I don't think it's too harsh- I just don't think they are going to view a violation of house arrest as an emergency. Plus, if I go around the PO at this point or push this above his head, other things will transpire that could potentially be worse all the way around. PO knows I am not letting difficult child get by with violations. That being said, that doesn't mean I won't call the police and report difficult child if he doesn't show up at home this afternoon. Really, I wouldn't be shocked if he's arrested before then because I agree- difficult child is thumbing us all at this point. Also, I will be telling the mentor this evening since he is supposedly helping the PO monitor difficult child.
ETA: Thank goodness I just learned that the people I'm doing work for are about to take off early for the weekend so I have until 1st thing Monday morning to get this work done. Now maybe I can catch my breath and regroup.
I want to clarify about the PO situation- it was explained to me that with juveniles, the idea is for PO's to get them services to prevent re-incarceration. If the PO is bypassed, 1) parents can be accused of not working with them appropriately (been there done that), and 2) then it automatically goes before a judge- automatically gets scheduled for court, I should say, it might take weeks before it actually is before a judge, and the question then is whether or not to place the kid in dss or Department of Juvenile Justice (been there done that, too). DSS does have access to placements that Department of Juvenile Justice funding cannot pay for, however, since my bro has his name listed with dss our most current laws require dss to try placing difficult child with another family member first before spending money to fill a spot in a more restrictive placement.
As you all probably know by now, I'm not trying to keep difficult child from incarceration because I think he doesn't deserve it. But I don't want to close the door myself just yet on the PO being able to do something that might help difficult child more than going back to where he learned these recent activities. I have a feeling that there's a good chance that might happen anyway and I know that no services will help difficult child if he doesn't want them to, but right at this minute I haven't reached the point of wanting to eliminate that option yet. I guess because I believe if I do, I seal his fate to a life in the system of incarceration. If the PO recommends something different to a judge at least there is a chance- the PO is more likely to do that if he knows I am working with him, reporting difficult child's violations and any good things, and not trying to go around him. If I call over there today and insist on speaking with someone knowing PO is out, I will be given PO's super and given previous experience- that is so not good. And, if I appear to be flipping out saying it's an emergency that difficult child went out without permission while on house arrest when they are dealing with some kids who have committed very violent acts they are more than likely going to view me as a mother who can't handle any type of problem and consider that as contributing to difficult child's difficulties.