Ok...I know what my gut instinct here is but who knows if it is accurate. First let me start off with saying that my house is a complete and utter pig sty. I dont know how it got into this state but it did. Well, yes I probably do know how. No one picks up after themselves. No one. Me included. Its been bad for many years. It has gotten much worse as my illnesses have progressed because I have become less and less able to dive in and clean up after everyone. Now its just way over my head. As kids have left, their rooms have become dumping grounds. Laundry backs up and never gets folded and put away. I half-way get my room clean sometimes but it is really hard on me. My bathroom is horrible. I wont even go in the other bathroom because it is Billy's. My kitchen is a mess. You get the picture. Now about 2 or 3 months ago I sat down and told the three of us who live here...me, Tony and Billy...that something had to happen, it couldnt go on this way. I fully understand that Tony cant help out much because he works pretty much 5 days a week out of town and is only here on weekends. So the most I can ask of him is that he help out with the cooking on the weekends and that he do his own laundry and that he removes the trash can down to the dump. No problem on his part. I requested that Billy take over the complete cleaning of the kitchen and cleaning of his bathroom. I really dont care how he keeps his room, I dont have to go in there but it would be nice if it didnt stink. On my end I would start trying to begin in one corner of the house and start de-trashing the place. I would only be able to do a little bit at a time because my energy is really limited and I also have to take Billy to work whenever he works. I also have doctor appointments to keep. Now maybe I do do less than I am really capable of doing, I am not sure but I know that I physically hurt when I do too much. Finding that happy medium is hard. Problem is Billy has absolutely flat refused to keep the kitchen clean. In all this time it has only been really clean once and that was when Tony did it and announced to all that it should stay in THIS condition. It didnt. Not for one day. I have been on strike this whole time refusing to touch it. I wont wash a dish unless I really have to in order to eat off it. I rarely even eat at home anymore, choosing instead to grab fast food out or eat a sandwhich or a bowl of cereal. Maybe a hotdog I can microwave on a paper towel. So really....Im not cooking! He just refuses to clean. Today I have given in and I am cleaning my kitchen because I just cant stand it anymore. It smells. There are bugs. My floor hasnt been washed in I cant tell you how long. I havent seen my counter in weeks. Im ready to just say...fine, if you wont do the kitchen, then you have to take on cleaning the rest of the house. But I have major doubts that he will do that either. It will take him away from his beloved computer which is where he spends his time when not working. I think this is passive aggressive behavior. I dont think it is aspie behavior though maybe Im wrong. But even if it is aspie behavior...it has to change. Something has to change. I cant do this anymore. It is really irritating me. What do I do?