Oneandonly
New Member
Hi, I'm new here thank you for letting me join in. I'm not sure I am putting this in the right part i don't use forums normally but I am in the biggest pickle ever...
I will try my hardest to keep this short and sweet and not bore you to death... But I would love some input if you think my son could have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).. Many thanks.
Where do I start i guess at the beginning... I had a little bit of a problematic pregnancy and then my son was born at 32 weeks and 3 days. I was in labour for 30 hours as the hospital was holding off the birth of my son as long as possible... Well he was born he was tube feed for a while but soon as he was on bottles he ate loads more than most children his age group 9oz every 2 hours...
As he grew he hit all his mile stone even became dry at night by the age of 2... Growing up he was a very affectionate child cared for everyone and everything. But when he was about 4 years old there was a big fire that rocked houses and tore down buildings local to us... Our house shock so bad and the blaze went on for days. It was all over the tv and my son became completely scared of fires...
This is where his personality changed he went from that caring child to a angry child. He wouldn't do anything he was asked he would seem to for get what you asked of him. He started defecating in a small cupboard in his room and if we was lucky he would go on the toilet but then he would rub it all over the walls and doors. He had to be supervised all the time he just couldn't be trusted... He stopped looking at us in the eye always looking at the floor no matter how much we asked him to look at us he just wouldn't do it... He stopped cuddling us unless he wanted to hurt us it was like he wanted to show people that where round he loved us but he would pinch or ding his nails into your back or arm... If he played with my hair he would pull it and twist it so it was so painful even pull strands out... In this time is anger got worse and he started lashing out for no real reason on his little sister who was 3 years under him... He would push her and kick her stabbing her with pencils and a small toy screw driver he had for his macrno. Stealing things from around the house eating loads before anyone woke in the morning hardly ever sleeping more than 5 hours a night...
When my daughter was 5 she had cancer and my son behaviour just escalated to what you wouldn't believe. He was 8 at this point and his attitude was so bad... He started hurting his sister more in private but would show affection when people where round. He resented myself and my daughter... His behavior was so much better for his father even now it's much better... (Will come to that in a mo)... He started playing with lighters that where in the cupboard setting things a light in his room...
He is now 12 in just a few short weeks and he is now stealing things from our bedroom even if we took his consoles or mobile away from his due to his bad behaviour he would just go right into our room and steal it back... He will break everything in sight like today he broke the remote the surround sound unit my glass laptop table, threw my laptop and stealing loads of pack lunch food i have just brought for their return back to school monday... When I tried to speak to him he looked at the floor and said I'm only sorry I got caught... What child says this and thinks that is ok to say??? He will hug me but only to hurt me... I was watching a very sad film with him last night and he laughed at the bit where the child died in the movie... He had no emotion towards it... He sat right up close as if to want a cuddle but the whole time he was fidgeting and poking pinching and pulling at my clothes and hair... He will not go to sleep before 11-12 at night and he gets up about 2 I have to tell him bed and then he goes back but you will hear him messing about when it goes silent I think its safe to sleep but he's back up by 4-4:30 every morning... I'm so tired he has got even worse since his father started night shift... He will mess me about and he will make sure I get almost no sleep... How he has so much go in him I don't understand... He has taken his handle off his bedroom door so we can't get in there his room is ALWAYS a mess. He has little respect...
However he will show love and affection to his god parents... He will speak politely and always says please and thank you. He will always be this perfect child...His school said he's a perfect straight A student.... I don't understand why he's so bad for us we have rules and boundaries we have timed breakfast dinners and tea's and bedtimes... He know what the consequences are for his regular bad acts like stealing will be he loses the item for 3 days steals it again its another 3 days steal it again it's another 3 days... This does not stop my child...
We have done parenting classes we have taken him to a place called cahms they said he didn't have ADHD or ADD due to him being a perfect student he is obsessed with numbers... We have had a medical parenting nurse come to our home and she said she was even stumped at what to do and took us off her list for help and told us to do more parenting classes... She said ignore his bad behaviour let him do what he's doing he will get bored... This does not work.. He gets worse to even hurting the animals he killed his stick insects with neglect... He will kick, poke and pinch my guide dog.... He's not got many friends never gets invited to other peoples houses not even my sister will take him on for a few hours because she knows he will bounce off the walls for her and do everything she asks him not too... He is still wiping poop on the walls and weeing all over my floor and seat of the toilet at his age now...
