no one returning my calls, grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by guest3, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    OK I am really trying to stay calm and positive BUT today I called difficult child II at hospital at 1:30 PM = designated call time and I was told by desk that he was acting up and that they would have him call me once he had calmed down. No call ever came. So I waited and called at 5:30 PM = next designated call time, talked with difficult child II briefly, he said he got angry but did not want to elaborate, he still has not said he's home sick or wants to come home (sniff). He also mentioned his roommate has been threatening to slit his throat (his roommate apparantly spends quite a bit of time in the "quiet room"). I get back on the phone with the nurse and she has no clue about anything happening with difficult child II during the afternoon (I am guessing there was a shift change) and when I told her my concerns about difficult child II's roommate's threats, she just brushed me off and said they were playing fine together. On top of that I only heard from psychiatrist once on Sunday, and she is just upping the Depakote, and I have heard nothing about a meeting or even the basic schedule of the place, or what to expect or when he'll come home...........Left messages for the person "in charge" of the program all day and no return calls. I am afraid I'll show up there on Wed. and the place will be boarded up and my kid will be gone, this is the "secure" feeling I am getting, and d/h is getting p/o saying I am being paranoid!!!
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Deep breaths.

    Your son's roommate does not have a way to slit a paper towel, much less anyone's throat. Everyone there is in a safe place and nobody can get hurt in that way. Kids talk tough.

    Do not be discouraged that difficult child does not wish to come home. It was hard for him there. This may be the best thing that ever happened to him. He may finally be getting the help he needs. I read on another post that you were upset that your other difficult child & your husband didn't seem to miss difficult child. Seems everyone needed a break. I would not take it so hard.

    Are you taking anything for your anxiety? Is there someone you can talk to about your fears? Your son really is in the best place he can be right now.

    Hugs and prayers. I know this is hard on you.
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I agree with BBK. I know this hard for you. It's probably harder for you than it is for GFGII.

  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree it's harder for the parents than the kids. It is frustrating to not have calls returned. I do know when difficult child was in the hospital we actually dealt much more with the social worker and the nursing staff than the psychiatrist.

    Sending some hugs your way. Again try to use this time to recharge yourself. It's important.
  5. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #3333FF"> trust me the hospital will not be boarded up & your son absconded with. nor will his roommate be given the remotest opportunity to hurt your son (these kids are mostly talk). if his roommate is spending a lot of time in isolation staff is on top of things. no one can give you any information about HIS behaviors because of confidentiality.

    what i found useful during my son's hospitalization this. they all have a primary staffer assigned to them. each shift ~~~ give them a couple of hours to settle into their shift ~~~ call & ask to speak to the staff assigned to your son. this is the person who will know how your son is doing. the person who answers the phone may have only minimal contact with-your son.

    psychiatrists in inpatient situations tend to not be terribly communicative....this is why you rely on his primary staff person. the CW is the person who will set up the family meetings & discuss d/c plans with-you.

    do they have family session on the unit. when jarrod was inpatient there was one night we went in for family group & one night of weekday visits. see if they do that.

    visitation on psychiatric units is usually much more limited than acute care. visitation is often disruptive to the flow of the unit.....and they are often doing group activities with-the kids of both a therapeutic & fun nature.

    try & relax about this. your son is where he needs to be right now & he's getting cared for.

    </span> </span> </span>
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'd be frustrated as well. I agree with BBK - the kids on this unit talk tough AND they are watched closely.

    The phone call situation is always always frustrating. psychiatrist communicated with me via unit SW on a regular basis. However, I asked for & rec'd a weekly appointment with psychiatrist, therapist & unit SW weekly. It helped clear the air with misunderstandings or questions.

    Let the dust settle, sweetie. I'd imagine your difficult child has been escalating for a bit & you all need to heal. The emotions of the family will kick in sooner than you think.
  7. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    Morning, thank you to all for putting up with me. :slap: LOL

    I am looking at today as a new day. If only my eyes weren't so swollen, sigh............

    Someone had called yesterday and left a message on home phone about scheduling a "family meeting". I only wish they had used my cell or work # to reach me, as I have those #'s listed 1st on all paper work, ahead of the home #.

    I have/am going to work this week, my dear co-workers are treating me like a china doll, I think they are afraid I may break, I just have a "no cry" rule or I will break LOL

    There are 3 "designated call hours (7:30 am, 1:30pm & 5:30pm) I am hoping d/h will call difficult child II this afternoon as he's off from work, we will see.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. Even adults on psychiatric wards are limited with phone calls I've been on psychiatric wards three times. We only had one phone, a pay phone, in the Day Area, and we stood in lines taking turns to use it between certain hours. We were also monitored for safety. We weren't even allowed to wear shoes with shoelaces and our belongings were checked for sharp edges. They try as hard as they can to watch everyone and, if it's a good place, when somebody is upset, they spend extra time with them, even sitting up all night with them if they have to. I felt very safe there. When I was extremely depressed, which was what landed me there, I felt safe and cared for and didn't want to go home either, not until I felt better. Most of the adults there were sicker than me, and it made me feel better when I could hold their hands and help them, which I did when I started to perk up. It's not always a BAD thing to be around others who are not feeling well because you don't feel alone and you can also see that it could be worse. Please don't take his lack of homesickness personally or worry too much about your precious child. Feel free to voice any fears to the staff--they should be willing to talk to you. Everything your child does on each shift should be documented. The Psychiatrist who heads your child's treatment team is the only person who can make drastic decisions for him. I urge you to leave him a message, talk to him nicely, voice your fears, and bet he'll be sympathetic and nice (I hope so anyways). He's the best person to tell you what's going on and also for you to report to if you feel a lack of communication. I believe most kids have social workers too, and often they can be VERY helpful with communication coordination.
    I got stable in the hospital. The other two times I went back were only because of bad medication reactions, but I felt I was in a good place each time. Enjoy YOUR time to heal. Hugs to you and your child.
  9. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Hang in there! :::hugs:::

    Be sure to write down all of your questions/concerns for the family meeting. I hope once you go there and sit down with some of his treatment team that you'll feel a little better and more secure. I know it's not easy.