She's in the psychiatric hospital

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Big Bad Kitty, Sep 27, 2009.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I know this is the best thing for her. I know it down to the very pit of my soul. But I can't stop crying.

    I miss her so much. She is laying such a guilt trip on me. I walked into her bedroom and it felt like she had died.

    This is too much pain for my heart to handle all at once. She's still just a baby. God this hurts.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending many gentle hugs your way tonight and prayers for you and Tink. difficult child was 7 the first time he was hospitalized and even though we knew it was best for him it was still very hard to do. As hard as it is, I remember people here telling me this was a time to for husband and I to recharge. Even though we fit in almost daily visits we did try to take the time to do some recharging and I'm glad we did.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, BBK, I am so sorry you are hurting this way!!! I know how bad it hurts.

    Chances are things are far better at the psychiatric hospital than she lets you think. Most of our kids do very well after the initial shock wears off. Please try to limit the guilt. It isn't helpful to either of you.

    You are doing exactly what she needs. She isn't dead. This will give her a better chance at a good life. The psychiatric hospital is a tool that you are using to help her have a better life in the long run.

    Many hugs.

  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Even though difficult child was a bit older the first time he was hospitalized with us (his actual first was when he was about 5 or 6), I still bawled. The doctor told me before I went to visit the first time, that if he started trying to get me to take him home, to tell him I loved him and that he needed to stay and then leave. I outside, called husband and then snotted and sobbed all over him via phone.

    I know you hurt but this IS the best thing for her right now. Besides, you REALLY need a break. This way, she's safe, she's taken care of, she's getting the help she needs and you are able to take a breath. There's nothing at all wrong with enjoying the quiet while you can in this situation.

  5. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Sending hugs your way; I know it hurts your mommy heart, but you know it is what she needs right now. Hopefully the doctors will get a change to really spend time with her and help sort out all that is going on with her. Take this time to relax because she will be home before you know it.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm sorry you're hurting BBK. Like everyone said, and based on what you've posted, you absolutely are doing the right thing for her. How long do you think she'll be there?

  7. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!


    She's where she needs to be.
  8. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Last Christmas my easy child went into a psychiatric hospital. He learned skills that will help save his life, as he tried to kill himslf. Tink wil learn things, she'll get the help she needs, learn some coping skills and things she can't learn at home. I know it hurts you, but feel grateful as well. Thank goodness she's there. Try to find some peace in that knowledge. She's being helped. ((((HUGS)))))
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{BBK}}} I'll cry right along side you...
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I will be thinking of that sweet girl and hoping to heaven that she is helped so soon.
    I know you are scared, she is scared. I just have no words for the pain that mental illness brings on families.
    Please take care of yourself and I will be praying for you and Tink.
    You are doing the right thing, just keep up and track what is going on how they are stabilizing her and the treatments/plans.
    I know this is hard right now, but you need to know.
    Huge hugs
  11. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member


    Crying with you. I agree this is a time for you to recharge after the intial shock of her being admitted.

    Keeping you both in my thoughts.
  12. RWHangel

    RWHangel New Member

    I started to cry when I read this post. Hunny I so understand how you feel. My difficult child is 6 yo and just got out of her first trip to the psychiatric hospital. I cried so hard when I left it hurt to come home it hurt to breath I curled up in a ball and turned into sludge. It did nothing to help me or her. I kept thinking it was all my fault because she is soooo young the youngest in there at the time and it hurt hearing her cry for me to take her home. It hurt more when she did the things she did at home. I knew it was for the best but it killed me to see her everyday for 40 minutes then leave her behind a locking door and watch her scream and pound on the door to take her home. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and please believe us when we say it is not your fault she is going to get the help she needs and you need to get some rest while she is gone to get ready for her return. I know how badly it hurts but you have to know she is going to finally get the help she needs. With mine taking her trip to the hospital it opened doors I never knew existed. Trust the mother in you and be good to yourself while she is there it will help.

  13. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Hugs, BBK.

    I hope she gets the help she needs. And I hope you can rest while someone else carries the burden for you for a little bit.
  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    My heart sank when I read your subject line. Poor Tink. God, I can barely think about the first time Matt went into phosph. He was 6. I cried all of the time and so did he. It was horrible. However, in retrospect, each and every time he was in phosph something good came from it.

    You are not alone, and Tink has not died. Try to find some peace and solace in that she is safe, and she is getting the help she needs. So many hugs girl. I am so, so sorry.
  15. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Many, many hugs, BBK.
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    BBK, first major hugs.

    Your mommy heart is suffering and that hurts us all. But in your logical mind I know you realize this is best for Tink. Certainly she is so young and it is better to get this kind of help when she's 8 than when she's 16. Remember Martie's survey of a number of years ago? Early intervention is a big part of future success.

  17. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    BBK - I'm so sorry to hear this but at the same time, I am hopeful that this will be a positive step for both of you. I hope that she is stabilized and you are given some options for resources.

    Many gentle hugs to you.
  18. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    BBK, I hope this psychiatric hospital stay starts the wheels in motion for the help Tink needs and deserves. Sending many gentle hugs for your hurting mommy heart.
  19. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Just sending you gentle (((hugs))) BBK. Keeping positive thoughts that Tink will be coming home stabilized & you with a boatload of resources.

    Our mommy's heart breaks a bit each time we have to see our babies so out of control that they need hospitalization/treatment out of the home.
  20. jcox

    jcox New Member


    This past February we had to put my son E who was then 6 in the psychiatric hospital for the first time. It was the hardest, but best thing I have ever done for him. If only I could have imagined the days to come I would have done it sooner. I worried so much about him everyday. Would he be mad at me? Would he ever forgive me for putting him there? Would they comfort him when he was upset? Would they help him with his personal care? He was okay. He did not hate me. They did comfort and help him. He even learned new self help skills that I did not know he was capable of. Children are stronger and smarter than we think. Somewhere inside he realized that they helped him feel better. His brain was sick and he knew that. He stayed for 15 days. The first week was the hardest for me. Then I began to take that time, knowing he was safe to relax, spend time with the other kids, recoup for when he came home. Since his release he has been like another child that was stuck inside my son and is finally able to come out. They were able to change his medications much quicker than on the oustide. You are a great mom for getting Tink the help she needs. Sometimes our children need more help then even the best mothers on Earth can give. Please have peace in your heart knowing you did the right thing. I am praying and hoping for many sunshiney days coming your way.