than to have this bail stuff hanging over us forever. At this point I think Cory needs to go. He is causing stress and I am not going to allow it anymore. I am not having husband die or have another more severe stroke because of him.

    I will deal with this stress but there is going to be no more of it in my house. There cant be. I blame myself so much that because I bailed Cory out that this happened.
  2. Just keep swimming

    Just keep swimming New Member


    I am so glad that husband is home. Scary times, I am sure! Please do not take on guilt that this is somehow your fault! You need to be strong for husband and yourself right now and guilt will not make that happen.

    I wish I knew some magic words to make you feel better, just know that I am thinking of you and offering up prayers that husband will recovery quickly.

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm glad he's doing better. What a relief! Can he go on temporary disability to keep some cash coming in while he gets stronger?
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I know you are relieved to have him home. As far as Cory, the issues will end when you and husband end them. Do not let Billy drop the charges---do not pay his fines---do not keep supporting his choices. You can't control what husband does or does not do, but keep the lines of communication open and try to get on the same page about Cory.

    You will all be in my thoughts and prayers!
  5. mattsmom27

    mattsmom27 Active Member

    I'm so glad that your husband is back home. Good news that he is overall in good health too! Phew/whew! I think you are right to try to destress your household. It is time for even your wayward boys to wake up and take their heads out of their butts and take a good hard look at the effect their actions have on other people. This may just be the "excuse" you have been needing to crack the mama whip and demand certain behaviours in the house. Set boundaries and clearly state they are NOT to be messed with, period or GET OUT! You are right, your husband and you have to come first, especially now. Maybe now your husband will take a look at the chaos that his pacifist personality has ignored around him/you/your home and realize that it is time for your boys to spread their wings and fly to their OWN homes.
    I'm glad you have your husband home with you now. I hope he recovers quickly and doesn't push himself too quickly work wise.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TM...we dont have short term disability in this state and his employer didnt even offer health insurance much less a STD policy. How we are gonna pay that hospital bill is beyond me but that isnt my biggest worry right now.

    I dont even think we can drop charges anymore. I think they are in the banks hands now. I dont even think the court date tomorrow is the true trial. They never subpoenaed Billy to be there as a witness which I think they would have to do if it was the trial. Or maybe not. The bank has Billy's signature and affidavit. One thing...Billy will not lie in court. He signed that affidavit under penalty of perjury that he didnt write the check so what else is there to say?

    As soon as I can get this bail thing out from under me...he is history. I am so mad at myself for allowing myself to be conned into getting him out. That will never happen again. What worries me is that by Cory going in and getting continuances that he is just prolonging my time on the hook. That cant happen. I thought he would go to his court dates all by the 15th and that was it...I was done. Somehow I dont think it will be that simple. However, Cory may wish he didnt get all these continuances because as of the 15th I am calling the bail bondsman and telling them he made the three court dates I bailed him out for and I want out. If that means he goes back to jail to sit until those dates come up...oh well.
  7. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Janet, Im so glad husband is doing better. Hold on to him.....that's all I could think when my husband had a cancerous kidney tumor. As he felt better I let out some sighs of relief, but it was a long time before that happened. I imagine your husband will be up and going very soon now that he's home. There's just something about getting HOME! Cory is a's time for him to fend for himself and take some of the stress off both of you. Good luck!!
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You know what really makes me mad...when I was putting my foot down today that there was going to be NO arguing or talk about this whole court thing and I really didnt care how that came about...they could all just shut up or leave, Cory had the audacity, the complete and utter gall, to suggest that he was more stressed by maybe going to jail than we could be about husband's stroke!

    Oh heck no...that crossed a line for me. I wont take it. I took husband for granted for so long and put the kids first but no more. Never again.
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Janet did you bail out Cory? Do you know you can revoke the bail? I did that when my son hurt me and I could not have him here anymore. Talk to Cory let him know you hold the power and that he will abide by your wishes or you will revoke his bail. There is a cost involved which depends on wheather or not marshals have to be hired to bring him in. That did not happen in our case and it only cost us $68 for the paperwork. -RM
  10. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm glad husband is home. Like RM said, if you have to revoke the bail, then that is what you have to do. Cory is a big boy now. He can take care of himself. This is where his actions have gotten him.
  11. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm so glad your husband is home!!! I agree with you - You have to put yourself and husband first now. Your children are adults too.

    Please don't blame yourself for what happened to husband!!! It isn't your fault!!! However, I think both of you need and deserve less stress in your lives. It is definitely time for Cory to go!!!

    I'm keeping your husband in my prayers that he continues to do well and feels better with each passing day... I'm also praying that he doesn't try to go back to work too soon!!! (I know it would be nearly impossible for me to keep my husband out of work).

    Remember, when things are too stressful, you always have cyber shoulders to lean on... WFEN
  12. amstrong

    amstrong New Member

    So glad to hear he is home. Please don't beat yourself up and take on a bunch of guilt-we do the best we can with what we are given. Stand your ground with Cory. Y'all will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh heck no...that crossed a line for me. I wont take it. I took husband for granted for so long and put the kids first but no more. Never again.

    I agree. husband is home. Take care of him. Watch funny movies. Eat soup and Snickers. This is a health issue and you don't know exactly what caused it. on the other hand, Cory knows exactly what caused his jail issues. No comparison.
  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    LOL, soup and Snickers.

    SO glad to hear husband is home and well. It is mom & dad time. You know what to do.
    Candles, dimmed lights, a CD playing the sound of waves crashing, all good ways to de-stress. husband needs it, you deserve it.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad husband is home. Please don't blame yourself-be gentle with yourself. Praying for a speedy recovery period. Hugs.