ODD possible if only at home?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wldinnh, May 18, 2007.

  1. wldinnh

    wldinnh New Member

    My 10 year old daughter was just diagnosed with ODD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). The ODD behaviors have been around since about age 3, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) became noticeable more around age 5. At 3 she'd very occasionally have ODD issues at daycare/pre-school, but was ODD at home so often it was making me crazy. Since she started regular school, she has been the perfect student with all her teachers, has no trouble making friends, and is ahead academically. She's just a royal pain in the a** to me and her dad! I'm having trouble seeing how she can be ODD but only at home....makes me think my ex and I did something to mess her up towards us (ODD behaviors were around several years before we even thought of divorce so know that didn't "trigger" it.) Anyone else have a child who saves this behavior for mom and dad only?
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Yep. Only for me. My mom gets some of it, but not like I do. I always say it's cause she loves me best (tongue in cheek).

    It's not uncommon. Some kids maintain all day, but once they get home they just can't anymore. It's too exhausting. Plus, they know our love is unconditional.

    Be sure to take time for yourself. Welcome to the board.
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Ditto wyntergrace. It's not an unusual occurence at all.

    Welcome aboard. :biggrin:
  4. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    More often than not, the behaviors are reserved for Mom and Dad...mostly Mom. My son was diagnosis with ODD at age four and it's not let up one tiny bit since then. He's eleven. It's exhausting.!
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Welcome to the board!
    Yup, my daughter is the exact same way. In fact, I just had a meeting at the school. When I informed them of her diagnosis (diagnosis) it was like they did not believe me. "But she is so sweet!" Uh-huh. Come be a fly on my wall sometime, I told them.

    They lash out to whom they feel safest with. As Heather said, the love from us is unconditional, and they know it. Which is actually a sign of a GOOD parent, not a bad one.

    Stick with us. We'll help you through this.
  6. wldinnh

    wldinnh New Member

    I once asked her teacher if my daughter ever seemed anxious or moody at school because there were issues at home, she responded she never noticed anything in class but to help at home maybe I should enroll her in a yoga class!! If only the solution was that simple! We had her assessed last month at Boston Univ. after having no luck with local counseling services (one responded after the first meeting "wow, she's really well defended" - that gave me a lot of confidence he could help!) and have a referral to a PhD that does cognitive behavioral therapy with children exclusively. I know I'm fortunate I don't have school problems to deal with too, but the stress in the house from her behavior is HUGE. I'm glad I found this board!
  7. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I was told to light candles and play soft music...that this will help our home situation !! :hammer: I'm just please things go well for the most part at school. I feel like I'm playing a double life...the mother who hears compliments and positive things at school..smiling and such....and then he comes home...all heck breaks out..... :grrr:
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ditto. :frown:
  9. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    It's funny...I always think of my oldest when I say that our problems are across the board, but I forget about the youngest, only because his behavior issues pale in comparison to his brothers. Our youngest is reportedly an "angel" at school...it's not until he comes home that he acts out. Our youngest has no diagnosis as of yet, as we've never brought him anywhere for one. I'm very interested to see how he plays out as he grows up.
  10. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    It's good that she can hold it together. When she gets home, where it's comfortable for her, she lets her true self come out. Be glad that she realizes she has to hold it together at school.-Alyssa
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Have been there done that though the tweedles barely hold it together anywhere. They are just worse here.

    I don't think it's all that unusual - our kids want to fit in. They want friends & to be "normal".
  12. ROE

    ROE New Member

    Yep, I agree, it's not uncommon at all. When my difficult child's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) was first diagnosis'd and not under control yet (he was 10), he did not have a behavioral problem in school but he was an absolute nightmare at home. No one would've believed what we were dealing with. Although he was suffering, he managed to keep it together all day at school but would completely melt-down at home. Home is a "safe" place.

    My difficult child's current p.doctor would probably believe that your difficult child's OD behavior is the result of her Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). He doesn't believe in ODD as a diagnosis. He views it as a behavior with an underlying cause. Maybe once her Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is under control the OD behavior will improve. Excessive anxiety wreaks havoc in anyone, particularly a young child. Good luck.
  13. 3babygirls

    3babygirls New Member

    If only my difficult child could hold it together at school and save it all for me I think I'd be somewhat relieved. lol But difficult child does not discrimminate and gives us all a run for our money. lol