Thanks for your guys support...it was horrible. His dad told him to get clean or leave our home, he told him we loved him, but we canno longer enable him and let him live in our home and turn it upside down. He was still under the influence of weed, pills and I think alcohol, so it wasn't the best time to talk to him, but enough was enough. He packed his bag, told me that I am a F****** C*** and that he hoped I burned in hell and he turn to his dad and told him that he was the biggest P#### he knew. This wasn't him talking, we know its the drugs. He always hugged us and told us he loved us and knew we loved him, so it didn't upset me to much what was coming out of his mouth. His dad, on the other hand, was so upset. My husbands blood pressure is elevated, he is having a racing heart and having trouble sleeping and concentrating on his work at his job. He feels he has somehow failed as a father...which he hasn't. Hes a good Christian man with a big heart who would do anything for his kids, this is why he has enabled him as long as he did, but knows this is it.
My son was outside in our driveway, trying to find someone to pick him up. We thought he had already left and my husband went outside to throw away some trash and he made a scene outside for all the neighbors to hear, calling him names again and kept repeating "go to hell" and that he is being kicked out just because he smokes a "little weed". Its not a little weed, its a LOT of weed, and pills, and alcohol, and did I mention cough syrup, Nyquil? Anything to alter his mood. He lost his job, car and apartment because of that "little weed". His whole life is effected by that "little weed".
I pray every day like I said that the Lord gives me strength to "let go". I cant say we haven't tried to help him, he refuses help, not ready to quit. Last night, was nice, I hate to say. It was drama free and peaceful. I even cleaned his room which reeked of weed and God knows what else. He trashed the room. I even turned in into a laundry room once again...my husband commented that he sees I am moving on, I told him I pray that he does the same. We told our son he can come back and live with us, even if it was FOREVER, but he would have to be clean and sober and live by our rules.
We asked my youngest last night what he was feeling since his brother left...he sais his brother was like a "Virus" and that he wanted him out. He said he was robbing him of his childhood, after all his older brother had a good one, why shouldn't he? He said he has no real relationship with him so he said, "you cant miss something you never had". I wanted to cry, my soon to be 13 year old has more sense than his 20 year old brother.
We are having a little trouble with the grandparents enabling him...his grandpa told him he doesn't want him to live with him, but he can come by to visit and take showers. My husband is upset. His grandma called me this morning to tell me my son called her to "pick him up from someones house"...he was at a party all night...she called to ask me if she should, I said no, but she did anyway. She tried to talk to him about his situation and he yelled and said, "they threw me out cuz I smoke a little weed"......she told me she wasn't picking him up anymore. She and her ex husband, his grandpa are BIG ENABLERS.
I am sorry I rattled on and on...all of this isn't NOTHING new for you guys. Same stuff, different people. Thanks to all of you, for listening and caring. I may not be crying now, and I may seem "strong" but it will hit me when I think about that cute little boy I raised and wonder why. My job now is to take care of my youngest son and my husband. I wont sit back and let my oldest ruin what we have still left here. I will make my home fun again and give my youngest a happy childhood, and take care of my husband and build him up again...if my oldest wants to destroy his life, he can, he wont take us down with him.