Beth- no, do not feel like you did anything etc..I am a very open person....
And I thank you for takeing any interest even if it is cuz you are in similar situation or condition etc.....
Um, did I say she felt better? Nah.she has breeif moments here and there...where she can sit up at kitchen table with us, so long as we do not turn on any TV in there or play music or walk around much.....she really really is hypersensitive to any stimulation at all, and spends enormous amounts of time laying on floor of her brothers room. In the dark, shades drawn, TV off.....maybe a kitty or our doggy beside her. I have even stopped cooking much for now and everyone is sorta surviving on quick easy things that produce as few odors as possible (cold cereal, boxed mac and cheese, fresh fruit, raw vegs......chicken cooked outside and eaten outside......) unless SHE requests something. SHe has been requesting some very wild things for someone so ill..... and it is amazing, sometimes when she does request something, it stays a bit, but she can only eat tiny amounts, a few bites....I think she takes in maybe 2 tablespoons of s olids every other day....I did get her Ensure, but- she gags..and she has pedialyte and gatorade.
She is NOT quite as um.....non alert as often as she was earlier in July.....and she is not loseing weight at the moment....her modd swings are huge.....she is hypersensitive.....but mostly she just lays on the floor in the dark and quiet or lays in a tepid bath---unless she has an appointment or is supposed to be AT work.
This week she has begun to faint....once sat at work, after just a few mins and today when she tried to go potty and was headed back to bedroom. She chose the floor as her nest becuz she said the bed made her feel like she would fall off, and she is in brothers room cuz her room is down in our basement, and she cannot do stairs.
It is so hard to KNOW what might be going on in her head........someone had wondered if she wound up preg as a way to NOT go away to college? I asked her, she said no.....her because failed.....she swears she used double protection (she was on pill)
At first with the news of preg, she was still considering going away.....she has full scholarships-and uni is only 90 mins away....and it is rural, a very easy gentle drive and she has our 3rd car......but then when she began to get SO ill.......she transferred to comm college....
She still wants to go here.....
She has stayed in college dorms a week or so every sumer for several years becuz she has been an active participant in OPeration Snowball- ITI, and MLI and they meet in summers at various universities. She has been very independant for several years, and very busy.....involved in a few intense community service organizations, working her job over 2 years......and she has awesome incredible grades......and she really wanted to go to uni......well, she said she did for the last 2 years......I had originally wanted her to do first 2 years at comm college, but, she was quite excited to go.
SHe has always been my most private child.....and my most independant, maybe becuz the older sister is difficult child and quite dependant, and son is younger and had his eye problem, and dad is ..not well......so easy child has always been spmewhat of an overacheiver and a strong dominant force.
Yes the father of baby is here, involved, well TRYING to be.....he is haveing a hard time, becuz he feels guilty for how ill she is - as if it is his fault alone....(we do not feel that way, and we try to tell him) and of course it IS hard to be around someone who is as ill as she is.....becuz even conversation is often too much for her....which leaves him sitting beside her being still and quiet in the dark....easy child and boyfriend are both 18. He had not planned to go to college, BUT easy child is the guiding force for boyfriend....and I do not think any of us realized just HOW much so that is. Until now. He is NOT an overacheiver, and I think he heavily depended on PCs guidance.....and now she is unable to guide him.....He works steady but not quite full time.....his parents split about the same time he and easy child got together, over 2 years ago, - he ws youngest of 3 boys......and I am afraid maybe both his parents are so busy with their own life, he kinda got left hanging.......he has spent the majority of his waking hours here all along.
I have not bothered to talk to either of his parents.....have no desire to.
When easy child and boyfriend told me about the baby.....I first asked them not to jump into marriage....not just becuz a baby was coming. I had already planned to "take care of" easy child while she did college......and that has not changed....the baby does not change that, and neither does her going to college or not. My older child is here at home......it is not a problem, so easy child should not really feel pressure for whatever she had in mind to do.......I am "easy" maybe becuz MY mom sent me on my way when I was 12 yrs old.....
and my thought is that even older women in careers have bc fail......and women of any age might want or need help from their own moms........
So, I am not sure if easy child has any serious issues beyond just that this WAS a surprise...not planned at this time......and then getting slammed with such profound sickness......