Sorry this has gone on long enough there is so so much more but I feel I have probably bored you all to death by now... I want to thank you in advance for all your help and support... With love from a desperate mother xxxx
I will try my hardest to keep this short and sweet and not bore you to death... But I would love some input if you think my son could have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).. Many thanks.
Where do I start i guess at the beginning... I had a little bit of a problematic pregnancy and then my son was born at 32 weeks and 3 days. I was in labour for 30 hours as the hospital was holding off the birth of my son as long as possible... Well he was born he was tube feed for a while but soon as he was on bottles he ate loads more than most children his age group 9oz every 2 hours...
As he grew he hit all his mile stone even became dry at night by the age of 2... Growing up he was a very affectionate child cared for everyone and everything. But when he was about 4 years old there was a big fire that rocked houses and tore down buildings local to us... Our house shock so bad and the blaze went on for days. It was all over the tv and my son became completely scared of fires...
This is where his personality changed he went from that caring child to a angry child. He wouldn't do anything he was asked he would seem to for get what you asked of him. He started defecating in a small cupboard in his room and if we was lucky he would go on the toilet but then he would rub it all over the walls and doors. He had to be supervised all the time he just couldn't be trusted... He stopped looking at us in the eye always looking at the floor no matter how much we asked him to look at us he just wouldn't do it... He stopped cuddling us unless he wanted to hurt us it was like he wanted to show people that where round he loved us but he would pinch or ding his nails into your back or arm... If he played with my hair he would pull it and twist it so it was so painful even pull strands out... In this time is anger got worse and he started lashing out for no real reason on his little sister who was 3 years under him... He would push her and kick her stabbing her with pencils and a small toy screw driver he had for his macrno. Stealing things from around the house eating loads before anyone woke in the morning hardly ever sleeping more than 5 hours a night...
When my daughter was 5 she had cancer and my son behaviour just escalated to what you wouldn't believe. He was 8 at this point and his attitude was so bad... He started hurting his sister more in private but would show affection when people where round. He resented myself and my daughter... His behavior was so much better for his father even now it's much better... (Will come to that in a mo)... He started playing with lighters that where in the cupboard setting things a light in his room...
He is now 12 in just a few short weeks and he is now stealing things from our bedroom even if we took his consoles or mobile away from his due to his bad behaviour he would just go right into our room and steal it back... He will break everything in sight like today he broke the remote the surround sound unit my glass laptop table, threw my laptop and stealing loads of pack lunch food i have just brought for their return back to school monday... When I tried to speak to him he looked at the floor and said I'm only sorry I got caught... What child says this and thinks that is ok to say??? He will hug me but only to hurt me... I was watching a very sad film with him last night and he laughed at the bit where the child died in the movie... He had no emotion towards it... He sat right up close as if to want a cuddle but the whole time he was fidgeting and poking pinching and pulling at my clothes and hair... He will not go to sleep before 11-12 at night and he gets up about 2 I have to tell him bed and then he goes back but you will hear him messing about when it goes silent I think its safe to sleep but he's back up by 4-4:30 every morning... I'm so tired he has got even worse since his father started night shift... He will mess me about and he will make sure I get almost no sleep... How he has so much go in him I don't understand... He has taken his handle off his bedroom door so we can't get in there his room is ALWAYS a mess. He has little respect...
However he will show love and affection to his god parents... He will speak politely and always says please and thank you. He will always be this perfect child...His school said he's a perfect straight A student.... I don't understand why he's so bad for us we have rules and boundaries we have timed breakfast dinners and tea's and bedtimes... He know what the consequences are for his regular bad acts like stealing will be he loses the item for 3 days steals it again its another 3 days steal it again it's another 3 days... This does not stop my child...
We have done parenting classes we have taken him to a place called cahms they said he didn't have ADHD or ADD due to him being a perfect student he is obsessed with numbers... We have had a medical parenting nurse come to our home and she said she was even stumped at what to do and took us off her list for help and told us to do more parenting classes... She said ignore his bad behaviour let him do what he's doing he will get bored... This does not work.. He gets worse to even hurting the animals he killed his stick insects with neglect... He will kick, poke and pinch my guide dog.... He's not got many friends never gets invited to other peoples houses not even my sister will take him on for a few hours because she knows he will bounce off the walls for her and do everything she asks him not too... He is still wiping poop on the walls and weeing all over my floor and seat of the toilet at his age now...
Sorry this has gone on long enough there is so so much more but I feel I have probably bored you all to death by now... I want to thank you in advance for all your help and support... With love from a desperate mother xxxx