flutterby
Fly away!
Do you have any idea of how sick and tired I am of hearing this come out of difficult child's mouth?
Nobody cares
I'm not important
Everyone is more important than me
It doesn't matter to anyone how I feel
blah, blah, blah
Our entire lives have centered around difficult child and her needs. But, if I'm not willing to do a 3 hour saga of how miserable she is and how horrible I am as a parent, then I don't care.
She was in a *bad* mood tonight. All day actually. She came storming in wanting to turn on the A/C because she's hot. It's 52 degrees outside. "Nobody cares about how I feel. All that matters is if you're hot or not." And then on and on about [see above]. She hates this house. Well, I like it. So that's all that matter is that *you* like it. Ummm...yeah. I'm the mom.
I told her to turn on the A/C, but only for 20 minutes. I even went and got a blanket to cover up with. If she's hot, she gets a headache and is miserable.
No. She's not going to do it because I don't really want her to because I don't care. I'm just telling her that to shut her up, but I really don't care.
Told her, yeah, that's what it is. That it's absolutely ridiculous to turn on the A/C when it's 52 degrees outside, but that I was going to let her do it because I know how bad she feels if she gets too warm. But, whatever. I don't care.
She calmed down and told me she'd been mad all day. Told her I could tell.
Everything's going ok. We were talking...about her, of course. She planted herself in her usual spot which means it was going to be a 3 hour saga.
easy child came home and needed to rearrange the cars. He was going to do it himself, but it made more sense for me to help him. 2 people, 2 cars. Was outside for less than a minute. Came back in and she was gone.
She came back a few min ago and got some tylenol. I asked her if she had a headache. Her response? "What do you care? easy child came home and he was more important than me."
There is NOTHING I can do that will ever be enough for this child. NOTHING. I could peel off skin and it wouldn't be enough. And I am SICK and TIRED of hearing how I don't care. Obviously, everything I've done means nothing. Because if ONE time I don't react the way she wants me to then I don't care.
One time, my eyes were burning because they were so dry so I was putting in natural tears while she was talking. I hadn't left the room. I was standing right next to her. I told her why I had to do it. But, even though it was medically necessary for me, I wasn't giving her my *entire* attention and she stormed off. You guessed it. I didn't care.
Just like when she was about 8 or 9 and after giving her all possible remedies for a sore knee (ibuprofen, tylenol, heat, ice, massage, rest) and she shot them down without even trying, tells me that if I really loved her I would think of something. This isn't typical teen. This is just who she is. And after 14 years of never being able to do enough no matter what I do, I don't think I can take much more. I am tired of being beat up. I told her tonight (after the deal with helping easy child) that she has no idea what it would feel like to have a mother that really doesn't care. And I walked away.
Nobody cares
I'm not important
Everyone is more important than me
It doesn't matter to anyone how I feel
blah, blah, blah
Our entire lives have centered around difficult child and her needs. But, if I'm not willing to do a 3 hour saga of how miserable she is and how horrible I am as a parent, then I don't care.
She was in a *bad* mood tonight. All day actually. She came storming in wanting to turn on the A/C because she's hot. It's 52 degrees outside. "Nobody cares about how I feel. All that matters is if you're hot or not." And then on and on about [see above]. She hates this house. Well, I like it. So that's all that matter is that *you* like it. Ummm...yeah. I'm the mom.
I told her to turn on the A/C, but only for 20 minutes. I even went and got a blanket to cover up with. If she's hot, she gets a headache and is miserable.
No. She's not going to do it because I don't really want her to because I don't care. I'm just telling her that to shut her up, but I really don't care.
Told her, yeah, that's what it is. That it's absolutely ridiculous to turn on the A/C when it's 52 degrees outside, but that I was going to let her do it because I know how bad she feels if she gets too warm. But, whatever. I don't care.
She calmed down and told me she'd been mad all day. Told her I could tell.
Everything's going ok. We were talking...about her, of course. She planted herself in her usual spot which means it was going to be a 3 hour saga.
easy child came home and needed to rearrange the cars. He was going to do it himself, but it made more sense for me to help him. 2 people, 2 cars. Was outside for less than a minute. Came back in and she was gone.
She came back a few min ago and got some tylenol. I asked her if she had a headache. Her response? "What do you care? easy child came home and he was more important than me."
There is NOTHING I can do that will ever be enough for this child. NOTHING. I could peel off skin and it wouldn't be enough. And I am SICK and TIRED of hearing how I don't care. Obviously, everything I've done means nothing. Because if ONE time I don't react the way she wants me to then I don't care.
One time, my eyes were burning because they were so dry so I was putting in natural tears while she was talking. I hadn't left the room. I was standing right next to her. I told her why I had to do it. But, even though it was medically necessary for me, I wasn't giving her my *entire* attention and she stormed off. You guessed it. I didn't care.
Just like when she was about 8 or 9 and after giving her all possible remedies for a sore knee (ibuprofen, tylenol, heat, ice, massage, rest) and she shot them down without even trying, tells me that if I really loved her I would think of something. This isn't typical teen. This is just who she is. And after 14 years of never being able to do enough no matter what I do, I don't think I can take much more. I am tired of being beat up. I told her tonight (after the deal with helping easy child) that she has no idea what it would feel like to have a mother that really doesn't care. And I walked away.