I myself did lose 80 pounds with difficult child, and 60-70 with easy child......altho I did NOT have nausea or vomiting at all. BUT I was not hungry. In hindsight docs attributed my problems with preg to my Lupus and rheumatic illness, and my kids have the added problem of dads agent orange exposure....and my husband mom had gruesome problems with preg, altho I am not exactly clear just exactly what her problems were. (she is long gone, and husband is an only child as were both his now deceased parents)
She IS looking forward to her college classes starting.....and she herself is who pushed to get things all settled for school....
She has said the baby, she does not want to move to her BFs moms or dads, her boyfriend wants her to......she is adamant. She does not want the baby at their houses.....she does not think BFs parents will be watchhhful enough......I have reassured her I am here and am willing to help in any way....
So- it is possible she is scared, nervous, etc......but she is also excited.....
She is not entirely unfamiliar with babies....nearly all her friends are already mothers, as are nearly all difficult children friends, and our family is large, too......and she had wanted children.......
easy child has been frail the last year or so, tho, in general. My most sickly child recently.my kids all were always super healthy, no ear infections, no colds, no allergies, no flus, nothing ever ever. My kids had only taken antibiotics maybe twice each, if that in their whole lives.....BUT in the last year or 18 months or so, easy child has had mono, strep, pneumonia.....
Im just not sure just what is going on with her.
We did not know she had a tipped uterus until the ultrasound this week.it did not show up on ultrasound 2 weeks ago....and I have been confused for over a year becuz the doctor never did a pelvic at all on either of my daughters when they went on the pill.and still neither of my daughters has had a pelvic or pap......even tho they go every 6 months to gyne doctor. I even ASKED doctor at last visit before the preg.....she said they no longer are in such a hurry to do them? Now she says easy child is so ill and miserable, she is waiting till easy child is not quite so miserable?? So- we did not see doctor after this ultrasound.....we go back in 2 weeks....
I do know easy child has very high hormone levels....doctor commented on it, and preg test came back EXTRA fast and VERY clear positive before easy child even missed a cycle. first ultrasound confirmed that easy child was correct on her dates......she was NOT further along than anyone at first thought......it was just her body did put out very high hormone levels very quickly. (and my last preg, with my son, I put out NONE and had to get them via daily injections thru the preg)
I actually was not sure how easy child would take the sad news we had before the ultrasound found the baby again.....wondered if she might have felt some relief? But no.....she was devsastated....and noone was happier than her when ultrasound lady "found" that baby. Same with her boyfriend.
I do understand, tho, that she has had to have such a huge range of emotions all along.....and things have been turned upside down and sdieways back and forth, up and down, so many changes to plans etc in such a short time....so much turmoil etc.
BUT........she has got to know-------I am here.....her sis and bro are devoted.....and her experience all thru her life has proved time and again......I am always here for my kids......and my husband.......maybe "too much" but they are NEVER alone. I will hold her hand, advocate, help her......for however long......and when SHE wants to try to go stand on her own......I will help then, too.....and she KNOWS it and has watched me do this very thing......all her life.
She knows right now I just only want for her to TRY to eat......and..if she CAN add in her classes- great, I want her to go to college.... becuz she has always said she wants to......
I dunno.......yeah, I wonder WHY she is SO ill.......I have heard younger mothers do have higher incidence of this nasty hyperemesis thing......and yes, easy child did have "a plan" and it surely did get sidetracked here, now......and she always has loveed to be "in charge" and "in control" and suddenly she is not......so, yes that could have slammed her hard......
So..just as I did with her difficult child sister.....I will hold her hand and guide her and help her learn resilience.....just like I held her brothers hand when he lost his vision.....we WILL get her back "on track" and I will help her become a mommmy.
Nothing worth haveing is easy......
She has become an expert puker......now what is hard for her is ..this blasted fainting......which I am thinking could be long term malnutrition......well, um...I guess it is not long term......but..ongoing? so the whole family is working to try to come up with ideas to pack lots of nutrients into small amounts of appealing sounding foods for her. I wish the doctor would just get on with it and DO a PICC line.....
Whew, sorry I wrote SO much.......